This Is The Best Way To Avoid Fights Over Money When Travelling With A Partner

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ner. I didn’t say anything or even leave. I knew something was wrong with that situation (and me, for putting myself in that situation) but not exactly what.At the end of the night, we went for a walk, and he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. And I said no, thank you. I think that night I said I didn’t want to see him again over a text message. Then the next morning, he asked me why and the first thing I told him was: you didn’t even pay for my part of the dinner, and it was his idea to go out for dinner (and he was also a bad kisser). But being 100% honest with you, if he had paid for dinner, I would be more inclined to say yes to going to his house with him. (That’s how sick I was, and I am not proud of that, but this was the reality at the time.)At the time, I wasn’t able to recognise this pattern, but today I can. And I also know that first of all, don’t waste your time with a man you don’t like, and second, even if a man pays for everything, you don’t owe him anything. It’s his choice to take you out (if he asked you out), and he shouldn’t be expecting anything in return (especially sex). OK, I think this story illustrates pretty well how I used to be.Now, let’s talk about how I now deal with money with my partner and especially when we travel.First, to have a healthier money relationship overall, I needed to dis-attach my personal value from money. I don’t value more or less because I have more or less money, and people can’t buy me with money any more (because most of us are selling ourselves short all the time). In a romantic relationship, my partner and I are equal, and money is only a tool to provide us with experiences and material things, not a source of power or control.At home, at the moment, we share all the household bills 50%/50% because my partner needed to spend more money when we moved together (he bought the sofa, the bed, and our television in the living room). But we are discussing sharing the bills proportionally to our salaries in the future. I will probably write about this.When travelling, we get a Monzo Card, and we deposit there how much we want to spend on a trip, which is also shared 50%/50%. On this Monzo Card, there is only the money we are spe

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nding on the trip, including eating out or tickets to tourist attractions. Usually, when we travel, we walk a lot, but if we need to get the tube or a bus, we would also use the Monzo Card. Any personal shopping is an individual responsibility, and a personal card should be used for that.From the moment we leave our house to travel, our expenses are taken from this Monzo Card, and there aren’t any arguments about who is paying what. If there is any money left in the card when we are back, this is split by half and transferred to our personal accounts. Usually, for the hotel, we also split 50%/50%, and we are responsible for our travel tickets to the destination.Because of the pandemic, my boyfriend and I didn’t have the chance to go travelling a lot. We went to Cambridge in September/2020 and to Liverpool in September/2021, and both times we used the Monzo Card without any problems. I can’t wait to test it when we travel abroad and more often.The Monzo Card works for us because we are both taking responsibility when it comes to our expenses as a couple. I don’t expect him to spend more money, and neither does him. It also works because we communicate about money beforehand. We agree on how much we want to spend on the trip before leaving our house, so the trip doesn’t become a financial problem for either of us. Communication when it comes to money as a couple is everything.During the trip, we can keep control of how much we are spending and what we can afford or not. There are no surprises, only enjoyment.I know I still need to overcome many money issues, but I am proud of myself for coming up with this technique. It was me that presented this to my partner, and he liked the idea.Before this relationship, travelling with a partner was always stressful because I never knew who was paying for what and what was expected from me. And at the time, I wasn’t so careful with my personal finances and confident to talk about my money issues.Now I know exactly what I can afford, and most important, what I WANT to afford. And my partner knows this. Now, we are on the same page when it comes to travelling and enjoying our two for one cocktails on a city break.</article></body>

Because you want to enjoy your trip together, don’t you?

Excuse me if you already know what I am about to tell you in this article, but since I started using this technique. I have never had any more fights with a partner when travelling together because of money.

My first article to get curated on Medium was this one: How To Have a Good Money Relationship With Your Partner, and I felt it was because it’s a really valuable article. You can learn a lot from it. I still don’t have the perfect money relationship when it comes to dating and romantic relationships, but I am much better than I was a few years ago.

I remember going on a dinner date with a guy that I had very little interest in, as I couldn’t even remember his name, just his nickname, and when the bill came, he asked to split. It was £29.99 for my part. For some people, maybe this is not a lot of money, but for me, it was at the time, and it’s even more today.

I felt so shitty for spending this money with a guy I didn’t really like and that could afford it. He worked in IT and was always travelling around Europe, and even more, it was his idea to go for dinner. I didn’t say anything or even leave. I knew something was wrong with that situation (and me, for putting myself in that situation) but not exactly what.

At the end of the night, we went for a walk, and he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. And I said no, thank you. I think that night I said I didn’t want to see him again over a text message. Then the next morning, he asked me why and the first thing I told him was: you didn’t even pay for my part of the dinner, and it was his idea to go out for dinner (and he was also a bad kisser). But being 100% honest with you, if he had paid for dinner, I would be more inclined to say yes to going to his house with him. (That’s how sick I was, and I am not proud of that, but this was the reality at the time.)

At the time, I wasn’t able to recognise this pattern, but today I can. And I also know that first of all, don’t waste your time with a man you don’t like, and second, even if a man pays for everything, you don’t owe him anything. It’s his choice to take you out (if he asked you out), and he shouldn’t be expecting anything in return (especially sex). OK, I think this story illustrates pretty well how I used to be.

Now, let’s talk about how I now deal with money with my partner and especially when we travel.

First, to have a healthier money relationship overall, I needed to dis-attach my personal value from money. I don’t value more or less because I have more or less money, and people can’t buy me with money any more (because most of us are selling ourselves short all the time). In a romantic relationship, my partner and I are equal, and money is only a tool to provide us with experiences and material things, not a source of power or control.

At home, at the moment, we share all the household bills 50%/50% because my partner needed to spend more money when we moved together (he bought the sofa, the bed, and our television in the living room). But we are discussing sharing the bills proportionally to our salaries in the future. I will probably write about this.

When travelling, we get a Monzo Card, and we deposit there how much we want to spend on a trip, which is also shared 50%/50%. On this Monzo Card, there is only the money we are spending on the trip, including eating out or tickets to tourist attractions. Usually, when we travel, we walk a lot, but if we need to get the tube or a bus, we would also use the Monzo Card. Any personal shopping is an individual responsibility, and a personal card should be used for that.

From the moment we leave our house to travel, our expenses are taken from this Monzo Card, and there aren’t any arguments about who is paying what. If there is any money left in the card when we are back, this is split by half and transferred to our personal accounts. Usually, for the hotel, we also split 50%/50%, and we are responsible for our travel tickets to the destination.

Because of the pandemic, my boyfriend and I didn’t have the chance to go travelling a lot. We went to Cambridge in September/2020 and to Liverpool in September/2021, and both times we used the Monzo Card without any problems. I can’t wait to test it when we travel abroad and more often.

The Monzo Card works for us because we are both taking responsibility when it comes to our expenses as a couple. I don’t expect him to spend more money, and neither does him. It also works because we communicate about money beforehand. We agree on how much we want to spend on the trip before leaving our house, so the trip doesn’t become a financial problem for either of us. Communication when it comes to money as a couple is everything.

During the trip, we can keep control of how much we are spending and what we can afford or not. There are no surprises, only enjoyment.

I know I still need to overcome many money issues, but I am proud of myself for coming up with this technique. It was me that presented this to my partner, and he liked the idea.

Before this relationship, travelling with a partner was always stressful because I never knew who was paying for what and what was expected from me. And at the time, I wasn’t so careful with my personal finances and confident to talk about my money issues.

Now I know exactly what I can afford, and most important, what I WANT to afford. And my partner knows this. Now, we are on the same page when it comes to travelling and enjoying our two for one cocktails on a city break.