This Is Why Rejection Is Good for You
Change your perception, change your outcome.
There are many things we’d rather experience than be rejected. It doesn’t feel good at all. In fact, it stinks.
For some, this means turning away from their pursuits altogether. Settling for the identity of someone who doesn’t belong, they drop what brings them joy because someone else said they weren’t good enough.
For others, they tend to see the good in rejection, the underlining effects of having the door hit them in the nose as they listened for an answer. They turn and walk away with their heads high and a sense of direction.
In truth, there are two ways you can respond to rejection.
Either you can let it drag you down to a state of stagnation, unwilling to take another step.
Or, you can take the opinions and answers of those who turned you down and allow them to push you further.
The choice is ultimately yours. But just like those who’ve chosen to see the good in what appears to be bad, this is what you’ll discover.
You May Be Dodging Bullets
Most of us can remember a time when we received “no” for an answer. It cut right to the core of our being, like someone yanking our hearts out and stomping on them. All of it happened right in front of our eyes too.
As explicit as that sounds, I know many of you can relate to this. It’s a part of life, as we all know. But for the most part, it’s not always easy to deal with “no.” Regardless of how many times we hear it, the response still hurts.
A few years ago, my twin brother and I wanted to start a photography business.
We had a list of gear we wanted to buy. Our YouTube history was littered with instructional, how-to videos for aspiring photographers wanting to sharpen their skills with a camera. And we knew exactly what we wanted to shoot.
Our editing style developed over time into something our followers enjoyed, as likes and comments poured in on social media.
The plan was to take it slow, let the crowd build a bit, then—Bam! We’d launch our site with session costs and details for the world to see. This was something we took seriously. And the growth was happening so fast it was hard to wait.
So, with the rapid increase in attention, we decided to take our chances of getting a shot with several reputable companies. Granted we were quite young.
There was no long track record of working with other businesses. Just a couple of youngsters with an eye for photography and a decent portfolio.
Needless to say, that wasn’t enough. We were rejected immediately by every one of them.
At the moment, it stung badly. The pain was severe because of so much anticipation and excitement that lead us to that point. But today, I’m so glad it happened.
We heard feedback from other photographers who told us how badly those companies treated them throughout the entire process.
Soon enough, we received an email from another large company that discovered our work online. They gave us the shot we’d been waiting for.
Sometimes rejection is a detour that keeps you from landing in a sinkhole.
It’s not easy to stomach analogies like that, especially in the heat of the moment. But in retrospect, hindsight is 20/20. We can look back and attest to the dangers that were in front of us and appreciate the denial.
Uncovering Areas That Need Attention
It’s one thing to walk away from “no” with our heads down and our ambition shot to pieces. It’s a totally different thing to know why.
Rejection can also mean there are areas we need to improve on. We often assume this as a bad thing. Someone’s just picking on us because they don’t like us or something like that. But it’s actually a good thing.
You get to identify the weak link(s) in your chain. The places that hold you back from becoming the creative genius you know yourself to be. As you attempt to move forward, this is what weighs you down.
Still, it’s not enough to only acknowledge that there’s an area that needs improvement. You have to actually do something about it.
That’s what improvement is. After you’ve identified the issue, you make changes, learn from them, and get better. This is a plus no matter who you are or what stage of life you’re in.
Like my dad always says,
Life is a tester.
There are moments when we’re pushed to the absolute limit. The temptation to quit is at an all-time high in this phase.
Most people give up when the pressure is on them. They see criticism as a picky, unloving characteristic of hateful souls. Not realizing that criticism is not always bad, even though it sounds like it.
We love compliments but frown at the thought of being turned down for any reason. Extraordinary people don’t think this way, though. One person may say “no,” but someone out there will say “yes.” They work hard, learning and growing until they see it come to life.
A Fire Gets Lit
There are also times when we become complacent. The assumption that we’re “good enough” overtakes our perspective of producing quality content that people value.
Whether it’s music, writing, coding, or photography, getting comfortable is never what you want. When this happens, you stop getting better, you stop growing, and rejection becomes the period at the end of a sentence instead of a semicolon.
For people who aren’t willing to give up on their pursuits simply because of a thumbs down, rejection lights a fire within them. They make their strides even harder than before.
They see what they want and they go after it. Like it or not, eventually these individuals get their shot. Their persistence pays off over time.
Not that it’s easy, or that hearing those words won’t sink deep. But they shouldn’t stay there (unless they’re churning a fire that never goes out).
Maybe you were rejected by a publication. Perhaps you didn’t get that job you wanted. So what? Are you going to let that stop you from writing, from creating, from dreaming?
Let the fire burn.
This is the mindset that will change your life. When you no longer see rejection as the worst thing ever, you’ll begin to notice how it strengthens your dedication to a specific goal.
Kevin Horton is a photographer, college student, modest book-worm, and wanna-be web developer with a new-found love for writing. He writes helpful words about creativity, productivity, and the enjoyably simple life.
’Til next time, thanks for reading!