Outwitted by a Cold-Blooded Canine

A tale of stolen socks and psychological warfare

Look at that face, but don’t let it deceive you — that doggo’s innocent gaze belies a canine cunning.

On that fateful day, Brian the dog defeated me in a battle of wits, and my mental fortitude has never recovered.

The date? December 2019. A simpler time. A better time.

I was in an Airbnb in Tasmania, Australia, celebrating Christmas and New Year with my girlfriend. We’d just been for a long hike on Christmas Eve, up Hartz Peak. It was a warm and sunny day and the climb was quite taxing.

When we returned, I extricated my feet from their swampy prison and took my sweaty socks off.

For whatever reason, Brian, who was the hosts’ dog (they lived next door), found this scent absolutely irresistible. He grabbed one sock and bounded across the lawn towards the next property.

Once he was sure I was following, he’d drop the sock and back off slightly. When I walked towards the offending article, he’d lunge towards it, pick it up, and dash away again.

He’d run about a bit, enjoying the ‘soleful’ scent of Eau de foot, before dropping it again, backing away, and looking expectantly at me.

This taunting continued about 10 times, and he was steadily getting closer and closer to his owners’ house. I wasn’t keen on him gifting my sock to them — I wouldn’t wish such a fate on anybody, and it would be no way at all to thank them for their hospitality.

His jovial exterior belied his ruthlessness. Make no mistake, this was a mental chess match, and he could see my spirit wilting in the early evening heat.

Finally, he must have taken pity on me and my increasingly frantic efforts to grab the sock. He allowed me to retrieve it and carefully dispose of it in a nearby incinerator. (Or put it in a washing machine, maybe.)

The silver lining?

My girlfriend and I had been arguing about something trivial — I can’t remember what. Brian’s intervention came when she wasn’t talking to me, but the glares soon turned into smiles as this furry little guy led me on a merry chase.

It’s hard to stay mad at someone when you’ve just watched them run around helplessly after such a cute sock thief.

So, maybe I should thank Brian. On the other hand, since then my girlfriend has never missed an opportunity to remind me of the fact I was outwitted by a dog.