This Questioner’s Guide to Getting Stuff Done
Know yourself to move ahead
I love a good to-do list. A clearly defined set of objectives for the upcoming hour/day/week/year, the reminder so I don’t forget what I’m working on, the immense satisfaction of crossing off that completed item. And I mean cross off — a line through it — indicating it is done. (Some to do list practitioners will tell you that a check mark is most appropriate as you can still read the item on the list. My lists end up in the garbage so I’ll take that satisfying strike through all day long.)
Some days that list gets powered through, definite lines through my tasks showcasing the work I’ve done and keeping me motivated. And yet, other days that list sits there, untouched, staring at me. I avoid looking at it, not wanting to be reminded of everything I’m not doing. I find myself actively avoiding the list, doing anything other than that which I’ve identified is important for the day.
What’s up with that?
Self-awareness is the key to all learning and growth. Understanding how I work pushes me to highlight my strengths, accept my shortfalls, and incorporate essential tools to reach my goals.
Understanding My Tendencies
One of the most insightful tools is The Four Tendencies work by Gretchen Rubin. One’s “tendency” is determined by how you respond to expectations: those placed upon you (outer expectations) and those you place upon yourself (inner expectations).
Here is a brief summary of each tendency:
Upholder: Meets outer AND inner expectations
Obliger: Meets outer expectations; Resists inner expectations
Rebel: Resists outer AND inner expectations
Questioner: Resists outer expectations; Meets inner expectations
As the title of this article implies, I fall into the Questioner category and my runner up is… Rebel. Oof.
How I Apply This Piece of Self-Awareness
Questioners need to know the “why” behind expectations. How does a particular task apply to the big picture? This is easy for me to define for myself, hence the ability to meet my inner expectations. When I cannot get a satisfying explanation for an outer expectation, it matters less to me and my attention to it suffers. Knowing this, I seek out the explanations I need to justify the expectation. When it comes to my professional work, I take the information I can and accept I may not always get the full reasoning — yet still need to get the work done. In those cases, I find the deeper meaning for myself. Does this contribute to my overall goals? Almost always, it does and that helps push me forward.
Rebels just don’t give a sh*t. When this tendency is dominating, I do what I want. Rebels also like a challenge. The best way for me to move past this barrier is to gamify the process. How many words can I write in ten minutes? I’ll set the timer and give it a shot. If I finish this article this afternoon, I can reward myself with whatever I want. In all honesty, this works about 70% of the time. Which is much better than the 0% of work that was happening prior to understanding this about myself.
Knowing these tendencies helps me identify when I’m in a slump, feeling unmotivated, or frustrated — and then decide what to do about it. Most days I acknowledge the questioner in me and push forward. On some days where my energy and creativity aren’t showing up, I give myself a break and do whatever I feel like. After all, I am a (partial) rebel.
(You can take The Four Tendencies Quiz here: https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/ — it’s free!)
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