This Mortal Debt
Destined for dust

The debt is certain, unmistakable. This body on loan. This mortgage. This house of nerve and bone. This yoke. This rock bound for earth. This plant destined for soil.
What am I but a slow meditation on Death?
Beating heart of some autumn red landscape.
Total sacrifice.
Death consumes some, propels others. Either way it is gravity.
Gravity pulls and menaces. Sometimes She shames, chains, blames, murders.
There is no dodging Her ire.
Your own Boss turns Kali Incarnate. Holds your life in her hands.
You have no rights. You have no protections. You are an ear-marked animal awaiting slaughter.
Much of life is rape. Violation and humiliation. Ingratiating sacrifice.

Dumb unwitting Isaac looking up at an unstable Father — hoping, dreading, waiting for the terrifying whim of the hour.
We are all of us blood sacrifices, terror-laden lottery balls of a passing hour.
We are subject to rape and violation, accident and interruption.
We are Isaacs bound to our own temperaments like stakes — humiliatingly saying ‘yes’ when we mean no.
Helplessly yielding our human rights to our Aggressor.
Like an arbitrary bond refund promised at birth — your own body is traded as unceremoniously as common money.
Your very words are wrenched out of your mouth against your will, at your own expense.
Humiliation is your daily bread.
Kali lives on your sacrifices. What doesn’t She throw in the flames? Our beliefs are made sport of. As for reason, is there an older joke? Our illusion of control is Her favorite candy.
Remember that gutted feeling in San Francisco after your best friend committed suicide? Who’s to say She didn’t delight in it? Our grief warms Her altar. And it’s not only Kali. Violent Varuna is binding you — He is not taking bribes anymore. Yaweh wants your first born — He is not settling for cattle this time.
Climate Change is a growing holocaust — the gods are getting hungry.

What have we done? What are we doing?
Even now do I sacrifice. Anxiety of dripping time Kronos eats the excess fat. Stress is His staple. Your pain is His nourishment. You feed Him your unknowing paralysis, your deep bewilderment and infinite defeat.
Like a slit throat spilling out an entire Sky — Sacrifice can only sing like a gypsy, wounded and plaintive. The gods show no mercy — they delight in your pain and eat your sacrifice.
© Carlo Zeno 2022
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