Summary

The article discusses the importance of being comfortable with solitude to avoid toxic relationships and build meaningful connections.

Abstract

The article emphasizes that the fear of being alone often drives individuals into toxic friendships and relationships. It suggests that solitude is essential for self-reflection, personal growth, and the development of genuine relationships. The author shares a personal experience of overcoming co-dependency and toxic friendships by embracing alone time, which led to self-discovery, increased confidence, and the formation of true friendships. The article encourages readers to practice being alone to break the cycle of toxic relationships and to find self-love, which will ultimately reduce feelings of loneliness and increase self-confidence.

Opinions

The author believes that needing a large number of people around oneself is a sign of discomfort with being alone and is unhealthy.
It is posited that without self-reflection and solitude, individuals are likely to repeat patterns of toxic relationships.
The article conveys the idea that meaningful relationships cannot be formed without first being comfortable on one's own.
The author suggests that loneliness can be decreased and self-confidence increased through self-reflection and meditation.
The author's friend is quoted as saying that people who need many around them are uncomfortable being alone, implying this is an unhealthy state.
The article implies that taking time to be alone helps in discovering one's passion and establishing higher standards for friendships.

This is Why You Can’t Stop Jumping Into Toxic Friendships

Being alone is a hard practice no one wants to do.

“I feel bad for other people who need tons of people around them. That means they’re uncomfortable being alone and that’s not healthy.”

— My friend

I’ll never forget when my close friend uttered those words to me at dinner.

We got into a huge conversation about people who feel lonely or insecure to the point where they need millions of people around them. These acquaintances they hang out with are far from real friends.

Heck, I know another friend who forced themselves into a toxic relationship because she didn’t want to feel lonely anymore.

Here’s something most people forget:

You’ll never build meaningful and genuine relationships unless you can be comfortable on your own.

I used to be co-dependant as hell.

I surrounded myself with toxic, racist people who used me as their emotional punching bag for five years. I put myself in that situation because I didn’t want to be one of those “weirdos” that sat at the lunch table by themselves.

If you’re a needy person, you’ll throw yourself to wolves before properly evaluating whether or not this person deserves to be in your life.

You’ll take anything you can get as long as you have someone that can decrease that loneliness.

After I dropped my toxic-ass friends, I endured a long period of being alone.

Did I feel lonely during that time?

Hell yeah!

Sometimes I’d gaze outside of my college dorm window and see other people walking with their friends. I felt like I had no one. Even the calls I got from my family didn’t help.

Look, being alone is a practice.

It’s a chance for you to meditate and reflect on the horrible decisions you’ve made in your life. Most people can’t stomach doing that because they’ve never taken accountability for their bullshit.

If you don’t sit by yourself for a while and think, you’ll never break this toxic cycle of jumping into bad relationships.

Once you’ve put that time into self-reflection and mediation, you’ll realize who you are. You’ll figure out your passion. You’ll gain higher friendship standards.

You’ll figure out what you want and don’t want in a relationship.

I figured out my passion was writing. I found three amazing friends. I gained more self-confidence. I did all of that after I stopped myself from making more “friends” who I barely took the time to evaluate.

None of this can be accomplished through acquaintances whispering in your ear.

It’s your time to take this situation by the balls and be comfortable being by yourself.

Once you figure out how to love yourself, your loneliness will decrease dramatically and you’ll gain the self-confidence you’ve never thought you had before.

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