Summary

Leonard Tillerman discusses how brain fog, a side effect of his cancer treatment, halts his writing process, and how he learns to cope with it by embracing rest and self-care, leading to renewed productivity.

Abstract

In a personal essay, Leonard Tillerman shares his experience with brain fog, a cognitive impairment that disrupts his writing routine due to his ongoing battle with cancer. Initially, Tillerman struggled to push through the fog, resulting in frustration and unproductive writing sessions. However, he discovered that accepting the condition and allowing himself time to recover through activities like walking, weightlifting, and spending quality time with loved ones, not only alleviated the fog but also returned him to writing with increased vigor and enthusiasm. He advises other writers to listen to their bodies and recognize when to step back and practice self-compassion, as it can lead to a refreshed perspective and a more fulfilling return to their craft.

Opinions

Tillerman believes in the benefits of writing through pain, viewing it as a path to increased productivity and emotional depth.
He acknowledges that brain fog is the only obstacle that completely prevents him from writing.
Tillerman initially approached brain fog with stubborn resistance, which only led to increased frustration.
He found that embracing the fog by engaging in non-writing activities was more effective in overcoming it than fighting it.
Tillerman suggests that occasional breaks from writing, prompted by self-awareness and kindness, can rejuvenate a writer's passion and productivity.
He emphasizes the importance of recognizing when to push through and when to step back, suggesting that this balance is crucial for long-term success in writing.

This Is The One Thing That Will Stop My Writing In Its Tracks!

And how I manage to escape its grasp.

Not too long ago, I wrote an article about the benefits of writing through our pain. The main idea was that by doing so, increased productivity and an unexpected depth of emotion could be the result. This would, in essence, turn the pain into a healing journey.

I still stand solidly behind that theory. I realize it does not work for everyone, but it certainly does for me.

All that being said, there is one thing that will stop my writing cold.

Dead in its tracks.

The dreaded brain fog!

This troublesome foe returned yesterday and I could not write a single word. My 50-day writing streak came to a screeching halt. Not only could I not write a story, but my engagement with others was nullified as well.

The fog had descended and held me tightly within its grasp. The result was a cloud of confusion and the complete inability to think clearly or make any type of decision.

To use a sports analogy… I was benched!

Brain fog is actually the only thing that has the capacity to take me out of the game. I can pretty much write through anything else.

Not this though.

While it is not painful, this fog makes any type of activity that requires thought or concentration basically impossible. It is cognitive in nature and is a very frustrating experience!

It is something that my surgeon told me to look out for as one of the main side effects of my battle with cancer. For whatever reason, the recovery process is occasionally marred by this oppressive fog. It can last hours, days, or weeks, and I am at its complete mercy.

Which takes me to today.

I am sure it has not escaped your notice by now that I am writing and engaging again. This latest round of brain fog has decided to have some mercy on me and dissipate back into the depths from where it came.

While I am thankful and relieved, I also believe how I chose to react to all of this made the difference.

It is my nature to always fight back against things. I have had my fair share of knocks in life and have learned to never stay down without a fight. That is just how I am wired.

Previous bouts of brain fog would see me sit at my writing desk for hours on end with absolutely no results. I would sit and stare blankly ahead as I fruitlessly battled the clouds of confusion.

I absolutely refused to give up until my usual “quitting time” had arrived. All that I managed to produce in the end was a boatload of frustration and anger.

Why the Hell couldn’t I think?

Deep down I knew it was the cancer, but that did not alleviate my aggravation. A losing strategy all the way around.

This time I did the exact opposite.

I embraced it!

Instead of stubbornly knocking my head against the wall, I decided to show myself some kindness and compassion. I took all of this as the perfect opportunity to step back and take a break.

I went for a walk with my dog on the nature trails.

I lifted weights for the first time since my cancer surgery.

I went for a drive with my beloved wife and took her out to dinner.

All the exact opposite of what I would normally do! And instead of being left with feelings of anger, frustration and resentment, I was filled with pure contentment and happiness.

So why am I telling you all this?

The odds are pretty high that you are not impacted by the devastating effects of brain fog that come from cancer treatment. Lucky you!

However, you likely get exceptionally tired and completely lack the motivation to complete your writing at times.

That happens to everyone, and you can usually work through it. In fact, in most cases, I would recommend that this is exactly what you should do.

You need to tune in to what your body is telling you though.

Occasionally you need to be kind to yourself and step away. Give your head a shake and try something new. Afterward, it is quite likely that you will return to your writing with renewed passion, enthusiasm, and energy.

It is difficult for us to stop our hard work and take time for ourselves. It may go against our very nature. It could be just what the doctor ordered, however.

Sometimes you just need to embrace the opposite.

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