This Morning, I Woke Up To Clarity

A Sunday morning reset

Maybe this is TMI for my male friends, but to my ladies, I ask — have you ever woken up to a wonderful, calm feeling after 2 continuous days of menstrual pain?

I did today.

I slept great, I got a dream that was better than my reality — and those dreams I don’t get often. Plus, my reality these days is probably somebody else’s dream — I have nothing to complain about. No job, no stress, no great responsibilities.

Yet during my menstrual cycle, my mind reminds me of all the lack in my life.

But this morning, I woke up to no more menstrual pain. My mind felt fresh.

The sky is neither super bright nor super cloudy — it’s in the middle where I love it.

The sea was reflecting the soft rays of the sun, as I peaked from my balcony. Now I write this.

Menstruation Is a Period of Spiritual Cleansing For Women

Each time during this period, a painfully candid conversation with myself happens.

Back in 2022, when I was thriving in California, my period would be the time that would tell me the opposite. It would come knocking on my door with hard questions.

“What’s your purpose here in this foreign land, away from your people, your community, your motherland?”

Every frikkin month, it was the same question. Homesickness and existential crisis.

What it was trying to tell me was that my time in the USA was done. I fulfilled the purpose with which I came to it years ago. It was time for me to embark on a new chapter and close this one out.

Now back in my home country, living the new chapter here, questions come up again.

“What is your plan now with your career?”

“Was the last relationship of your life the absolute last shot at something close to marriage?”

My career and my love life seem to be eternal grey areas. I don’t think about it much, but it catches up to me when I’m at my lowest.

But this morning, I woke up to clarity, and no more cramps.

Clarity that content creation is what I’ll give my 100% to — no matter how slow my growth is, no matter how many times the algorithm works against me, no matter the outcome. I’ll keep running in this marathon.

As for my love life, the best one can do is fill their life with people and activities they love, to fill the gap of a significant other in their life.

Right now, content creation is keeping me so busy ( except when I roll around my bed with menstrual cramps) that I forget about the lack of anything else in my life.

That’s the magic of creation. It makes you feel alive. It makes you feel a purpose. It makes you feel…. clear.