This one tip will make you immune to narcissists forever…

Summary

The article discusses the futility of trying to save narcissists from their destructive behavior and emphasizes the importance of recognizing and protecting oneself from narcissistic abuse.

Abstract

The article sheds light on the nature of narcissists, describing them as individuals disconnected from their true selves and operating from a false ego that seeks attention and sympathy without genuine effort to change. It underscores that narcissists are often aware of their manipulative tactics and derive pleasure from the sympathy of others. The author advises that attempting to save a narcissist is not only ineffective but also detrimental to one's own well-being, as narcissists are not interested in redemption and will exploit the savior's efforts. The article encourages establishing strong boundaries and recognizing that narcissists must take responsibility for their own healing, which is a challenging process that they may resist.

Opinions

Narcissists are seen as "false selves" who are disconnected from a true sense of consciousness or morality.
The article suggests that narcissists enjoy their disordered state if it garners them sympathy and attention without the need for personal growth.
It is emphasized that narcissists are expert manipulators who play on the emotions of others to gain supply and control.
The author believes that most narcissists are not redeemable and that their behavior cannot be excused by their condition.
The article posits that narcissists are fully aware of their actions and use their diagnosed condition to manipulate and avoid accountability.
It is argued that loving a narcissist more or trying to save them will only lead to further exploitation and harm to the individual attempting to help.
The author advises that the only effective way to deal with narcissists is to see them for what they are, maintain strong boundaries, and protect one's own mental health, possibly through no contact.
The article concludes that while narcissists may have been victims of abuse themselves, it is their responsibility to seek healing and not perpetuate the cycle of abuse.

This one tip will make you immune to narcissists forever…

And it’s simpler than you think…

After narcissistic abuse, you unfortunately realise that pure evil exists. You see the world divided into light and darkness. (Almost like seeing the code of the Matrix). It may sound a little dramatic saying that another person is evil but we should really approach this question –

What exactly is the definition evil?

An evil person really is a false self. It is an entity that has been cut off from source – from consciousness, God, the light, etc. (whatever you wish to call it). It could also be regarded as false empowerment that is governed by the wants and demands of the ego. This separation consciousness cannot generate itself without latching on to individuals who are connected to source. They steal the light that is expressed in others because they cannot generate conscious connection within themselves.

They revel in their disorderedness if it encourages people to have sympathy for them. If they have been officially diagnosed with NPD and they are using that as a way to gain sympathy from others without doing anything to try and get better, then they are simply trying to get attention and supply via your sympathy.

Don’t fall for it.

Remember – they are experts in playing the victim. Being diagnosed with NPD doesn’t give them perpetual victim status or condone future bad behaviour.

The one revelation I had which made a huge difference to me is this:

The majority are not redeemable and they cannot be saved. They don’t want to be saved – (why would they?) If they secure attention, sympathy and pity from the people around them because they have been diagnosed with NPD, they have a great excuse for their behaviour – ‘I can’t help this, you know that’ mentality.

They derive a great deal of pleasure and narcissistic supply which comes from them seeing you try to save them. NPD is deeply intrinsic to who they are and overcoming it would require tremendous effort, possibly over many years. This is why so many narcissists cannot be cured. At most, it can be managed with therapy and medication – IF they are willing to deal with it.

They are expert game players who know how and when to move their pawns into position. “Check mate” is their goal – and you are their victim. Their success lies in convincing you of their humanity and victimhood.

“Life has been so unfair to me.”

“I have nobody else but you.”

“Nobody has ever understood me until now.”

“I can’t help this, it’s just who I am.” (That could be the abuser’s creed!)

“Look what you made me do, you triggered me. This is your own fault. You know I have this problem.”

All of this is to garner sympathy and pity. The more you believe them, the more they can reel you in. Of course, you cannot get your head around the fact that someone would fake all of this just to get what they want. That is the key to their deception.

Remember:

Narcissists fake everything – they fake relationships, they fake sincerity, they fake emotion.

Why?

Because that’s what a false self does.

So – how do you become immune to the influence of narcissists?

Stop believing that loving them more and caring about them can save them.

It can’t.

This is just a fact of life. They don’t want to be saved and the more you love them, the more they will take and try to destroy you. They become stronger as you become weaker – and this is what they want, you endlessly giving whilst receiving nothing back.

They do not operate on the same level as you and I do. At their very core is a broken person whose pieces are sharp, glass shards that they will use to hurt you with. Hurt people, hurt people. They will never allow you in and they will never have the confidence to allow themselves to be truly vulnerable. That would mean them coming face to face with who they really are and that is a dangerous thing.

If they are using their condition for attention, they will need you to believe that they can be saved and that you are the only one to do it. Once you fall for this ploy, they know they have won. What they say to you will have been said to many other supply before you – and it will be said to many more after you.

The remedy?

See them for what they are.

They really do know what they’re doing and they are in full control of their life and the choices they make. Everything else they say and do is a technique to hook you in and get narcissistic supply. Realise that these people at their core are fake due to the fact that they are operating from an ego based, false self – and they therefore fake everything they say and do to get what they want. That is the source they are operating them.

It’s as straightforward as that.

It is possible for some people with NPD to become self-aware and manage their behaviour but it requires a lot of therapeutic support and also – a person with NPD has to acknowledge they are narcissistic - and that is a very hard thing to do when you have a fragile ego rooted in deep insecurity.

This is the problem – they are broken people.

Do they deserve our pity?

The answer – yes and no.

Yes (from a great distance with VERY strong boundaries in place).

No – if they prey on people to engage their sympathy to deliberately manipulate them. If they knowingly indulge in maladaptive behaviours which hurt the people around them constantly, then they are not the victim. They are the abuser.

The narcissists I have had the misfortune to engage with throughout my life have absolutely refused to take responsibility for their behaviour or to admit there is anything wrong with them. The more I tried to help, the worse their abuse became.

Going no contact was a no brainer – for my own mental health and wellbeing, I had to protect myself – and so should you (without feeling any misplaced guilt) if you are dealing with a narcissistic abuser.

One thing is for sure – narcissists are the only ones who can save themselves but you are not the one to do it. The real responsibility belongs to them.

It is not their fault that they were the victims of abuse, but it is absolutely their responsibility to make every effort to heal from what happened to them. Everybody has that responsibility to break the cycle of abuse so we don’t hurt anyone else – hurting people is never acceptable!

(And yes – evil exists – but so does goodness).

I hope this article resonates with you and makes sense.

Thanks for reading 🙏❤️

Book the narcissistic recovery course here on my website!

DISCLAIMER: This article is not a substitute for receiving medical/mental health support. Please consult your G.P. if you are struggling with any of the issues in this article. This article in no way indicates that the above mentioned points will guarantee a healing solution. They are general points only.