This 1 Compliment Has Served Me for 22 Years
The power of kind words
We interacted for 5 seconds. In fact, I don’t think he even gave me a chance to speak. He said his piece, and walked away. I never saw him again.
He didn’t have to approach me. He didn’t have to say what he said. He could have left this as his inside voice.
I didn’t feel creeped out. He wasn’t seeking anything in return. A simple, kind gesture of words, and off he went. Leaving me whirling.
Relaxing in a bar in Cairns, Australia. I think I have it all figured out, but really I’m a self-conscious 18-year-old. I am enjoying a jovial conversation with some fellow backpackers. Life is carefree, on the outside. Although my brain is never carefree.
I didn’t even see him approach. He was graceful. He excuses himself for interrupting our conversation. He looks at me with smiling eyes and says
“I just wanted to tell you, you have a beautiful smile.”
And with that, he turns on his heels and walks out of the bar. He didn’t wait for a response. He didn’t turn his compliment into a chat-up line. He left his kind present hanging in the air, then vanished.
We all carried on chatting as normal. But I felt changed from within. I sat up taller.
It’s not the external validation that served me. It’s the kindness of the words. Yes, he made me feel seen. But there was no ulterior motive. He didn’t wait around for anything in return.
He complimented me on my smile. Memories of this beautiful interaction brings the same smile to my face, time and time again. Even 22 years on.
I am a smiley person. Is this because of his kind words? Did his words put a perpetual smile on my face? I put smiles out into the world and I feel I receive smiles back. Did those 5 seconds change my life trajectory?
How Can We Be Kinder To Strangers
The effect this stranger had on me is profound. I still think of it today.
Sometimes we shy away from expressing kind thoughts or actions. Let’s learn to be braver. What’s the worst that can happen?
We don’t need to overcomplicate kindness. Kindness does not need huge compromise. Sometimes, all it takes is sharing the nice thoughts we are having about others.
Here are 3 easy ways to introduce some kindness into daily interactions.
#1 Ask others how their day is going
We interact with people daily. Yet, often we are gazing at our mobile phone or allow our mind to wander away from the here and now. Next time you do a food shop, make eye contact with the cashier. Smile at them, ask them how their day is. Allow the conversation to develop from here.
I worked in bars and restaurants as a teenager and whilst traveling. Those who took the time to ask how I was, made me feel like a person. They did not treat me as a mere server for their own convenience. Those who engaged with me on a human-to-human level buoyed my spirit.
#2 Give a compliment
It’s important to be authentic, only give a compliment if you genuinely mean it. If you like someone’s hair, smile, jacket, dog, hat, or tattoo, tell them.
I passed a lady with bright green hair on my walk the other day. She rekindled memories of my blue hair days. As I walked past her, I told her it was gorgeous and I loved it. She beamed. Let’s learn to allow our nice inside voice, become an outside voice.
#3 Help others
This doesn’t need to consist of dozens of hours a week doing voluntary work. By all means, do that if you can. If you see someone who looks like they could use an extra pair of hands, offer your services. It may be the person who is heavily laden with bags, trying to get on a bus. Or perhaps it is the fledgling that is resting dangerously close to a road.
My mum traveled from the UK to Yemen with 4 children under the age of 4, I’m still figuring out if she is a hero or stupid. Whilst struggling in the airport everyone passed her by. Everyone that is, except for a kind gentleman with a faceful of piercings and a half foot mohican.
He scooped up my twin sister in one arm and a suitcase in the other. She babbled away at him and he retorted with “are you a punk then, are you a punk?”
My mum still tells people this story. His kind gesture is embedded in her soul.
Kindness Always Prevails
No matter what happens in life. Giving and receiving kindness makes our world a little bit brighter and sweeter.
Kindness surrounds us. Sometimes we just need to slow down and watch the world for a while.
Katie Michaelson wrote a beautiful piece on simple acts of kindness she observed in one day.
Next time you experience your inside voice, thinking beautiful thoughts about someone. Consider changing it to an outside voice. You never know, your kind words could have a lasting impact on a stranger.
This story was brought to you by Spread the Ripple. We are a publication dedicated to kindness. Kindness is our superpower. Read more stories and come and write with us here:
