This is How Writing Scared Us to Death
Set new expectations, frame new perspectives, and beat the fear of writing.
People place great expectations on us.
We feel the pressure. We feel that we must not fail in fear that we might turn down people and they will hate us for that.
Then we make this all-or-nothing idea in writing. We have to get it or we get nothing at all. There is simply noting in between.
We postpone our draft. We look at a blank page waiting for some magic to happen to come up with a burst of great ideas. No matter what sentence we write, we never feel it is perfect so we throw it away.
The frustration, the shame, and the embarrassment turn writing into a horrible hustle. So we find that distraction appealing.
Is it true that people are looking at us?
Are we sure that it is not just our hallucination?
Not people, but you
Do we really believe that we will turn into the next Tim Denning tomorrow?
Do we really believe that every piece of our work is going to be perfect and that people will give an award to us?
Do we believe that just a simple act of writing is a waste of time if the work turns out to be bad?
You are not going to be the next star on medium. You are not going to write the best article in your life. You are not going to turn your life upside down just because of writing.
It is going to be a shit draft you write, and It’s going to be a silent act that no one cares about, at first.
This is what we should expect.
We will expect every writing from now on to be writing. Just write. Start without self-judgment. And show your vulnerability so that people can critique it so that you can grow from it.
Do not hide in a cave where you can be right all the time because we all can be wrong. And we should be wrong so tomorrow we can be better.
What if I am scared?
It feels scary every time to write. Scary that people will come to hunt you for what you say. It scares us every time that we will be wrong and that the beliefs we held all this time will get challenged by a stranger.
It feels like we gaze at the darkness where something is sitting there and it feels like a thrill to have a chance to convince ourselves that maybe something there might not be bad.
And it feels liberated that it is true all along that it’s not bad.
From scared to thrill, from thrill to curious. You should write as if you are a child who is curious about the shape of a cloud. What might be next? What will come to me next? What challenges they will bring next?
“Study hard what interests you the most in the most undisciplined, irreverent and original manner possible.” ― Richard Feynmann
Fear no more.
Come out to let the light of a day touch your skin and feel it with me knowing that you will be scared at first, knowing that no one will hear you and that’s fine, and knowing that, with all of the fear, you can still be curious and you can still write.
But I am not a writer
You are not a writer because you write a great piece. You are a writer because you write without giving up.
Today people will find you here. Tomorrow people will find you here. And the next day people will still find you here. Writing.
That should be your expectation.
I am not a great writer. I am not even an experienced writer here. But do I let this fact stop me? Everyone has to start somewhere. And your idea of being a great writer should not be your aim at all. for this whole idea has stopped me to write for the past 4 years.
It has done this to me.
It must not do this to you.
“You don’t start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap and thinking it’s good stuff, and then gradually you get better at it. That’s why I say one of the most valuable traits is persistence.” ― Octavia E. Butler
Do not expect it to be good, do expect it to be bad so that you can write it with no restraint. Let people hear what you say. Let them see how you can help.
What if I fail?
Then if it fails, you fail it with all your deed, not in your head. then you live up to the fact that you write and fail no matter what the reason that fails might be.
You will have a tale to tell to people about what doesn’t work. Maybe they can make you realize what work? Maybe they can point out what is missing there?. Maybe they can help you wonder if you really failed?
“Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever.” ― Lance Armstrong Sally Jenkins, Every Second Counts
When you expect to hit 10k followers, when you expect to see 100 comments, when you expect to get a dollar, then you don’t meet it, you failed. When you expect those successes, you failed.
Lower the bar. You don’t need expectations to be alive on this planet.
But if you really have to, please expect yourself to write, and write, and publish, and take critics, and learn, and grow, and move on.
This should be your new success as a writer.
You should give up
Who am I to tell you what success as a writer is like?
They build up our expectations of being a successful writer. Those writing tips and tricks and Those how-to-succeed articles. I have read them all.
And it stops me to write because there are simply many things to do, and there are many aspects to worry about. I get drowned, overwhelmed, and freeze.
One thing that pushes me to write my very first article is to leave those tips. Lay down the expectation and just write badly because I will never be ready.
Greate critics that stay in my mind tell me a lie. it seeks only a flaw in a need of perfect work.
“There is no perfection, only beautiful versions of brokenness.” ― Shannon L. Alder
I give up expectation, I give up success, and in the process, I give up failure.
Only one thing left is to write.
You don’t need to care
What is scarier is the fact that one day I will leave this world and I will never know when.
Does that mean it can come to me next 10 years? next 5 years? next year? maybe next month?
We all postpone things we want to do in the lure that we will still be alive the next day but you know within yourself that you only have this moment right?
And it is in death that I meet the truth that all things I scare, all concepts of truth I held dear to all my life is nothing.
What is the point of being scared of critics? What is the point of being scared to make mistakes? What is the point of being scared to be failed? What is the point of being scared to be wrong? What is the point of being scared of being blamed for incompetence? What is the point to postpone it further because I am not ready yet?
If I am going to die next year, then what is the whole point of being scared?
“It is not death that a man should fear, but rather he should fear never beginning to live.” — Marcus Aurelius
I will die knowing that I am not a slave of expectation, that I am not hiding in fear, that I am not live to only chase empty success, that I am not wasting time doing things that don’t bring me joy, and that I will die knowing I dare greatly doing it all.