This Eckhart Tolle Trick Ends Breakup Pain!
It works for any negative emotion.
I love falling in love. I hate breaking up.
First I get terrified at the thought of separation from a person I came to know so well. It triggers all kinds of emotions and they all come at once as if I had never experienced them before.
As if I am new to love.
Falling in love is the easy part.
Breaking up has always been difficult for me and thus I was happy to have found a trick that I tried and tested after my last breakup.
It is as simple as catching oneself in the moment of experiencing a painful thought or feeling and then applying this nifty practical trick I share below.
I added a few bonus tips at the end of this article that I tested and also included a video titled “LOVE Facts: Is Being Single Good for You?”
Thank you, Eckhart Tolle, for the help in this matter of the heart! I hope it works for all of you too.
Pain — A catalyst for growth
How far should one go?
There’s the recalling of sweet memories. Endless pity parties. Drinking more than usual — grief-stricken.
At some stage, I was thinking that I purposefully orchestrate something painful in my life to propel me forward. There might still be some of that in me at this time and I think it would be worth exploring it in another story.
As with all else, I also love passionately, deeply, and fully.
From previous experience, I thought there was no fast way out. No way of an easy transition after a breakup.
Got to ride the horse bare again.
Could take a lifetime some say.
It takes time … blah blah.
A lifetime of suffering?
I don’t think so…Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Yet there I was sitting on a train on my way to Bikram yoga in Nice, France, still playing over the same stories in my mind. I felt the pain. I was listening to a happy song and still, I was feeling the pain and I allowed myself to perpetuate it, justifying it with “it takes time” and “you should feel your feelings” nonsense.
It was then that the Eckhart Tolle talk started talking in my ear and I learned about the pain-body.
At first, it was unusual to apply this tactic and then it turned into pure liberation!
What do the statistics say about getting over someone?
According to a 2007 study by Gary W. Lewandowski Jr and Nicole M. Bizzoco, 71% of people felt better after three months post-break-up, while a 2017 survey of some 2000 people found it to be around six months.
We love to perpetuate the pain of a break-up. There is even something sensational about it. Look at celebrity break-ups like Elon Musk and Claire Boucher aka Grimes who parted in September this year. What is it about the pain that attracts us so, even if it is not our own?
I do believe irrespective of how long it takes to recover from a break-up, we learn a great deal and that we can embrace our processes with compassion towards ourselves.
“By all means marry: if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. “ — Socrates
The pain-body
What is it?
Simply put it is that part of you that gets defined by you as pain. It is a stream of data.
According to Eckhart Tolle, we have our individual pain-body, which comprises of our personal pain and we also have the collective pain-body which comprises of ours and others, for example, the female pain-body can include collective pain from oppression or abuse and so on.
As we are multidimensional we can tap into these streams of data.
Eckhart’s method to overcoming breakup pain
Can be applied to all negative feelings
- Catch yourself in the act, i.e. bring awareness to the negative emotion as it arises. When you catch yourself with that negative thought or feeling, say “Stop, gotcha, come here you little bugger!”.
- Imagine stepping out from your body or out of your life and looking at this feeling. This is where you IDENTIFY the pain-body. Not identify with. You identify it. You look at it from a distance. That’s when it starts losing its power. You don’t judge it. You just observe it.
- Then connect the thoughts you are having at this time to this pain-body.
- Acknowledge that this pain-body is a part of you at this moment, yet it is not you.
- Acknowledge that the thoughts connected to this pain-body are generated by the pain-body and that it is not true. It is not FACT. For example, “He just didn’t love me that much”, “He must have been cheating on me”, “I will never find someone again”, “what if I am making a mistake”. The pain-body knows what thoughts to feed you to trick you. It knows your weakness. Remember: You have been feeding your pain-body since you were born. If you are comfortable with it, it does not mean it is your friend. It merely means that you are comfortable with something which does not serve you any longer.
- Now let it go.
- Congratulations! You have identified and triumphed over your pain body.
- Wait! It’s not over, be ready for the pain-body to trick you again into believing it is real. It will come at an unexpected time. It will catch you off guard. Like a thief in the night. It will come with the next layer, pushing a different button, for example, “well he did not respect you, he lied so many times, so that must mean that you do not respect yourself or maybe you made it all up, you are insecure, you will never find someone again”…and off you go again into a downward spiral, yet wait! Remember. THIS IS NOT FACT. This is the mechanism of the pain-body. It knows what to use to make you feel the pain. I know it is tempting to doubt ourselves on this one, yet we got to keep trying until we see it for what it is. IT IS PHYSICS — NOTHING MORE.
- Practice makes perfect. Keep trying until you become so good at it that you will not sit with any painful feelings for long. If you struggle with this, feel free to reach out to me via email.
BONUS TIPS
From me to you
- Look at your definitions. Write them out and if they don’t make sense any longer, let them go. This may include definitions of love, breakup, pain, and so on.
- Know that we are all connected. Separation is an illusion. Do not give in to the power of illusion.
- It is ok to want what you want. If you prefer a different vibration, in other words, if something was no longer working for you in your relationship and you tried your best, then it is ok to move on. It is the most loving thing you can do for the other person is to let them choose their preferred vibrational reality and also for you to choose your own. It serves you both. Better explained is, say for example you are the one breaking up with the other. If you are doing it because you prefer a different vibration, then stand tall and be brave in the knowledge that you are serving your highest good. On the flip side, if the other person chooses what in your opinion is a lower vibration or negative behavior, that is their choice and it is good for them to learn that lesson in their lives.
- I want to leave you with this quote and a video I made about LOVE.
“Scale up your love! Why only love one person when you can fall in love with the whole universe. “ — Sadghuru
Thanks for reading, appreciate you took the time!
Gratitude to all supporters, today I send positive energy to Kevin Roache Carolyn F. Chryst, Ph.D. Kittie Velour
About the author:
Helen Müller is a DNA Upgrade specialist and coach to entrepreneurs and leaders. Her vision is to build a world of happiness for all and she aims to increase the impact of leaders through her expertise in super-efficiency and happiness/fulfillment.
She has a specific interest in closing the gap between the development of human intelligence and AI, to aid in the positive evolution of Artificial Intelligence.
“My philosophy in life is that you have this opportunity now, each moment to ENJOY, without judgment. When you simplify things and you stay focused, what you can achieve, the impact you can have and what you can feel is truly exhilarating. I love my life and I love helping others discover their full potential. In this universe, there’s more than enough for all of us.”
