This Cringy YouTube Dating Show Perfectly Sums up Everything Wrong With Modern Dating
There is always someone better around the corner.
For the past two years, the Cut YouTube channel has been home to a dating show called “The Button,” and boy is it one hell of a ride to watch.
Not many dating shows leave me feeling confused, exhilarated, and angry, all intermixed with feelings of secondhand embarrassment, quite like this one.
The premise of the show is stupidly simple.
Take a bunch of youngish singles who have never met, and have a pair sit face to face in what essentially sums up to a speed date, but on steroids.
Instead of having a timer, like how it would be like with traditional speed dating, the pair has a button placed smack right in the middle.
The button periodically lights up, allowing either one of the contestants to press it if they don’t like their date for whatever reason. Whoever presses the button last gets eliminated, and a new contestant will take their spot.
It also doesn’t help that the button can talk — but it’s not a conversational AI… it’s just that the show host uses it to feed inconvenient and often awkward prompts to each contestant — whether the contestants answer the questions is optional, but most do.
The couple that manages to form a connection and talk the longest without either of them pressing the button gets to go on an all-expenses-paid date after the show.
The show mimics the modern-day dating dynamic
This dating show is a microcosm of the modern dating landscape, especially online dating. Almost every possible bad dating practice you encounter in the real world is present in one form or another.
Just like how it’s like when dating in the real world, the contestants seem to make quick judgments about each other based on superficial characteristics that will have little to no bearing on the success of a relationship.
People routinely press the button because they have a problem with someone’s hair color, dress sense, or hobbies. The list of deal breakers people can come up with is endless.
And most seem to talk at each other instead of with each other. Hardly anyone takes the time to listen and understand.
From the get-go, the conversations are not about getting to know each other, it’s more about trying to fish for a reason to reject the other person.
I partly blame this on social media. Apps like Facebook and Instagram have inadvertently created an environment where people are in a constant state of want. We want the perfect job, the perfect partner, and the perfect look, all because that’s all we see on our feeds.
When someone ordinary comes along, it’s easy to dismiss them because we are conditioned to have these absurdly high expectations — even though we don’t live up to the same expectations.
Dating apps certainly don’t help the situation either.
I remember, my first dating experiences when online dating wasn’t as popular as it is now.
People had to meet each other organically. And there wasn’t a sense of having infinite abundance. When you met someone, you really did try to make it work. People weren’t quick to jump ship over petty differences. It wasn’t like you could log back on Tinder after a date to find a long list of possible suitors.
Dating back then seemed less complicated. There was never a sense that your date was shopping around and that you were one of many choices.
Most of the connections made were through friends, family, and school, so there was an incentive to act accordingly — your reputation meant a lot.
Not everything was perfect, of course. I still encountered the same problems inherent in all social interactions. They just were not as pronounced as they are today.
Dating is more difficult now, but it’s not hopeless
For the vast majority of people looking for a serious relationship, dating is, without a doubt, going to feel like an impossible task.
The button dating show shows us a glimpse into the types of characters flooding the dating pool. You going to encounter people who will reject you because you don’t meet their high expectations, some will waste your time because they don’t know what they want or they are experiencing dating apathy, and others will seem like a good match but things won’t work out.
Even so, there is a silver lining in all this gloom and despair.
Despite all this negativity surrounding dating, people still manage to make meaningful connections. And The Button dating show is no exception. I have seen a few contestants hit off well and go on to have the all-expense-paid date.
So if it’s possible to be successful on such a show, why not in the real world?
One only needs to develop a thick skin, that way your self-esteem won’t get crushed by other people’s behavior.
Above all, don’t give up. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s true. Keep putting yourself out there. Eventually, the right person will come through.
If you enjoy reading my stories, please consider joining Medium as a paying member. It’s $5 for unlimited access. And if you use the following referral link, it will go a long way in supporting me as a writer.
