This Is How Meaningful I Feel Today After Holding a Stranger’s Baby

We help ourselves by helping others

I feel so important right now.

I’ve just made a huge impact on a stranger’s life.

The indescribable feeling of being at the right place at the right time to help someone. To act with kindness, without expecting anything in return.

I’ve held a baby I don’t know for 2 minutes, and it’s impacting my day for the best.

Here is why.

What happened

This morning, as I exited my apartment building, a man carrying a baby and a huge bag seemed to be struggling to get his bike out of the rack (so far nothing unusual, we are in Amsterdam).

His heavy bike was trapped under another, and the alarm of the other bike started to ring (some bikes have alarms here). The man started to get agitated. His two arms weren’t enough to handle it. Luckily he had an easy baby who didn’t seem bothered by the situation.

I got closer and offered help.

The man looked surprised but gladly accepted. He wouldn’t manage without another set of limbs — unless he dropped his son on the ground. I took the blue-eyed baby in my arms, smiling and chirping. His father left his bag on the ground and could extract the bike.

This can seem insignificant, but these situations happen so rarely that it made me feel special and meaningful.

A reminder that:

• We, humans, can be kind to each other without being prompted to
• We need each other — and it starts by acknowledging when we can’t do it all on our own, and by accepting help when it’s offered

Even though I was the (s)hero there, the only fact that this situation happened restored my faith in humankind.

And it made me feel good about myself for the 3 following reasons.

1. A confirmation of what I’m doing right

Whenever I’m outside, in a public space, I pay attention to the people around me. I make eye contact and smile when they’re receptive to that.

I don’t use my phone when I’m walking on the street — I often don’t even have it with me — so that I can:

• Enjoy the song of the birds and the sunrise during my morning walk
• Be fully present in any real-life conversation I have
• Help if I hear or see anyone in a vulnerable position

I won’t lie, focusing on the offline world is easy for me. But it saddens me to see people around glued to their phones rather than showing curiosity about the real scenes around them.

When you engage with your immediate environment, you give yourself a chance to make a difference.

Here is the impact you could have when you’re not browsing, swiping, commenting:

• Help the older lady cross the street
• Stop and help the cyclist who just fell down get back up
• Compliment your neighbour on their new hairstyle

This would get you a healthy dose of happy hormones too — and a smile on your face for a while.

2. A rush of happy hormones

The kick is real.

I felt the bliss for at least one hour.

Serotonin

Serotonin increases when you feel significant, part of a group. This hormone came into play when I offered help this morning, boosting my confidence and self-esteem.

Loneliness — and the disconnection most of us felt during the pandemic — creates low serotonin levels. It’s important to be and feel part of a group, or community, to get these back to healthy levels.

To increase your serotonin levels you can:

• Volunteer. Getting involved gives you a sense of belonging.
• Develop a gratitude practice. For example journaling, or going through old pictures.

Oxytocin

Holding the baby gave me a good dose of oxytocin, the ‘hug hormone’. This interaction gave me a sense of social bonding and generosity.

It’s a hormone you don’t get enough of, for example, when you’re single or living on your own.

What you can do to increase your oxytocin levels:

• Make sure you cuddle with your loved ones
• Get a pet
• Get involved in group activities (and even better if there’s physical contact)

Happiness hormones are addictive — a good type of addiction.

You may know already what makes you feel good on a daily basis, or this article can help you understand why you feel so good after hugging your child, giving a hand to your granny, or holding the door of the elevator for someone.

Making others feel good makes us feel good too.

3. A sense of contribution

You make the world a better place by improving the lives of others.

The baby’s daddy thanked me 3 times.

He was surprised someone offered help. Surprised I didn’t have a limited amount of time ahead. Surprised I did it with a big smile.

We don’t pay attention to each other — or not enough. We believe that we can get comfort, appreciation, and connection from the online world.

Today I know I’ve made a difference, and I have the power to make another one tomorrow — If I just look around.

If you don’t know where to start, here are ways you can impact your surroundings:

• Invite your new neighbours over for a chat and a drink
• Help the staff at your favourite coffee shop by returning the cup on your way out (this is appreciated here, as the entire city is short-staffed)
• Leave a sweet or funny sticky note to your lover, friend, or mother when you leave their place (I started this with my mother a year ago, she’s kept all of them)

We’re nothing without each other.

The takeaway

Being at the right place at the right time when help is needed doesn’t happen every day. It’s a matter a chance, a coincidence.

But you can help these situations happen.

The more open you are to others, and the more willing you are to change the world around you, the more opportunities you’ll find on your way.

This is how starting the day by helping someone has helped me spend a better day too:

• I got the confirmation that I’m doing something right
• The rush of happy hormones put me in a good mood
• The incomparable feeling of making a difference

Holding this baby has made my day, I hope someone you don’t know makes yours too!