Things I would tell my 20-year-old self

Do something today that your future self will thank you for

I turned 35 this year and somehow was in a mood to reevaluate my life. To keep competing and growing in the tech industry, I have been on a constant competitive battle to get better. And now here I am thinking, what did I achieve with nearly half my life gone. There are so many things I could have done better and if I were to have a candid tête-à-tête with my 20-year-old self, here’s what I’d tell him:

Make friends, lots of them

The current society puts a lot of stress on a romantic relationship. We believe finding the right person to spend our life will make us happy and content. And I partially agree with that (after all, I have a wife to go back to), but having good friends can have a huge physiological impact on your life. One Swedish study even found that maintaining a rich network of friends can add significant years to your life.

Make friends who are on the same wavelength as you, who can relate to you. Reconnect with old friends with whom you may have lost touch. Or in the first place, never let that happen. Travel together. Drink together.

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born” — Anais Nin

Don’t chase other people’s dreams and ambition

Being in the tech industry for more than 12 years, one thing that I have learned is you will never be happy and content unless you change the definition of — what makes you happy.

We are busy chasing other people’s dreams often confusing them as yours. Don’t fret over if someone else gets a 1% higher pay raise than you, don’t worry too much about a fancy car your friend got. Work on your own progression and that is what matters.

Work on things that you like and you will be content.

From the very beginning, we are taught that we need to come first, we need to be competitive. I guess that is the essence we carry in all these worthless penny fights.

“Happiness comes from you. No one else can make you happy. You make you happy” — Beyonce

The best time to start something is now

This is one of the biggest learnings of my life — It is never too late to start doing or learning something. When I started working, I pondered of writing myself a diary, but then thought — “It’s too late, I anyways never wrote down my college moments. What’s the point !”. I started writing the diary a year back, and now I have a year worth moments to cherish. It makes me a better writer, improved my focus, and much more. If you want to do something, now is the right time. If you want to learn something in your area of work, this is the apt time. You will never repent later.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do” — H. Jackson Brown JR

Travel, travel, and travel

I can’t stress enough the importance of traveling. Traveling opens your mind to distinctive cultures, diverse traditions, and lifestyles. Traveling is a stress buster, and a way to rejuvenate yourself. Travel with your family, travel with friends, and if possible travel alone. Rent a car, and try a road trip.

I started taking traveling seriously just a few years ago and it’s been a refreshing experience. I love the emotion of traveling alone, it helps me rediscover myself.

Make it a rule to travel at least once or twice a year, and it will bring you memories for a lifetime.

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page” ~ Saint Augustine

Invest in the future

It is always a great idea to invest in the future. Take some fraction of the salary every month and invest in something that you have good knowledge of or are interested in. If you lack knowledge, spend some time learning it. I am not going to spend time explaining the best options for earning some passive money, there are so many courses and guides available online. I rue so many opportunities for investing money when I was young, but again better late than never.

“Never depend on a single income, make an investment to create a second source.” — Warren Buffet

These are the 5 things I would have told my younger self, hoping it would be helpful for him. But I guess the best lessons are what life teaches you. No guide, no amount of courses can teach you more than life experience. So, don’t be afraid to make mistakes, but be prepared to learn from them. Don’t stop loving because you failed at it once. Finally, don’t stop living.

I’ll end this by a quote from Arthur Ashe — “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can”

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