This Is How I Thrive as an Adult With ADHD (Without a Stimulant)

Years of experimentation led me here…

I’m an adult with ADHD.

I was diagnosed at age 18.

After years of wondering why life seemed easier for the other kids around me, things made a bit more sense.

I’ve spent the past 10+ years experimenting with different methods to try to manage my ADHD symptoms.

Over time, I’ve learned to thrive with ADHD. It is possible.

Everyone’s ADHD manifests differently. My biggest piece of advice would be to try to reflect on what your strengths and weaknesses are as an individual with ADHD.

This will help you brainstorm ways to set up your life in a way that works with your ADHD, not against it.

Meditation

I started meditating back in college and have made it a daily practice.

It’s helped me manage my ADHD because it allows me to recognize distractions. It also helps me avoid procrastination.

Some of the challenges related to my ADHD revolved around fear. As a child, I’d sit down to do homework, but couldn’t actually focus.

My mind would wander in a million different directions.

I think a lot of this was related to angst or fear that I couldn’t conquer the material. What if I couldn’t do well in this class? What if I fail on a test?

Meditation has helped me learn to identify fleeting thoughts and be okay with them.

Meditation has brought more peace into my life and also made me more productive.

Movement

For me, movement is crucial. I exercise almost every single day. Without getting outside or getting a workout in, I feel cooped up.

I’ve come to realize that I need to be in my body for 1–2 hours each day.

These are the outlets that work for me:

• Jiu jitsu
• Hiking in nature
• Lifting weights
• Sports

The key is to find what exercise you genuinely enjoy. It could be anything. Get creative here. Dancing, walking, tai chi, pilates, or anything else that requires some movement.

In the past few years, I’ve become obsessed with jiu jitsu. Jiu jitsu is particularly great for people with ADHD.

At a jiu jitsu class, you have to sit still. You need to listen to your instructor while they demonstrate the techniques. There are so many intricate details and movements that you need to remember. When you are sparring with others, you are required to be present in the moment.

There are also plenty of ADHD people in the jiu jitsu community for whatever reason. It’s refreshing to be around others who are so fully themselves. There are corky individuals who own their ADHD and figure out how to live their life with it. I love being around their creative energy.

Daily exercise helps me clear my mind and get my excess energy out.

I feel noticeably different on the days that I don’t exercise. I’m worse off in terms of mood and productivity.

Do not disturb mode

I almost always have my phone on vibrate with do not disturb mode turned on. I don’t want to be getting constant pings and dings throughout my day.

My attention is hard enough to manage as it is. Why would I make things harder on myself?

I’ll sometimes put my phone 10 feet away from me or in another room.

When I’m working, I try to be fully focused. When I’m taking a break, I’ll allow myself to use my phone and check on the things I missed.

Sleep

My ADHD is worse when I am sleep-deprived. There’s no getting around it.

The difference between 6 hours of sleep and 8 hours of sleep is drastic for me.

In an ideal world, I’d be getting ~9 hours of sleep each night given how often and hard I train.

When I’m low on sleep, I find it much harder to manage my emotions and resist temptations.

The distractions are that much more alluring. And everything just feels worse.

To be at my best, I need to prioritize my sleep.

Monitoring my environments

I have come to realize that I get overstimulated. I didn’t know about this ADHD symptom until recently.

In crowded places, I tend to get overwhelmed. I’m an avid people-watcher. I fixate on sounds, sights, and smells.

It’s as if everything’s coming at me all at once and I can’t do anything about it.

I describe it to others as listening to a radio where every station is playing at full volume.

I don’t exactly have control of the volume dials. If I could, I would turn up the volume on one station and turn down the volume on the rest of them.

But I don’t really have control over that. So, I just get a bunch of noise.

While out and about, I’ll often be people-watching, eavesdropping, or generally picking up on the things around me. Sometimes, I fixate on things.

It can be tough for people I’m with because it’s like I’m there but I’m not there.

I’ve learned to realize that I might not ever love being in loud, crowded places.

I try to think about my environment and how it relates to my ADHD.

I focus on these questions:

• Where do I feel most comfortable?
• Where do I get my best work done?
• What places prevent me from getting work done?
• How can I put myself into the right environments at the right times to accomplish what I want to?

Nutrition

I’ve noticed a pretty direct correlation between my diet and my ADHD symptoms.

When I’m eating lots of sugar and refined carbohydrates, I feel like my energy is all over the place.

I try to avoid sugar, alcohol, and highly processed foods.

I also try to eat a balanced diet of proteins, carbohydrates, and fats. I aim to get plenty of fruits and vegetables.

I overindulge from time to time. That’s life.

I try to focus on what I’m eating 80% of the time. If I’m eating mostly nourishing, healthy foods 80% of the time, then I feel good.

I want to help manage my ADHD symptoms through my diet, but I also don’t want to become too restrictive.

Timers

I use timers for everything. Timers for cooking, doing laundry, doing focused work, and more.

I also rely on alarms for appointments I don’t want to miss. If I have a 2 pm Zoom meeting, I’ll set an alarm for 1:55 pm so that I absolutely won’t forget it.

Timers and alarms make it so that I don’t forget nearly as many things.

Systems for planning and tracking my life

Several years back, I read Getting Things Done by David Allen.

One of the core ideas is that your brain is for thinking and processing information rather than for remembering things.

I try to apply this by using apps and tools to help get things out of my head.

I’ve experimented with Trello and I use Google Calendar to keep track of my appointments.

The specific tools aren’t very important. What is important is that you have some way to track things.

Get it out of your head. If you have an important assignment coming up, write it down. If you have a work deadline, write it down.

I write down shopping lists, daily tasks and chores, writing goals, and much more.

I function better when I get the nitty-gritty details out of my head. I feel way less anxious knowing that I have things tracked somewhere. This lets me reliably execute on them.

Leaning into my differences

I used to beat myself up for being different and wonder why I couldn’t just function like the other students in my class.

Now, I’ve accepted my differences. Certain things might take me twice as long to finish as the average person. I deeply struggle with doing things I don’t care about.

But I can also do plenty of things that the average person can’t. When I care about something, I can focus on it for hours on end. If it brings me satisfaction and energy, I can keep at it for far longer than most people can.

This is a process that has taken me years. And the work never stops. It’s about accepting myself for who I am, getting to know myself on a deeper level, and not being ashamed of my differences.

Creating structure for myself

In the past, I needed structure. I would schedule out my days and create 2-hour focus blocks with breaks in between.

This helped me survive as a college student. I leaned on structure to help me function.

But now, I’m experimenting with other approaches. We’ll see how it goes. I’m leaning more into my own preferences and energy levels.

If I wake up in the morning and don’t feel like writing, then I won’t. I’ll go do something else. I then come back to writing when I feel inclined to do so.

This isn’t about letting myself off the hook. I still hold myself accountable. It’s more about seeing if I can be more productive if I lean into the times when I genuinely feel like doing something.

If it doesn’t end up working for me, I’ll go back to creating more structure for myself.

Having a support system

I rely on plenty of amazing people in my life. My partner, family, extended family, close friends, teammates, mentors, coaches, therapist, psychiatrist, and more.

It’s taken me a long time to accept that it’s okay to lean on others. I used to be more proud and would rather suffer in silence. I’ve come to realize that doesn’t work for me.

It’s okay to rely on others. We need others sometimes. Without all the incredible people in my life, I wouldn’t be the person that I am today.

Medication

For ~7 years, I was on Adderall. This helped me get by in school. Medication initially made a drastic difference in my ability to survive as a student.

For the first 18 years of my life, I wasn’t interested in anything that went on in any of my classes. There might have been brief periods when I was engaged. But for the most part, I just didn’t care.

I am so grateful that I was able to channel my energy into sports.

After going on medication, I started to have an interest in some of the things going on in my classes. It was as if a switch had been flipped and I could sit still and pay attention.

It’s not just that I could pay attention it’s that I actually wanted to pay attention.

Long story short, I worked with a psychiatrist for years and was on ADHD medications.

If you want to learn more about my experience with ADHD medications, you can do so here:

I’m no longer on stimulants and have learned to do alright without them. Back when I was in school, they helped me so much. But now that I’m doing things that align closely with my interests, I don’t feel like I need something to help me focus.

I just need to do things I actually care about.

I want to be clear that I’m not giving any medical advice here. I’d suggest you work with a trained doctor or psychiatrist.

Some people thrive on medications whereas other people hate them. It’s a very personal thing.

Setting yourself up for hyperfocus

I’ve learned that I can hyperfocus. In the right setting, I can focus for 6–8 hours on end.

I need to be working on something that matters to me.

I also have to be in the right environment.

To set myself up for periods of hyperfocus, I try to clear my environment of distractions and isolate myself. That’s just how I work best.

Some people might function better in a library or coffee shop, but I prefer to be on my own.

Breaks

I’ve learned that I can get more done if I take breaks.

While hyperfocus can be incredible, it might not always be efficient.

In the past, I’ve had days where I got up early in the morning and got work done from 5 am until 1 pm. It’s exhausting. I get a ton done, but then the rest of the day is sacrificed.

I have headaches. I’m dehydrated. I don’t feel well.

Now, I generally try to work for 1–2 hours and then take 15–30 minute breaks in between. I get outside to get some fresh air. I try not to spend all my time looking at a screen.

Taking breaks allows me to make more of my days.

Embrace your passions

As someone with ADHD, I’ve learned how important it is to be honest with myself and follow my intuition.

It’s as if I walk around with a radar that tells me whether or not I care about something. It’s not entirely black and white, but it’s like having an intense filter through which I view things.

I have learned that I need to double down on the things I care about. If I try to force myself to digest things that have no meaning to me, life becomes challenging.

As a student, I had to learn how to do this.

As an adult, I get to have a bit more say in terms of how I spend my time.

To do well, I try to spend most of my time doing things I’m genuinely passionate about.

So there you have it. A long-winded exploration into what’s worked for me in trying to manage my ADHD.

I hope that this was useful. If there’s someone with ADHD or a parent of an ADHD child who could benefit from reading this, please pass it along.

I spent much of my life struggling with ADHD. I still face challenges on a daily basis.

But living with my ADHD isn’t as hard as it used to be.

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