This Could Really Be a Good Life
From hope to achievement, to a new way of life
Few things are so oppressive as the sense of your dreams being out of reach; of not believing in the possibility of your hopes; of effectively being hopeless.
Meaning is absent from your life in this situation. There is no greater purpose to lend intention to your everyday activities, whether social, hobbies, or work.
Your social relationships are simply pleasant; you are not working towards any depth of relationship, challenging yourself and others. Your hobbies are interesting distractions but don’t serve your vision, nor are they used as a chance to recharge. Finally, your work is a tedious and unbearable chore. It might be fun and rewarding for a while, but without connection to a greater goal, it soon grows interminable.
Struggling with decision making is also inevitable in this situation. Any complex or serious decision will be a coin-toss without something to aim for. Without a compass-north you will lack conviction in your choices.
Genuine belief in the spiritual dimension of life will also be lacking. If you see no purpose to this current life, why believe in a higher purpose for the universe? In that situation, spirituality becomes a crutch to lean on to gain relief rather than an inspiring conviction. You may believe in it abstractly, but with no supporting evidence from the world, it doesn’t come alive for you.
If life is to have any meaning at all, there must be a higher love; something worthwhile to strive for. And this something must seem possible. It’s something that would come to pass if the right efforts were made.
This might be a good life
The first step on the road takes the form of a possibility. A hazy and incomplete picture of a better life. This possibility is seen as actual, but belief in your ability ever to gain it is lacking. It’s more of a wish than a plan.
But this is not a problem. A weak, but tangible, belief in the possibility is all you need. Conviction is helpful, but not required in the beginning.
Overcome the current negativity long enough to plant the seed of your dream in the mind. It only needs to be a small seed, but it must contain a dream to truly inspire you. Something that’s worthwhile for you (worthwhile to you; not a generic success criteria). The dream needs to be both moving and attainable.
“Attainable” here does not mean “mundane” or “pedestrian”. Your dream must be realistic, yes, but something slightly exaggerated and not bogged down in pragmatism is useful in the beginning.
It is necessary to create a beneficial atmosphere to shelter and immerse a new and weak mindset or vision. Its adaptation to reason and the test of reality must come later. First, the challenge is to grow the seed of beauty you have in your mind into something durable. Flesh it out, bring it to mind frequently, collect evidence to support it, nourish it with helpful thinking, with inspiring art, by reading stories about other achieving, or just dreaming, of something similar.
Growing a new mindset requires seclusion and sheltering from doubt in the beginning. It’s a bit like hypnotizing yourself by only focusing on things that reinforce the desired state. Bringing that way of being out into the world is an advanced technique.
This still-malnourished dream will have the quality of a “in-a-different-life” dream. You see the genuine possibility of it, but it’s weak and you will not move heaven and earth to get it. The conviction does not run deep enough to inspire that kind of single-minded action.
But again, that’s not a problem; the inspiration is the important part in the beginning. And once you start working towards your dream, you will hone in on the essence of it and drop the grandiose and idealistic part.
Simply put, the phrase “this might be a good life” represents hope, which should not be underestimated, and is necessary to begin the process. Without it, nothing will happen and you remain stuck as you are.
This will be a good life
This is the next step. Resolve has manifested now. Persistent effort is present. You are fired up and feel driven and powerful.
Despite the firmness of effort, this step is still a kind of wishing; a determination to force the universe’s hand. Your dream is not currently present, but you are 100% determined to change that — “I will make it happen.”
Fear and doubt are still lurking around the edges: the universe is not going to just hand you your ambitions; you have to go get them. Should you fail, your dream will be gone. You strive to reject anything that takes you away from your purpose and allow yourself only so much “weakness”. You realize you will tip back into your old life if you don’t maintain forward momentum.
This is not a relaxed, trusting, assured position, but you are making substantial improvements. The small seed of hope is being nourished and is growing. You can see the outer world changing to resemble your inner vision.
While not a desirable endpoint, this stage is necessary. Without evidence of progress, how can you move to a more relaxed and settled position regarding your dreams? It would be wishful thinking, overlooking reality and rationality. You can’t skip directly to assurance having done nothing to earn it.
This could really be a good life
This third step is true acceptance & belief in the possibility of your dream. It’s a real possibility in this present life, exactly as it is.
There is a sudden, gentle realization you are no longer living in the old world where your aspiration was just a glimmer. Where you were far from sure you could do anything with it. Life has opened up and you are not looking to the future in the same way. You feel you are already present in the life that could truly be great. It’s no longer a game of waiting patiently for tomorrow where you will be happy.
Life is good, and wonderful opportunities surround you.
What has changed is your self-belief and your world-view. Your efforts in pursuing your dream, and the successes you’ve had, have changed your outlook on life. Before, you saw possibilities and dreams; now you see opportunities. Confidence has been built to where you feel able and willing to pursue your hopes in any direction, freely using any of life’s options that interest you.
Your current life, with all its wonder, becomes the focus instead of the future. You are still moving in the general direction of your dream, but are not tied to it in the same way, since the world is now filled with great opportunities.
You feel the aliveness and “free-ness” of this life, and know & feel that it could really be a good life.
Conclusion
The essential point is not to achieve the goals themselves, but to grow the mindset that makes life come alive. Even if you accomplished your aims, they would simply be replaced with others. Obviously, you want to achieve your goals, but it would not be satisfactory without the new approach to life. After all, what you actually want is for your life, this current life right now, to be great.
From the uncertain hope of “this might be a good life”, to the powerful & driven “this will be a good life”, to the liberating state of “this could really be a good life.”