This Is Why I Laugh At Narcissistic People: Not To Tease, But To Heal
“I find that if I did not laugh at the insanity that others try to thrust onto me, I would just cry. And my tears, once they started to flow……………WOULD……………..NOT………………STOP!” — Xavier
Note: I have written a book called “Empathic Warriors Survival Stories: Not Your Ordinary Empath.” If you are looking for inspiration and motivation to leave the narcissist in your life, these eight great stories will help give you the strength you need to leave.
#narcissism
This Is Why I Laugh: Why I Created “Laughing At Narcs”
(Note: This Is A Very Long Post — But I Want You To Understand Why I Laugh and Why You Should As Well, It Literally Can Save Your Life!)
I created “Laughing At Narcs” in the last week of May 2019 out of an immediate moment of frustration! I remember it vividly. I had just left Thailand to meet a friend of mines in Australia!
And upon my arrival In Australia, the TSA guards, right off the plane, gave me a hard time for what seemed, to me, to be for no REASON! They were questioning my purpose for coming to the country, to which I had answered them THRICE with the same answer.
I gave them ALL the information they needed and had asked for!
I was complying with them as much as reasonably possible!
However, they kept asking me the same question over and over. One of the TSA guards, a lackey, had tried to convince me, I said something that I didn’t say (gaslighting) — but I kept my calm and demeanor and showed them the error of what they had asked, which only seemed to anger them!
I had their Narc Boss Master ask me something, and I shut him down instantly with a rational response.
(Little did I know that would be the fuel to ignite the irrationality I would receive for an hour and a half!)
I am a rational guy, so for me, the hour and a half that they were semi-interrogating me had me thinking and asking myself….” Am I not articulating myself clearly enough?”
In my mind, I was thinking, “Surely the American Accent cannot be that foreign to them? We both speak English!”
So, I kept saying, “I’m not really sure what you are not understanding. I have given you the reasons as to why I am here.”
They kept on pressing with the same question and then went through my bags, took out all my clothes, searched through everything, then noticed my laptop, and asked what was on it.”
I told them, “I am a freelancer; I work online.”
One of the guys asked, “Do you have child porn on there?”
I responded, “What? No! That’s not cool! Who even does that? Why would I have that?”
And then I asked, “Am I being detained!”
“Yes.”
“Under what reason?!”
“Because you seem suspicious. We need to see what’s on your laptop. Give me your password.”
“NO!” (Defiantly and stoically expressed)
“No?”
“Yes, you heard me. NO! I’ll sign in to show you there is nothing illegal on there, but I will NOT give you my password.”
The lackey repeated what I said so that his narc boss master could hear — and his boss then said, “I’m okay with that.”
They searched through my laptop, LOOKING FOR…SOMETHING.
It was at this moment I thought they were trying to set me up.
And again, because I reason, I was thinking, “For what? I did nothing to these clowns (these Jokers)!”
So I picked up a book of mines and just started to read, not acknowledging them, and this seemed to frustrate them even more.”
They started to come over and then talk to me as if we were friends.
“Why were you in Thailand?”
“I go there to fight.”
“Oh, I also do Muay Thai.”
I played along, trying to see where they were trying to go with this semi-interrogation, what the reason was for them interrogating me. So I started talking about Muay Thai.
The lackeys, like the drone fools ciphers they are, started smiling and gawking as I talked with their Narc boss master.
The Narc Boss master of these fools then took me to the side, and said, “We were only giving you a hard time because you look tough. Hehe!”
And he gave me a wink as he chuckled like the buffoon he was.
In my mind, I thought, “You..you wasted my time… because you THINK…THINK…I look tough?????”
(I’m 5 foot 5 inches. I am by no means a Giant! But I guess I have the demeanor and aura of a giant to these lesser men!)
I laughed it off and said, “Well I can’t really change how I look.”
They let me go and my friend who had been waiting an hour and a half to see me was frustrated they did this to me, his wife was there and she was just as angry!
It was at this moment, it became the psychological proverbial straw that broke the camels back in my mind that made me realize, how narcissistic, how petty, how childish, how INSECURE, and how FOOLISH this world really is.
A fool when given power, is eager to use it! Like a child given a new toy, it wants to play!
And I started to laugh — because it was at that moment I said to myself in my mind:
“No matter HOW F*CKED UP the world is…the world and the gods these people worship and pray to for my demise (And god or whatever there is, I have had people pray for my demise)…WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH TO DRAG ME INTO THEIR INSANITY! NO MATTER THEIR NUMBERS! NO MATTERS THEIR petty petty gods! They will NEVER BE ENOUGH TO DRAG ME DOWN! EVER!”
This Is Why I Laugh: Starting To See The Light
I was in the dawns of my 30s at that time, and the guys interrogating me, specifically the boss whom I had made to look stupid in front of his lackeys, was clearly in his 50s.
Ha!
As one of my colleagues, Conner Wood, on here once told me “You can be young only one time in life but you can be immature for the rest of your life.”
D*mn if that isn’t true!
My twenties were in every sense of the word me UNBECOMING everything that people were telling me I was — of people who DARED to have the audacity to try and MOLD ME (as if I were a Toy) into what they wanted me to be!
But d*mn…if the minds of people of the world are not spoonfed what to think — like the kidults they are.
“I see it on TV!”
“What the hell kind of retort is that? What are you FIVE?”
Little did I know, and would later be revealed to me, was that, YES…YES these clowns are really FIVE-YEARS-OLD!
Ciphers. Mindless Flying Monkeys Drones!
Kidults all living in a delusional world that is not that too dissimilar to how the Rugrats use to fantasize their small toddler-minded world’s adventures into great epic stories.
The word is full of brainless ciphers! All ruled by binary thinking narcissists, whose understanding of their own intelligence is comparative to a four-year-old who got into the cookie jar, with chocolate smeared all over their face, and who says…“It wasn’t me? and then believes they will get away with it!
Hilarious, because I just found a clip of a toddler with chocolate smeared all over their face!
When I arrived at my friend’s house, to which he allowed to me stay with his family for three weeks, I created the website “Laughing At Narcs”.
Initially, it was just a blog where I was going to rant and rave about the pettiness of narcissistic people. I was going to poke fun of how stupid these people were and try and get people to see them as the clowns and jokes they are!
I was going to vent!
If you read my earlier works, I use quite a bit of profanity and crass language, to which I have greatly shifted away from! (You may have noticed I blank out any profanity in my writing now!)
As Marcus Aurelius once said, “The greatest revenge is to be unlike him who has done you wrong.”
And I couldn’t agree more!
I started to write and answer more questions here on Quora!
I had no idea…NO IDEA…how many people were dealing with narcissists until people started reaching out to me with questions.
But not only reaching out with questions but with… Thanks!
My posts, my thoughts, my perspectives…were…helping people?!?!
Once that revelation hit, my train of thinking, and how I started to write took a much different tone!
The incident I had gone through was not the major impetus for me trying to better understand the psychology of people.
I had been on a worldwide journey of trying to better understand myself and who I am for about 9 years. I had lived in many countries, amongst many cultures!
Europe, Asia, Africa, The Oceanias!
But no matter where I had gone, the level of irrationality, foolishness, insecurity, and narcissism seemed to be heavily integrated into ALL cultures I had stumbled into.
For a long time, I had, like many of you may also feel, believed when things went wrong it was because I SPOKE TOO HARSHLY, or I HAD NOT GIVEN ENOUGH ATTENTION, or I HAD UNINTENTIONALLY DID A WRONG TO A PERSON.
For a long time, I thought I was a bad person, and the world was just full of nice people — misguided people — but nice and honest people.
Boy…
Was I ever wrong!
And as I started to read people’s questions and their messages to me, I realized…that other people are going through the same insanity that I had gone through in my life. Some were even going through far more harsh stuff than I could ever imagine!
And as I started to build more of a following here on Quora, my new understanding…my new profound VISION of this world started to hurt me.
This new vision of the world and the LEGIONS of nasty people in it…started to hurt my eyes!
This Is Why I Laugh: Why Do My Eyes Hurt?
The Matrix is without a doubt my favorite movie of ALL TIME. There are so many nuggets of gold in that movie! There was one, but of many, a great scene where Neo exits the Matrix and is on an operating table. He looks up at Morpheus and asks him, “Why do my eyes hurt?”, to which Morpheus replies “Because you never used them before.”
Once I started to research & write more about narcissism and started to really delve and dive deeper into the irrationality of the mind of narcissists, I was deluged in a sea of memories that had cascaded down on me of people who WERE NOT SHY — but covert narcissists.
Of people who were not misunderstood — but were malignant narcissists who truly believed they deserve EVERYTHING for being the NOTHINGS they are.
I was inundated with memories of people lying to me, but because I was taught to always give people the benefit of the doubt, I was used, manipulated, and humiliated…TIME and TIME AGAIN because I overlooked and ignored the red flags!
My memories would serve to be the greatest enemies in my life.
Tearing me, and dragging me down into an endless abyss of nihilism.
I would start out my day cursing as soon as my conscious awoke. The first thing that would exit my mouth would be: “Who the F*ck do these people think they are?”
“F*cking a*sholes! F*cking dipsh*t pussy moutherf*ckers.”
“Try and control me? Huh? Try and use me and manipulate me?”
My anger would drive me deeper and deeper into a dark abyss and I became bitter, frustrated, and my desire to get back at the narcissist in my life would become an all-consuming thought!
The realization of seeing the world for what it really is and seeing people for who they truly are was at first a very frightening and depressing truth that I wish I had not uncovered.
It was like opening Pandora’s box and then seeing what the gods had tried to keep the world from ever learning.
That FOOLISHNESS and ENTITLEMENT is just the NORM in society.
Eric Fromm’s “The Sane Society” open my eyes up even more and I would be left in awe — now understanding how buffoonish people REALLY ARE and WERE.
The dude at the bar who came b*tching to me while I was talking to this chick, like a 5year old girl, asking me “why you laughing at me?”, wasn’t drunk, that was just who he was at his core.
The boss who fired me because I didn’t talk to her, despite everyone else not saying anything to her, wasn’t hurt because I was being rude, but because she felt entitled to my attention!
The girlfriends I had broken up with ON THEIR TERMS and then who got mad at me because I went on with my life, weren’t mad we broke up, they were mad that I accepted their discard so easily!
Even before I knew what a narcissist is, I at my core knew how to handled them, to an extent!
At times, I thought it was better to just keep on being naive about the narcissist — because of the realization of knowing what they are and then KNOWING HOW MANY OF THEM EXIST…made me feel lonely at its zenith!
But…I began to find humor in it all!
Why?
Because as Joe Klaas once said, “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”
I couldn’t agree more!
I also started to find the strength to not sink into the nihilism because of the comments and messages I started to receive from people from posts I would write.
My posts and articles served as therapy for me.
And it may have been selfish, but I was writing PRIMARILY FOR ME! My articles were all messages to myself reminding myself to NOT GIVE UP — NOT TO SINK IN INTO THE INSANITY, THE DARK COLD ABYSS OF NIHILISM!!
And what a beautiful serendipitous turn of event it would be to find out, these articles that were meant for me, trying to put out good energy in the universe for me to later absorbed, was now also helping other people!
This Is Why I Laugh: My Post Started To Help People
Just some of but MANY comments of people thanking me:
“thank you.. that is all I can say..” — Bernard
“i bookmark your stuff and read it on my low days. thank you!” — Anonymous
“I seriously needed to read this, damn good job!” Conner Wood
“Happy to see you back man , great blog!” — Anonymous
“I can’t even begin to thank you Xavier for your encouragement and support. You were one of the first people I came across in my search for answers after 6 years of living with a vicious malignant Narc. You were my angel when I could not lift myself. I will never forget your kindness and your good advise. Keep fighting the good fight. Goodness will always prevail. Thank you from the bottom of my soul!” — Maxtin L
“Hello! ….. it’s been 7mths since my narc left me for his younger personal trainer and as he was leaving told me he had been unfaithful the whole time (slept with 2 of my best friends… 1 was a guy)…… after 12yrs together …. i always have loved to pass on credit ….. having my heart proper PROPER BROKEN not once but 3 times in 1 go was quite surreal and im still not ok…. but OMG I wake up every day to read your stuff and it has helped me get through some pretty tough moments of grief…. you are solely responsible for everyone else hearing my laugh for the first time in months…….. I do believe you are a large portion of the reason my magic is turning back on. I don’t understand what and why I deserved what happened to me but im sure glad it did xxxx your amazing and thank you for existing!” — Lisa M
“Truly Inspiring! OMG, what an outstanding collection of ideas! Bravo, man these hundred things might just save my life!? Once again thank you for your time and efforts. I say to myself every morning you could always be worse, but then I was thinking that’s a lie? I felt like it could be worse, but now with new thoughts and ideas I realize it could have been much much worse? Also it could still be worse so now it’s time to turn the tide and changed my life helping people, as I’ve done before, button much different methods and ways! Thanks for saving a soul today! Once I save my mine I will be extremely motivated to help others oh, but I can’t help anyone until I am truly saved myself! This fabulous forum I feel will truly be life-saving! I cannot even put into words how much I appreciate this your time and efforts are above and beyond the Call of Duty as a human. So much appreciation thank you a million times over!
Sincerely,
Steve D”
This Is Why I Laugh: What Hurts The Narcs and Makes Them Weak Is What Makes Us Strong
The things that make the narcissists in our lives to be nasty, cruel, angry, and have turned them into monsters they are — are what make us become people who help others.
Tragedy is a double-edged sword.
One side you have tragedy creating Villains and Monsters!
And on the other side, tragedy creates Heroes and Legends
Joker (the narcissistic douchebag to whom much of society likes) is a villain because of ONE BAD DAY!
Batman is a hero because of ONE BAD DAY!
We, Empathic Warriors, are HEROES.
Because despite all they have done, we have not turned into the monsters they are!
This Is Why I Laugh: The Truth Has Showed Me What They Are
I realized that we are all living in a dark reverie, a narcissist’s delusion. And it is only realizing this truth that has helped me to wake up and transform this nightmare into a dream.
Living in the false delusional reality that others create for us, does NOT have to be how we live our lives.
We do not have to live their lies.
We do not have to live being unhappy!
We do not have to live CARING WHAT THEY THINK, FEEL, or SAY about us.
That seeing them, now for what the petty monsters they really are, is not scary…but hilarious.
My Laugh is NOT one of teasing or mockery, but of realizing and coming to the truth of what is really going on.
My laugh is akin to two people having a misunderstanding about a situation and then coming to the realization that there was just a misunderstanding and the truth, although initially painful, later becomes a joke.
Case and point read the story below for a GOOD LAUGH! (but come back and finish reading my post 😉:
‘THINGS AREN’T WHAT THEY SEEM’ — Read the full story here
to get a good laugh! The Truth is funny!
Laughter is our red pill, not the only red pill, but one red pill, to escape their insanity!
This Is Why I Laugh!
I laugh because they find strength in their numbers…I find strength in myself.
This Is Why I Laugh!
I laugh because they spend their time trying to tear me down…I spend my time building myself up.
This Is Why I Laugh!
I laugh because they tell me “I am NOT one of them”…I laugh because I am not one of them.
This Is Why I Laugh!
I laugh because they live in a nightmare created by their own delusion…I live in a dream of mines created by my own reality! Taking full responsibility for my life and actions!
This Is Why I Laugh!
I laugh because they tried to break me…not understanding they didn’t break me down but they broke me through.
This Is Why I Laugh!
I laugh because I am ME and they are THEM.
Ciphers! Drones. Fools living in a delusional world never appreciating reality for what it is and what it could be — if they but just GROW UP and learn how to use their pain as fuel to drive them to a better life.
This Is Why I Laugh!
I laugh because no matter how many of them there are, how much they gossip, spread rumors, smear campaigns, stalk, and try and turn every against me — it only serves to remind me of EVERYTHING I WILL NOT AND DO NOT WANT TO BE IN LIFE!
This Is Why I Laugh!
We can get to a point in our lives where we rest on our laurels. We accept the mediocrity of life. But they keep reminding me, of what I could be if I just give into mediocrity!
This Is Why I Laugh!
That the fuel they have towards me to destroy my life for their own pleasure is the fuel I use to ignite the passion in me to drive myself to CONSTANTLY BETTER MYSELF.
This Is Why I Laugh!
That I turn tragedy into triumph.
That I use their irrational hatred of me as inspiration to give myself an overwhelming amount of self-love.
That they work hard to plant seeds of doubt into me, not knowing those seeds, only, planted in my fertile mind, blossom into self-confidence and self-reliance.
This Is Why I Laugh!
Because they sought to destroy me, eliminate me…and like Neo from the matrix, I resurrect and become everything they worked so hard to try to keep me from becoming.
This Is Why I Laugh!
They tried to break me and I am STILL HERE!
They say you can’t fight fate and these fools, like the ciphers puppets they are thought they were steering me in the wrong direction, only to find out, the path they blockaded only led me to a more prosperous future, without them in it!
This Is Why I Laugh…And You Can As Well
This one life that we have is a gift!
And yes the narc in your life may have hurt you, humiliated you, used you, manipulated you, played you like a fiddle, wound you up like a tin toy, and set you loose to a demise.
But…you are still here.
You are not destroyed! Only damaged.
And things in life can always be repaired.
A life that has been thrown away as if garbaged to come back and to become so much more than they could have ever imagined…is the best laugh that you can have.
They sought to destroy you — but you becoming everything and MORE is the biggest laugh in their face, and you do this all without becoming like them.
Just being a good person, a successful person, having a wonderful family in spite of all that they did to you, is a good as* joke to someone who spent so much time trying to keep you from having that life.
Jokes on them!
Laugh my Fellow Warriors because the last laugh (your comeback) is the best laugh!
This……….…Is…………Why…………I…………Laugh!
Kudos to anyone who read this through its entirety!
“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it’s yours.”― Ayn Rand,Atlas Shrugged
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