Think About This the Next Time You’re in a Bad Mood Around Loved Ones

I take the train to London with my mum and stepdad to visit my sister in London; it’s something that we do a few times each year. Up until the day that inspired me to write this post, I thought that we go up at least 10 times a year. But I was wrong; it’s only about 3–4 having checked my calendar.

We have a habit of not planning much to do when we get there. As long as we see each other, enjoy some good coffee, food, and maybe some drinks — we’re happy. Though I had a moan once saying that we ought to make some effort to see more of London, rather than just walking around my sister’s area.

So the next time we went up, we did.

First up, we had a nice walk around Greenwich, which is where I used to live so it was great to go back. Then we walked around Zone 1 to do some shopping, and then we planned to cap off the day with some drinks at a bar in the Shard — London’s famous 72-storey skyscraper.

But the day wasn’t going so well; we were all a bit tired and fed up. It hadn’t been our best day out in London. We all had our own worries hanging over us, and they showed. There weren’t any arguments but we were all a bit irritable and distant.

The service we experienced everywhere was rude, the transport was a nightmare (…standard London), the weather was freezing (…standard UK) — the day was littered with pockets of “FFS!” everywhere we went.

We had been looking forward to drinks at The Shard for weeks. Getting to enjoy some time together while taking in that incredible view was surely going to be the highlight of the day?

Then we arrived… and had to wait for a table — for a long time. It was packed with drunks shouting and taking endless amounts of selfies. The waiters were really stressed out and rude (I would be too). And when we finally got a table, it was only for two. So my sister and I stood up while my parents sat down.

My sister had enough. She got frustrated and started complaining. I could see it wasn’t really about today. This was just the icing on the cake.

The couple next to us left their table and the four of us were now sitting together, kinda. The two tables weren’t that close together, and the bar staff moaned at us when we tried to move them.

We knew that all of our grievances were petty — not anything to complain about in the grand scheme of things. Nothing. Nothing at all. But as my sister was having a brutal week as it was, she couldn’t stop ranting.

I listened for a bit and then interrupted her and said, “Just accept it. Because you will never have this day again.”

“I know, I know — I’ll stop moaning now,” she said.

At first I felt harsh for saying that but it seemed to work. Then the sun started to set. We all settled down with it as we looked out over London — one of my favourite cities in the world. We enjoyed our drinks, talked, laughed, and enjoyed the view — just as we wanted.

But as I was taking in the moment, it was my own words that sent my mind into a downward spiral: I suddenly thought… how many times am I going to be enjoying a day like this in London with my mum, sister, and stepdad?

How many times are we all going to be alive and well enough to do something like this?

100? Probably not 100 as we only do this a few times a year — and 100 is not enough! I need more than that…

Is it 50, 30, 20 times or even less than that?! A bleak thought… but it made me realise just how precious it is to be alive, surrounded by three people that I love so much I can’t express it. The day started at that moment for me, and all the petty grievances washed away.

I meditate daily. And make time for “negative visualisation”, a stoic practice, to make me feel more alive and grateful. But it was knowing that there is a number of times that I get to go to London with my family — a number that I do not know — that I have left to enjoy. It hit me hard.

We finished our drinks; my sister took the Underground home as my parents and I made our way back to Victoria Station to take the train back to Brighton.

There were plans to go to London again a few months later in early 2020, but then Covid hit and we went into Lockdown. We weren’t all together again for many months.

The time we have is precious.

I’ve always thought that I was good at living in the moment but that day revealed to me that I wasn’t truly grasping how fleeting each moment is. And just how precious and lucky you are to spend time with people that you love.

Don’t let work, rude people, the media, fickle friends or anything else take your awareness away when you’re around your loved ones. Expect that each day comes with moments that will irritate you — if you let them. But they don’t matter.

This matters. Here, right now. Don’t let yourself take days for granted — especially when you’re with the people that you love the most.

Tell them that you love them, that you’re proud of them, and when you argue, makeup as quickly as possible.

Enjoy what’s here and now and right in front of your face. Because it’s all there is. You are never going to have this day again. Not this day. So cherish it, dearly.

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