This Is Why Reconnecting with Our Twin Flame Happens in Divine Timing

Dear friends,

In my last piece, I shared with you my experience of having two phone calls with my twin flame that left me feeling rather unsettled, fearful, and triggered. I mentioned that I was going to try to find out why I was feeling that way.

We ended up meeting in person on March 27th. We had agreed to meet during our second phone call, and he traveled to my city (about one hour away from him). There were about three days between our second phone call and the in-person meeting. I had to summon all the lessons I had been learning about balance because, honestly, I was feeling terrified.

My terror was stemming from knowing he was still in that space of self-doubt and fear of giving us a chance. That terror lasted perhaps one day and a half as I consciously and with determination decided to ground my energy and meet up with him knowing that God had to show me something from it and it did not mean in any way I was going to get hurt again.

I kept reminding myself how throughout these months of separation I had been learning to manage my emotions better, ground my energy, transmute it to benefitial outcomes and protect myself through boundaries.

I was able to identify that any fear in my meeting with him was coming from doubting my ability to protect myself and applying all the lessons I had learned in the recent past.

There were many thoughts that were crossing my mind which I did not allow myself to entertain such as: ‘Finally, our reunion! I’ll convince him to heal, I’ll help him, it will be a romantic encounter. He is the love of my life, and we will have a wonderful time…’ and also… ‘I need to keep my distance so I don’t get hurt again, I need to remember to ask him, this, this and this, I must tell him that he needs to heal and love himself, etc…’

I could observe how I was starting to shift to an obsessive energy of not wanting to mess up this meeting.

I found myself making so many notes on points I wanted to discuss with him, compiling lists of books and videos to recommend, and planning offers to put on the table so we could start again with more caution… until I finally told myself to STOP!!

Can’t you see this is a test from the Source for you to see how much you’re prioritizing your own healing and growth over repeating the same patterns of the past that only led to suffering and destruction?

Yes, I realized it and decided to shift gears. I directed all my energy towards focusing on the present moment.

Moment by moment, I consciously chose to remain present, actively observing whenever I felt the urge to shift away from the present. I succeeded.

I was fully capable of staying in the present moment throughout the day and night leading up to the meeting, as well as during the meeting itself.

This success didn’t come over night of course, it was the fruit of my determination to remain constant in my healing throughout the 15 months of separation.

The Meeting with my Twin Flame

He arrived, and we gave each other a quick hug right away. Sadly, he looked nothing like before. In the past, when we were together, he appeared more lively. This time around, I avoided looking at him for the most part because he looked truly distraught.

I could see how much dark energy he was carrying. His eyes looked like he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in forever. He looked defeated, lost, worried, and just not good at all.

Of course, I did not address how unwell he looked. Instead, I tried to break the ice by telling him about my new place, my new role at work, my neighborhood, and simple things like that.

Our meeting lasted about 5 hours. We had dinner together and I was just allowing God to lead me and speak from my heart. I did not have to look at the list of the points I wanted to touch upon. I just allowed the moment to flow. To be honest with you, I felt no sexual desire for him or passion like before, I attribute this to him looking so vulnerable, tired and defeated.

He did inspire me, however, to nurture him, so I invited him to sit more comfortably as I lightly massaged his legs and head. He fell asleep for about 20 minutes, roughly 1.5 hours into our meeting, and I held his hand throughout this time as I prayed for him. He woke up apologizing, saying, ‘Sorry, my eyes just closed’.

I asked him if he had been able to sleep, to which he chuckled and said, ‘I got a few hours.’ He has huge issues with sleeping; his tendency to overthink and succumb to negative thinking has usually overtaken him.

At some point he grabbed his head and said: ‘Thinking about the future is so scary!’. Clearly, he has not found ways to manage his tendencies to catastrophize.

I genuinely had no desire to incite any sexual arousal; all I could think about was helping him somehow feel better. It genuinely broke my heart to see him so unwell. Even now, as I remember, I get teary.

I did catch him in some moments looking at me in awe. He did not talk much; however, as always, he was a great listener. I could tell he was fully present throughout the five hours we were together. Every time I would hold his hands, he would hold mine as well, albeit with some hesitation.

He kept holding back on expressing himself because he remains under the belief that I deserve better and he just can’t give me what I deserve. Which is true.

In his current state, I can see he can barely give himself the right amount of oxygen, sleep, and food, let alone any other necessary elements to find the determination to heal. He did touch upon how his wife asked him not to leave her a few months ago during our separation.

I asked him, ‘But what triggered her to say such?’ He said, ‘I don’t know, but she just wants me there at home, sitting and watching TV with her. She is very much dependent on me and has no other life.’

He began tearing up when he said, ‘When I think of marrying you, and her asking me not to leave her, I just can’t…’ He quickly tried his best not to cry.

I said, ‘Yes, I understand it is very hard to have someone see us as their only source, but you need to think about ways to break this codependent cycle you have going on with her because you are also contributing. You keep enabling her by not going out, or doing your own life just because she wants you at home.’

This issue he mentioned with his wife was also something he mentioned to me about two years ago. She doesn’t allow him to go out by himself other than to work because she wants him home with her all the time. I kindly reminded him that if he wants his daughter to be raised in healthier ways, it was in his hands to try to reform his marriage and heal it from codependency.

We discussed how ‘love’ from the ego is possessive, and then he right away said… ‘and it doesn’t last…’

He did mention how I have helped him wake up to so many things, although it would be too lengthy to mention them all.

The few times he talks about his wife, he refers to her as the mother of his child. When he touches upon how possessive and dependent she is of him, you can see extreme grief in his eyes, which he can barely control. It genuinely makes me very sad to see how powerless he feels.

We did not touch upon the past or why he never replied to my emails or attempts to reach out. To me, it all became evident when I see that his mindset resembles that of codependency towards his entire family, particularly his mother, wife, and one sibling in particular.

He continues to believe that he needs to cling to the family business despite its decline, which is causing them to accumulate debt. Financially, he’s not doing well at all. However, he’s terrified to sell the business and explore new paths for himself.

I gifted him two books that I believed could help him. After the meeting, he messaged me on WhatsApp, saying:

‘I have arrived. Thank you so much for the food, the books, and most importantly, the knowledge you shared. May God always bless you.’

After this encounter, I tried to maintain a conversation on WhatsApp by sending him some videos that have helped me, and I would ask for his thoughts on them. He did reply for the next three days, but then he stopped responding. His last message was on April 1st.

I’m fascinated that his lack of reply no longer triggers me as it did before. It no longer makes me feel rejected, and it isn’t unbearable as it once was, where I would have felt compelled to block him just to avoid waiting for his response.

I feel peace. I’m in a great place where I’m motivated to continue on my path, and I can clearly see that it’s impossible to establish a relationship with someone who lacks strength or determination in themselves.

At this moment, I can confidently say that I’m no longer attracted to him. I no longer harbor hopes of saving someone from their destructive ways.

God knows I’m here, and I still wish to support him should he choose to take the path of healing seriously. We can’t fight anyone’s traumas or mindsets; healing can’t occur when someone doesn’t believe in it.

I truly thank God for allowing me to reconnect with my twin, which has helped me realize that all the work I’ve put into my healing has paid off in more beautiful ways than I could ever imagine.

There’s nothing greater than feeling grounded, with an unshakeable trust that whatever God gives us is for our highest good.

There are still so many more lessons I need to derive from this encounter and the silence that has followed. I love taking my time to ponder on these. I’ll share more with you when I discover them.🙏

Wishing you light as always!