This is the reason for most of our problems

It is nothing but your belief system

What if I told you that your core limiting beliefs are the cause of 98% of your problems? The reason is that what we believe affects how we feel. How we feel affects how we act. And how we act determines how much we grow. This is why you should be aware of your beliefs and make them better.

What are limiting beliefs?

Limiting beliefs are those strong, deep convictions that hold us back. They are usually strong ideas we have about the world and ourselves.

There’s a reason why they’re called “core beliefs.” Because they shape who we are and how we act around other people.

These things are deeply anchored in our minds and affect how we think and act.

How are limiting beliefs formed?

We are all born with a fresh internal space. As we grow up, we pick up the ideas and labels, both good and bad, that were either modeled for us or imposed on us. It could be either those who raised us, mostly parents, or our environment.

Since the cave ages, humans have been programmed to look out for and retain bad things for their survival needs.

Thus, it is in our nature to pick up and securely store all the negative experiences rather than the positive ones that we have faced in our lives.

This, in the long run, builds a strong foundational network of limiting beliefs that hugely influence our identity.

Why is limiting belief the reason for our problems?

This belief system develops strongly in childhood and becomes deeply entrenched in our unconscious. As we become adults, this system hugely impacts how we perceive, think, feel, and behave.

It becomes the lens through which we view reality.

Our belief system influences our basic emotional channel, impacting key factors like basic trust and self-esteem. It becomes a problem when we react based on our beliefs.

We develop strategies to either validate or invalidate these beliefs, thus forming our self-defense mechanisms. These, in turn, influence both how we create and how we react to our problems.

The common limiting beliefs that we come across

Different people may hold different limiting beliefs. I could not make a complete list of limiting beliefs. Here are the most common patterns that I have come across:

1. Everyone must like me.

I struggled with this thought for a long time. As a result, I lost my authenticity several times and left feeling inadequate when anybody opposed or criticized me.

2. I must excel in everything to be meaningful.

This is the reason why someone tries to be extremely perfect. This belief makes one think in black and white and when they lose something, they end up feeling like nobody.

3. I am a bad person if I make mistakes.

Mistakes are inevitable. If you beat yourself up every time you make a mistake, then it is going to affect your mental health seriously.

4. Others should do their best to make me happy.

A lot of people believe that others should make them happy and will punish them if they don’t. This could cost valuable relationships and our inner peace.

5. I want everything to go my way.

There is so much that is beyond our control. Trying to control everything becomes stressful in the long run. It helps to focus on what you can control and leave the rest to go with the flow.

6. My emotions are illnesses that I can’t control.

Remember this: Emotions are not illnesses that need to be cured; they are a part of who we are.

Yes, we might not have power over our emotions but we do have power over how we respond.

7. I am content with my life, even though I do not give back.

This is so untrue and sadly, many believe it under the pretext of freedom.

When you are living for the sole reason of making yourself happy, it may seem rosy at first. But trust me, you will start questioning your purpose until you find ways to give back something to this world.

8. The way I act and think now is because of things that happened to me in the past.

Most of us have bitter past experiences to remember. It could influence how we see things in the present. But blaming them for everything means we are still in the past, acting like victims.

Tip to come out of this rut: We can stop blaming our parents and take responsibility for our lives from now on. Trust me, it was so effective when I shifted my mindset this way.

9. My future will be the same as it was in the past; nothing will change.

It may seem like this when we have undergone something unimaginable in the past. This belief makes us feel stuck in time and scared of the uncertainty.

Tip: When you catch yourself thinking this way, ask yourself, “Do you know for sure? Is there evidence for this thought?”

10. I shouldn’t have to experience pain, sadness, or discomfort.

Mindset shift here: Negative feelings are helpful as they guide us to focus on what needs to be taken care of. Also, they are inevitable.

11. Someone needs to be responsible for me.

This could be like always waiting for somebody to take care of us and, as a result, always feeling unsatisfied with life.

The hard truth is that nobody is going to take responsibility for us, not even our parents. They might be there for us, but we ought to find our way.

Being aware of your beliefs and their impacts solves half the problem. Because you will be more aware the next time you feel triggered.

Continuous practice of self-awareness and healing lets you shift these beliefs towards a helpful one.

Make sure to follow for more on shifting negative beliefs and healing the inner child.