This One Skill Will Improve You in All Aspects of Life

And it is a skill anybody can develop

Hearing and listening do not hold the same definition.

If a string of words forming a thought, dive into one ear and emerge out the other, you are hearing. If you pull the series of letters apart, place a magnifying glass up to them, and put the clues together to compile the message the speaker is trying to convey — you are listening.

Hearing is so easy that a caveman can do it. Hearing is a passive process that does not require much energy or effort because it is automatic, even accidental at times. There are sounds that we regularly hear that we have learned to filter out, like a car horn or running lawnmower. But not everyone intuitively knows or has the ability of how to listen well.

Listening is not a passive process but an active mental and physical function that requires motivation, focus, and effort. Listening is deeper than paying attention to what people say. Listening assembles the message by recognizing how someone speaks, their voice, the language they’re using, and their body language. Active listening is a crucial skill for life, as it helps us better understand the genuine meanings expressed by others.

Listening is an overlooked skill in life but also touches every aspect of it. Listening is essential for students, professionals, and leaders in communication, business, leadership, relationships, and the workplace. Listening is an important life skill because it is practical, social, professional, and aids personal development. Listening connects us to everyone else and helps us learn and discern the world around us.

“Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking.” — Bernard Baruch

Listening improves the quality of our social life by creating meaningful relationships with those around us. We build human connections when we give our full attention to someone expressing themselves. By listening to others, we become a better partner or friend that is likely to be perceived as someone who cares about their well-being.

Everyone contains knowledge unknown to us, and we can learn from what others say. Listening is beneficial for personal development because it expands our horizons to new thoughts, opinions, and ideas. Over time, this will make you more experienced, knowledgeable, and thoughtful.

In my clinical experience as a physical therapist, active listening skills led to a noticeable improvement in patient satisfaction and outcomes. Paying attention and asking questions of patients revealed information I could apply to help patients. The more information I retrieve from listening to my patients, the more creative and innovative I can be with their treatments. Not only did listening improve my treatments, but I have learned countless facts and information about the world and people that have benefited me from listening alone.

Like any skill, listening requires practice.

How to effectively listen:

• Maintain eye contact with the speaker. Eye contact cues the speaker that the listener is paying attention to them. People can feel the spotlight when all eyes are on them.
• Do not interrupt the speaker. Wait until the speaker finishes before asking questions. If you listen long enough, several queries might be answered without the need to ask.
• Do not let your feelings get in the way. With conversation, fear, worry, or anger can interfere with the message. If you are resistant to change when you are listening, you will skew your listening effectiveness.
• Body language matters and implies if you are listening. Facing the speaker and nodding your head can be helpful to indicate attention and agreement.
• Destroy any bias or prejudice against the speaker or what they are saying. Do not make assumptions based on the speaker’s background or language differences. Become an open vessel.

Common mistakes of listening:

• After the first sentence or two, we can become distracted then begin thinking about what we will say in reply, missing the full message.
• There is extra time to daydream about unrelated things because speech rates are much slower than our processing rate. Average speech rates are around 125 words per minute, while the average processing speed is 400 words per minute. That math leaves us plenty of time to daydream about the steak we will eat for dinner in exchange for our attention.
• Becoming self-absorbed or wrapped up in our universe can ruin a conversation. It is easy to get wrapped up in our heads, but remember everyone is also in their own universe. There’s nothing wrong with expanding our galaxy to allow the worlds to comingle.
• Listening for only facts is a common mistake. If we focus too much on isolated facts, we can miss the primary idea the speaker is attempting to convey. Do not let facts overshadow the speaker’s direct message.

Like any other skill, listening refines through practice and experience. The gracious fact about listening is that it does not depend on intelligence, and anybody can become an effective listener. Listening is a skill that allows us to perform better, understand more, and communicate more effectively with others.

We owe it to ourselves and those around us to listen. People have plenty of information to offer, and we will earn more respect and gain more human connection by listening.

“We have two ears and one mouth, so we can listen twice as much as we speak.” — Epictetus