This Is How I Stopped My Addiction
You Can, Too.
Do you have any irritating habits that you just can’t seem to quit? In my case, it’s nail-biting. This habit has been with me for as long as I can remember.
In case you don't know how annoying this habit is, let me tell you. On some days, all I did was sit in my office and bite my nails instead of working. How productive, ha? I would literally just bite my nails while thinking on a task, then go home. No work done.
The problem gets bigger
As I’ve grown older, it has become a significant issue for me. I find myself biting my nails during face-to-face meetings, online meetings, and even live lessons where I teach. Can you imagine your teacher in front of you biting her nails?
You might think that she was nervous about teaching.
One time, a student asked me during a lesson, “Teacher, are you okay?”
The question caught me off guard. I didn’t understand why she asked until she pointed out how badly I was biting my nails and how worried I looked. I was indeed worried at that moment, but I had no idea I was displaying this to my student. That moment was terrifying for me because, of course, I would never want to transfer any negative feelings to my students.
Over the years, overcoming this habit has become an obsession for me.
My personal motto is to be the best version of myself, so I am always determined to improve in any area where I can.
In the past, I tried many external solutions, like bitter nail polish that tasted terrible. I even tried wearing artificial nails, which were so tough that I couldn’t bite them, but I managed to break them with my teeth anyway.
Can you imagine?
I tried so many external solutions, only to discover that the problem couldn’t be solved externally.
The Quest
I began to search for the root cause of my nail-biting habit. What was the subconscious reason behind it?
Nail-biting can be triggered by many factors, usually a trauma. People can react differently to trauma, which is an emotional response to a distressing event. I needed to identify my trauma.
As I reflected on my past memories, I pinpointed two events from my childhood that could be the cause. Both occurred around the same time, so I’m not sure which one was the true catalyst for my nail-biting habit.
In one instance, my teacher conducted a nail check at school, hitting students with a ruler if their nails weren’t clean.
One day, I forgot to clean my nails and saw a friend biting his nails in a corner before the teacher arrived. He suggested I try the same thing, and my nails were gone in five minutes. So from that moment on, I guess I learned to bite my nails if I was under pressure.
Another potential cause was accidentally seeing my father naked one night when I got up to use the bathroom. Both my father and I pretended nothing happened to avoid embarrassment, and we never spoke about it for years. You can imagine how uncomfortable that must have been.
During my research, I discovered that witnessing your parents naked can lead to nail-biting. Both of these events happened when I was around 6–7 years old.
I was thrilled to have uncovered the subconscious reasons behind my habit, but it didn’t change anything. I continued to bite my nails whenever I felt stressed, which left me feeling disappointed.
I HAD IDENTIFIED MY TRAUMA, SO WHY COULDN’T I STOP IT?
In the meantime, I continued reading self-improvement books and listening to podcasts with the mindset that once I stopped biting my nails, I would have mastered myself. This would be my crowning achievement.
Things are getting started
I’ve been interested in meditation and breathwork since I studied at university, but I hadn’t experienced a significant behavioral change in myself. I used to suffer from gastric pain during stressful moments or when I felt negative emotions. Fortunately, practicing meditation and breathwork helped me get rid of my gastric pain.
How?
I would place a phone or a book on my stomach and focus on breathing from my diaphragm, using the object as a reference to ensure I was engaging my stomach. Over time, this practice became a habit for me.
There are numerous benefits to diaphragmatic breathing, such as reducing stress, promoting relaxation, improving mental clarity, increasing lung capacity, and enhancing overall well-being.
In addition to my recovery from gastric pain and feeling calmer during meditation, I didn’t notice any major changes. However, I was definitely more relaxed overall. I realized that I wasn’t reacting to life’s challenges as intensely as before. Problems would come and go. I managed to prevent stress from taking hold of my body.
The big change!
Until 2023, meditation served primarily as a tool to help me stay calm. In early 2023, I began reading Joe Dispenza’s books and was immediately captivated. (The names of the books at the bottom.)
He discussed the immense power of the human brain, a subject I knew I needed to master in order to become the best version of myself. I quickly read and listened to his books, and as I delved deeper into his work, I began practising his meditation techniques.
I realized one of my shortcomings over the years had been the inconsistency in my meditation practice — I only meditated randomly, often at night to relax and sleep.
So I decided to meditate every morning, as this was when I felt most focused, refreshed, and clear-minded.
After consistently meditating for a few days, I noticed on the tenth day that I hadn’t bitten my nails for several days. It took me completely by surprise. I didn’t realize I had stopped biting until I saw my nails growing.
It was a monumental moment for me.
Nothing else in my life had changed, and the only recent difference was my commitment to meditating every morning.
The only recent difference was my commitment to meditating every morning.
It’s been a few months now, and I haven’t bitten my nails. I’m not sure what has changed within me, but I have a feeling that the chaos in my soul, which I hadn’t even been aware of, has been quelled.
The experience is quite magical. If you’re a nail-biter, you would understand — it’s a habit that feels impossible to control.
It’s an addiction, in my opinion, and any addiction creates a chain within the body. My personal goal was to break free from such constraints.
So here are the books I read, if you want to check them out:
You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Becoming Supernatural: How Common People Are Doing the Uncommon
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