This is What Happened When I tried to Break Free from FOBO
FOBO or Fear of Better Options can lead to analysis paralysis. So should you use this method to make better faster decisions?
I recently watched a talk by guru Patrick McGinnis on FOBO or Fear Of Better Options and making faster decisions. McGinnis is best known as a venture capitalist, writer and speaker, he is the author of the bestseller: The 10% Entrepreneur: Live Your Start-up Dream Without Quitting Your Day Job, a guide to part-time entrepreneurship.
I was curious. I wanted to know how to make faster decisions. It’s something I have often thought about.
How do people with top jobs cope with the endless decisions and choices?
How do they make them so quickly?
Could I make better faster decisions?
I was keen to know more about moving out of decision paralysis caused by having too many choices or being afraid to make a decision because you are worried of making the wrong choice.
I decided to listen, evaluate and then try out his techniques for 30 days to see if the McGinnis technique really would make life easier.
In his short illuminating talk McGinnis outlines 3 types of decisions: low, medium and high stake decisions. First you figure out what type of decision it is, then you decide how much time and energy you should invest in making the decision and what to do if you can’t decide on your own.
Step1: The 3 Types of Decisions
No Stakes
No stake decisions are those such as choosing what restaurant to eat at or what to watch on Netflix.McGinnis says this type of decision doesn’t really have any long term negative effects on your life because it doesn’t really matter whether you eat Chinese or Italian or watch Breaking Bad again.
Low Stakes
Low stakes are decisions that require you to think or analyse a little bit. A low stake decision may have some consequences but not life or death ones. McGinnis gave some examples of routine decisions made at work such as booking a hotel for a company event or choosing a printer.
High Stakes
High stake decisions are those that have a significant or long term consequence for your life or your company. Such as buying a house, choosing the right job, moving countries.
All of this was all perfectly clear and logical and I could see the benefit in clearly defining what type of decision it was so that you didn’t waste too much time or energy stressing over the small stuff. I don’t know about you but I am personally guilty of procrastination. I have in the past wasted a good 15–20mins flicking through Netflix trying to find something to watch not to mention spending an agonising 5 minutes trying to decide which bottle of olive oil to buy. Seriously, you would think I had nothing better to do given the amount of time I have wasted on pointless decisions.
Step 2: Making the Decision
Each type of decision has a procedure to follow so you can make it faster, efficiently and with less stress.
Flip a coin
For no stake decisions it is a simple matter of outsourcing it to the universe. A quick, easy, painless process requiring no effort or thinking on your part. All you have to do is flip a coin or use a timer and give yourself 30 seconds to say yes to it. If you don’t say yes within 30 seconds it’s an automatic no and you have to move on. Never, go back.
Phone a friend
Low stake decisions require a little bit more energy, thought and time. If you find yourself agonising over which hotel to book then you should follow a simple straightforward procedure.
First, organise the facts and your thoughts into a logical sequence and then make a presentation to one person whose judgement you trust and then accept their decision and act on it.
The key here is to accept the decision 100% and act on the decision immediately. This is the only way to speed up the decision making process and to move out of analysis paralysis.
Get Clear
High stake decisions carry with them risks that can have a significant impact on your life, because of this it’s important to spend more time on them so that you get it right. High stake decisions require you to know yourself.
What Do You Really Want?
You need to be asking yourself what it is you really want? Do you want to work remotely or in an office? Are you happy working fixed hours or flexi? A long commute or no commute?
When making the decision you really have to think clearly and understand what is important to you. Here are some questions you should be asking:
Who am I?
What do I stand for?
How am I showing up in the world?
First of all, know you so that you can set the framework for making the best possible decision that will benefit you. For example, do you want to work for an established multinational where competition is tough, long hours are the norm and promotion is based on who you know? Or, would you rather be part of an eco startup that offers flexible working and focuses on collaboration and the process rather than the result? Getting clear now saves you time and energy by providing you certainty in knowing exactly what you are looking for.
Once you are clear on your values then you need to research the data on all of your options. In the old days we would have simply done a pros and cons list. This research however, links specifically to your core values. For example you might want a job with a high salary but would you accept a high salary if it meant you working for a company that was damaging the planet? If you are an eco warrior then clearly this would be a major stumbling block for you.
The great thing about this process is that it ensures you are only researching options for things that are already acceptable to you!
This means all you have to do next is move out of decision paralysis and make a choice.
Step 3: Moving Out of Paralysis
If you haven’t been able to make a decision at the end of the process above then you need to move onto the elimination round.
To start the process you have to make a choice based on your heart, gut instinct or intuition and choose what you think could be the best option. Then begin to compare each option with this choice. Each time get rid of one option. You should never bring an option back, once it has been eliminated it must stay dead and buried, otherwise you will be back on the hamsters wheel going round in circles never making a decision.
Going through this process should help you get clear and come to an acceptable decision.
However, if you find you still can’t make a choice then you need to move on to the next step and get help.
Step 4: Get Help & Outsource
Like me some of you may find this part difficult. In a way you have to acknowledge your vulnerability and basically admit you can’t make the decision on your own, this is not always an easy thing to do. There was a time this would have been considered a weakness, but I honestly think in today’s world it is a definite strength.
At this point it’s time to recruit the help of some trusted friends/family/colleagues to help you and make the decision for you.
Let’s be clear: you have to do the hard work and present them with two or 3 acceptable choices. If you want to avoid equally split decisions then opt for an odd number of helpers because then you will never get an equally split decision.
Next: Present them with your options and let them decide.
Once the decision has been made you have to take immediate and massive action towards the goal.
The whole process seemed perfectly logical and sensible to me so I decided to try it out for 30 days as I had a large number of decisions to make, some big some small and I wondered if the process would really work. Here’s what happened:
My 30day FOBO Challenge
No Stakes
I started making no stakes decisions such as choosing a programme to watch by using a stopwatch.
The result:
Perfect. I was really happy using this method simply because I felt better about myself for having made a speedier decision. It gave me a sense of accomplishment and a warm fuzzy feeling. I did end up watching some things I may have ditched after 5 mins of viewing but that really didn’t make any difference at the end of the day as they turned out ok in the end.
Low Stakes
Low stake decisions produced some surprising results.
First off was: Which hotel should I stay in?
I have done a lot of travel and normally I don’t have a problem choosing a hotel. However, this time around was a little different as I was going to be staying locally and I thought maybe my friends would have some insight into my choices.
The result:
No decisions on the hotels I had suggested but a lovely new suggestion to stay at a different hotel with my friends. It was a good result. Instead of a room for me it became a mini spa break for 3. Definitely a huge win.
Second: Buying a phone. I’m not a tech geek so this was quite a challenge for me. All I knew was I wanted an affordable phone new or used, good quality, good memory and less than 2 years old. I outsourced it to a more techie friend who came back with some excellent recommendations with prices. This led me to Ebay and ended with me buying a great phone at a good price. Definitely another huge win.
High stakes decisions
I had a really high stake decision to make: Where to live? Should I move countries and go back to my home country? Or, should I choose another country like France?
Emotional Trauma
I had expected a quick painless process but I was wrong. My friends were honest, open and kind enough not only to point out the many pitfalls in my plans but to also offer practical solutions. They were also brave enough to talk about me as a person and my behaviour/personality traits that I really needed to address before moving on, like being a bit too naive and trusting.
It wasn’t easy for me and it wasn’t easy for them either. At first they were reluctant to open up because they didn’t want to hurt my feelings. It takes courage to talk about the elephant in the room.
On the first day that we discussed my options, my friend gave me a staggeringly honest piece of advice. I couldn’t ignore it, I had failed to follow my own very basic sensible advice, which is to solve the right problem! I went to bed tossing and turning and realised that I really did need to take a fresh approach to my life and reconsider things. I had been focusing on winning the battle instead of winning the war.
On the second day, things got a little deeper but it was only after I gave them express reassurance that I wouldn’t take anything personally or hold it against them that they really opened up.
They were honest enough to admit that for their own personal reasons they didn’t want me to leave the country and as such they did have a bias. However, once everyone was able to acknowledge their own biases and personal feelings we were able to move on and talk about things in a constructive and objective way. Which turned out to be very liberating.
The end result:
New acceptable options came up and as a result I’m not going anywhere just yet. Instead, I’m going to be busy with thoroughly researching the new possibilities. But before I even start on doing that it’s back to the drawing board to really get clear on everything and to try looking at things from a bigger perspective not just a part.
Was it easy? No.
Was it worth doing? Yes.
Do I feel like I’ve been manipulated in any way? No.
Am I happy with the lack of decision on my choices? Yes.
Would I recommend this process? Overall yes.
Final Thoughts
I think if you are going to try this decision making process you should be aware of the potential biases people may have. You should also be prepared for the fact that they don’t like the choices you have presented and may offer their own alternative suggestions. So you will have to decide in advance whether you will be open to new suggestions or whether you want a decision only on your choices.
Remember at the end of the day this is just a way to move you out of decision paralysis and just like me you might find that once that has been achieved new doors will open.
Live Strong Love & Prosper
If you enjoyed this you may also like some of my other articles
How to Make the most of your Negativity
3 Steps You Must Take Now to Secure Your Future
