This Is What an Orgasm Feels Like

Describing the indescribable

How do you describe a feeling that’s nothing but pure pleasure?

My husband tried recently. He told me he experiences two different types of orgasms.

One he describes as a sort of tense orgasm. His muscles will start to flex and he’ll feel almost as if the orgasm is pushing itself through him.

The other kind is more serene. He feels it coming on more gradually and then it’s as if the orgasm spills smoothly out of him. He’ll come in a way that feels relaxed and natural, almost like he’s letting go of the pleasure and releasing it from his body.

He’s fond of both, but that second type is his favorite one to experience. It leaves him feeling more physically fulfilled.

I found his descriptions fascinating, and it got me wondering how I would describe my orgasms.

A while back, I decided to catalog every type of orgasm I have for an episode of my podcast.

I came up with twelve different ones and did my best to explain what made each of them unique.

I talked about nipple orgasms and squeezing orgasms. I covered G-spot orgasms, clitoral orgasms, and anal orgasms. And I confessed to my weirdest one: laughing orgasms.

What I didn’t do, though, is give a lot of detail about what having those orgasms feels like — except to say that some were weaker and others were stronger.

I didn’t try to do further than that because it was so intimidating. I had no idea how I was supposed to describe something so indescribable.

I know they feel different and do different things to me. I just had no idea how I could put any of that into words.

But hearing my husband describe the two ways he comes inspired me to try.

It’s still difficult to explain exactly how any orgasm feels. I’m not sure there’s any language that can do it justice. It’s one of those things you do have to experience for yourself. But I wanted to see if I could come close, so I’ve done my best to paint a picture of what an orgasm feels like — at least for me.

Ruined Orgasms

A ruined orgasm is one that doesn’t quite get to finish. I usually get these in one of four ways.

They happen when my husband is doing all the right things with his fingers or his tongue. It all feels right and if he just doesn’t change a damn thing, I can get a burst of pleasure. Except he does change a damn thing — he switches things up just as I’m about to come and I don’t get the orgasm I was building up to.

It’s also what I get from edging mishaps. If my husband pulls away too late — not quickly enough to deny me the orgasm but not so slowly that he actually follows through with it — I get a ruined one.

I can get one from keeping my vibrator on a weak setting for too long. By the time I reach down to increase the vibration speed, it’s too late. I’m already coming but not nearly as hard as I should be.

And it’s usually the kind of orgasm I get from weaker types of stimulation. Nipple orgasms and the ones I get from having my hips or my sides squeezed the right way are almost always ruined orgasms.

Basically, a ruined orgasm is an orgasm that misses the mark. And that’s exactly how it feels. It’s like I get right to the edge of an orgasm, skip over the pleasurable parts, and only experience the aftershocks of the orgasm.

It’s a pulsing, throbbing sensation that doesn’t feel bad but doesn’t feel great, either.

Mostly, it’s a frustrating experience. It leaves me wanting another orgasm, but it’s like it confuses my clit because it’s usually really hard to achieve another one.

Quiet Orgasms

Quiet orgasms are the ones that shut me the fuck up.

I’ll be very vocal right up to the point where I reach my peak. As soon as I feel it hit, I can’t get a word out. Every sound I try to make gets caught in my throat.

These are very long, incredibly strong, and powerfully intense orgasms. They’re also highly physical. I tense up. I grip the sheets. I almost forget to breathe.

These are the orgasms I tend to call mind-blowing, because I literally feel like my mind has been blown. My brain goes blank. I can’t speak. I’m paralyzed by the pleasure, like my whole body has been taken over by the orgasm and I’m just its puppet.

Orgasms at the Edge

Some orgasms are so shy and reluctant it’s like they’re not sure they want to work their way through me.

When I get one of those, it’s like my body is refusing to let me come. I’m at the edge of a climax, but I can’t quite reach it.

Having that much pleasure dangling so tantalizingly close puts me in a real state.

During that prolonged buildup, I get highly sexually frustrated while also getting extremely horny. I get flustered and sweaty. My heart beats faster and I start running out of breath. I feel a little dizzy because I have trouble getting enough oxygen. My whole body tenses and shakes.

I become so desperate for pleasure that I would do just about anything for a release.

But once I do get that release, it’s worth all the effort it took to get it.

When I’m finally over the edge, it’s simply amazing. It’s a powerful orgasm that feels like warmth is radiating through me.

Once it’s done, I immediately feel hot all over and drained of all my energy.

These orgasms are the ones that leave me feeling like I’ve been through an extreme workout. I get sore almost everywhere from all the tensing, but I feel it especially in my abs and my legs, sometimes for a day or two.

Sneaky Orgasms

Sometimes, my orgasm catches me completely off guard. I’ll be enjoying some foreplay or some great sex and I’ll come out of the blue, without feeling any of the usual things that lead up to it.

Sneaky orgasms are really enjoyable, but not in the same way other orgasms are. They’re not very strong and the pleasure I get from them isn’t intense, but because it comes on so suddenly the quick rush of hormones leaves me feeling giddy and giggly.

Even though they’re fairly weak, I still cherish my sneaky orgasms. It’s sort of like finding a five dollar bill at the bottom of your purse — it’s not much but it makes you feel really good because it was so unexpected.

Rowdy Orgasms

Some orgasms make me scream, yell, and swear so loudly my husband has to cover my mouth to make sure I don’t wake anyone up. If his hand is a little too busy for that, I have to shove my face in a pillow because there’s no other way for me to stop making so much noise.

These rowdy orgasms are intense, powerful, and strong. I feel them starting deep inside me and then the pleasure radiates outward, like it’s washing over my body like a heavy wave.

I tend to get these from G-spot stimulation, jackhammering sex, and deep penetration. Something about the way those hit me inside turns my volume right up to ten.

Swearing Orgasms

Swearing orgasms don’t make me shout but they do turn me into a motormouth.

As soon as I start to come, I swear on repeat. I just keep saying the same thing over and over until the orgasm lets go of me.

I get to curse a real blue streak, too, because these are usually really long climaxes. They’re slow and prolonged — they take a long time to build up, a long time to get through, and a long time to come down from.

It’s an orgasm that doesn’t spike, the pleasure just climbs steadily and then comes back down gradually. And it feels so good that I lose control over what I’m saying.

Please Sir, Can I Come Some More?

Some orgasms are just plain weak. They’re not ruined orgasms — I get to ride them out from start to finish — but they’re still don’t leave me satisfied.

They feel good, but the buildup to them is brief and the orgasm is a quick and short burst of pleasure. More importantly, they don’t give me the same rush of hormones I get from other orgasms.

It’s an orgasm that feels like it’s missing something. I’m left craving the hormonal hit I normally get when I come. Once it’s over, I’m very horny and determined to keep trying for a real climax.

Orgasmic Emotional Roller Coasters

Some orgasms take you for an emotional ride. It feels like you hit a huge emotional peak when you’re in the middle of the orgasm and then you come crashing down as soon as it’s over.

Skyrocketing and bottoming out like that provokes really strong emotional reactions. For me, these always end with me laughing uncontrollably or sobbing. For other women, it can leave them feeling sad, angry, or guilty.

The orgasm itself is usually explosive, full-bodied, and incredibly pleasurable. But then comes the crash. You come down from that high way too quickly and land in a very different feeling. For me, it feels like I’ve been dropped.

I’ve come to terms with my laughing orgasms and have even learned to embrace them. Crying orgasms aren’t as enjoyable, but they’ve got their place too. They’re cathartic. After I’ve been through one, I feel like I’ve purged myself of bad emotions, like I’ve let go of a feeling that was clinging to me.

Bursting out in tears is a weird reaction to coming, but I always feel better and lighter afterwards, like I’ve processed something that was weighing me down.

Enjoy Them All

One of the fascinating things about orgasms is how different they are from one another.

It’s tempting to rank them and try to aim for the biggest ones, but I haven’t found that to be a great sex strategy. As much as I’d love to get rid of ruined orgasms and only experience quiet orgasms, it’s just not going to happen.

The kind of orgasm you have depends on so many different factors. Not just what parts of your body get stimulated and how, but also how your body is feeling that day, what kind of mental state you’re in, if you’re deep in fantasy or really grounded in the moment, if your partner is grunting or moaning in a way that sounds really honest, if you’re extra aroused or just aroused enough, and so many other things.

Deliberately trying to achieve a specific kind of orgasm is mostly pointless and usually ends in disappointment.

It’s better to just get frisky in whatever way feels natural. Play around, explore, give and receive all sorts of stimulation, and see what happens.

You’ll come in all sorts of different ways, and that’s part of the fun. Embrace variety and enjoy all the orgasms you can. Even if you’re like my husband and just have the two.

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