Things You Can’t Be if You Want to Be a Writer
I’m in a lot of Facebook writer groups and it sometimes surprises me what “writers” say or ask. Some make me wonder why they are in a writer’s group. Here is my compilation of all the things you can’t be if you want to be a writer.
A non-reader
Recently a few writers acknowledged that they don’t read much, if at all. I’m trying not to be judgy here but can somebody help me out and explain how you can be a writer and not read?
How can you do something you haven’t seen modeled? It’s like saying, “I’m a swimmer but I don’t get in the water.” or “I’m a teacher but I’ve never been in a classroom as a student.”
Isn’t reading the classroom and the pool for writers? Even if my opinion were worthless, let’s take our cue from some ‘real’ writers like Stephen King, Jeff Goins, and Neil Gaiman
If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot. — Stephen King
Can I be blunt on this subject? If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that. — Stephen King
I was reading a blog the other day, and it kind of depressed me. The writing was pretty mediocre, and the worst part was it didn’t have to be… What would have made the difference? If she had done her homework. If she had read more. — Jeff Goins, Why Writers Need to Read if They Want to Be Good
Read everything you can lay your hands on. Read the ‘classics’ in whatever areas of writing you want to work in so you know what the high points are. Read outside your areas of comfort, so you know what else is out there. Read. — Neil Gaiman
Okay, enough said here, you get the point. I hope. Do your homework!
A non-writer
This seems a little obvious but — ahem — there are also these Facebook groupies who don’t write every day and want to know how to publish a book.
Malcolm Gladwell taught us about the 10,000-hour rule and although there are those who are debunking his number, the point is: you’ve got to practice something in order to get better at it.
LeBron James did not wake up one day at the age of 18 and say, “Hey, I’d like to play basketball for the NBA, can someone send me a free PDF on 10 Steps to the NBA?”
If you want to be a writer, then write every day. If you want to be a better writer, then read and write every day.
Afraid
This one is tough and I get that we all have hangups and baggage and those one or two (or maybe a dozen or so) people who we don’t want to see our writing, but I’m going to dish out some tough love and channel my inner Anne Lamott: You can’t be a writer and make an impact on a reader if you are afraid of the words that want to be written.
Recently a woman in one of the aforementioned Facebook groups was upset that someone had invited her family members to like her public Facebook author page. She said that she wanted to keep that side of herself “hidden” from those people.
I love tough love so I responded.
I’m not sure it’s possible to be a writer and stay hidden. My writing coach talked about this yesterday. She said the brass ring in writing is being completely authentic. Can one be authentic and hide from the world? — me channeling my inner Nikki Tate
How do you handle this? Do you wait to write things until you are brave enough to share them with the world or do you carefully write about only the things that won’t bring backlash or criticism? Do you hide your writing from certain people? How would you have responded to her comment?
Unwilling to be a beginner
As one of my favorite writers, Emily P. Freeman, says, “Everybody loves new beginnings but nobody wants to be a beginner.” She explains, in her book, The Next Right Thing, that in times of transition part of the stress we experience is that we may be new at something. And, let’s be honest, it feels crappy to not know what the hell you are doing.
Every writer was a beginner at some point. Even those who tell you they came out of the womb with a pen in their hand had to begin writing for others to read their work at some point. That’s why Anne Lamott says it’s okay to write shitty first drafts. You’ve got to start somewhere.
When I set my writing aside and went full force into my career, I naively thought I would pick up where I left off when I returned to writing. I soon learned that stepping away from writing for a decade or so was going to put me back at beginner status. Considering so much had changed while I had been away — like blogging and the use of social media as a writer — I was overwhelmed and embarrassed by how much of a baby beginner I felt like.
When I transitioned back to writing, I felt stupid and lost in the new world of writing. I wondered about things like plug-ins and SEO and I had to call my 18-year-old son and ask, “What’s Instagram?”
No, thank you, I do not like feeling like a beginner. But, you know what? I love writing more than I hate being embarrassed about looking like a novice, so I’ll keep asking dumb questions so I can keep writing every day!
Close-minded
If your blog or your book is going to repeat a narrow-minded message over and over and over and if anyone who disagrees with how you see the world, eternity, politics, child-rearing, or God is going to feel pushed away by reading your words, I don’t think your words are going to get very far.
I’m honest, bold, and open about my faith when I write, yet someone said to me that my inclusivity is my gift as a writer. Honestly, I don’t know how that happens but I want everyone to read my words not just the 25 (make that a handful of)people who know, like, and agree with me on vital topics.
This point also goes back to the point about reading. You can’t be well-read by reading the same genre your entire life. There are only two ways to know the world. One is to travel and if you can’t travel to all the places and times then read about them. Because, at the end of the day, everything you’ll ever need to know can be found in books.
A perfectionist
Now, this is a subject I can speak on with authority. I’m practically the poster child for the Enneagram #1, The Perfectionist, or as they have tried to soften this negative title recently, The Reformer.
Any which way you slice it, my false self tells me that I need to make things perfect before moving on to something else. My inner critic points out the slightest weakness in my story or my not-so-savvy use of adjectives (or how many times I’ve used hyphenated words in a piece) and warns me that I “better sit on that one before submitting it.”
I’m on to her now, though. I know she’s only getting me to stall because she feels vulnerable and exposed. I push her out of her comfort zone, hit publish, and tell her to sit down and shut up.
And this is why I love Medium so much. I know I can and should submit work regularly and this platform creates momentum for me to do so. The ability to turn out an article everyday overrides the inner critic’s desire to nitpick each piece to its death.
Is every article I publish on Medium worthy of the angels rejoicing? My stats say no. Could each piece get better if I kept working on it? Of course. But I’m not going to get anywhere doing that and the writers on Medium know the end game and my non-writer readers are pleased enough with what I’ve produced because it's timely and honest and speaks to them today.
If you give in to perfectionism when it comes to writing, you risk becoming a hoarder.
A hoarder
I used to squirrel away writing ideas and well-turned sentences thinking I could hoard them until I had a pile of something worthy for an article to submit or a good start to a book.
Do you know what happens when you unwrap those packages from the attic of your writer’s mind? You’ll find they are brittle and broken, yellowed and stained, much like your grandmother’s linen she hid away for the special occasions that never arrived.
Now is a special occasion.
One cannot write from a scarcity mindset.
Even if what you have on the tip of your fingers right now seems like the perfect addition to that book you are dreaming about, go ahead and use it anyway. If it’s good enough and timely enough when you need it again it will work for you.
Like Anne Lamott, paraphrasing Annie Dillard, says in Bird by Bird, “…day by day you have to give the work before you all the best stuff you have, not saving up for later projects. If you give freely, there will always be more.”
I’ll keep reading and asking stupid questions and being vulnerable and brave because I’m definitely going to keep writing and so should you!