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society. Compared to hoarding, it may not be as bad. But if the girl told someone that a flounder was her best friend, and she spends her days roaming the sea with a fish, her father would have probably gotten her committed to a mental institution. And don’t even get me started on the crab.</p><h1 id="748e">Albatross is Not a Good Beauty Advisor</h1><p id="be5d">The career of a beauty artist is relatively new. It may not have been as popular in the 90s, but nowadays, the beauty guru to shape the way we look. Has anyone ever heard of going to a bird? Moreover, have you ever seen an albatross using a fork is a beauty tool? Ariel would have been harshly criticized for animal exploitation. Not to mention, is albatross a typical American bird? The mermaid should not have given an American job to a foreigner! We need to build a wall, and the albatross’ are going to pay for it!</p><h1 id="2776">Leaving Your Family and Friends for a Man is Anti-feministic</h1><p id="ab4a">Now, let’s discuss the most terrible decision the girl made in the entire movie. Sure, she was in love. Of course, she wanted to be with Eric. But why in God’s name would a strong, independent, successful and smart lady abandon her family and friends for a man? Didn’t Beyoncé teach her anything? In the 90s, Ariel may have been forgiven for such a decision, because women were told to follow men no matter what. Right now, the mermaid would have received hate mail from the feminist communities. The criticism would have been so overwhelming, and she would have had to use the albatross as a postal owl! Don’t you dare leave your peeps behind for a dude, not in our times!</p><h1 id="b383">Couldn’t Her Dad Afford a Good Lawyer to Review Ursula’s Contract?</h1><p id="12ea">We needed a bad guy in the picture, so naturally, Ursula was the antagonist. But if the movie was created in 2020, there is no way Ariel wo

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uld have signed the contract. First of all, she would have been a much better, educated young woman. Secondly, she would have known better and gone to her father’s lawyer. Not to mention, the girl may have had her own lawyer by this point!</p><p id="fd64">A fancy successful mermaid — most likely a female one — in an expensive suit would have entered the picture. She would have laughed in Ursula’s face, threw the contract at her, phoned her paralegals, and proclaimed:</p><blockquote id="f46e"><p>“You can suck it!”</p></blockquote><p id="1557">That would have been the end of the discussion. And as she was going at it, she would have considered offering her legal services to other Ursula’s victims. Because the class action lawsuits are an excellent opportunity for lawyers to build their careers.</p><h1 id="a9f2">Kissing Without a Consent is a Huge No-no</h1><p id="3d40">As much as the scene with Eric in the boat was cute and romantic, there would have been an issue of consent in modern times. I get that Ariel had to kiss the guy at all costs — again, make sure to bring a lawyer with you before signing papers! — but she should have confirmed consent.</p><p id="126c">What if Eric was not OK with the kiss? Maybe, he wanted to wait? What if kissing in the middle of a lake was not his idea of the first kiss? Ariel should have known better. This kind of behavior wouldn’t fly in 2020.</p><p id="6dd8">Does anyone wish to re-film the movie? We should commit the mermaid to ten sessions of therapy and figure out the hoarding situation, and to let her find non-fishy friends. An introduction to a proper beauty artist is a necessity as well. After making her sit through a content-related lecture, we can let her re-enter the society. The movie is going to be great! As long as, instead of an albatross, we hire the patriotic bold American eagle for a character.</p></article></body>

Things the Little Mermaid Pulled Off in the Movie, That Wouldn’t Fly in 2020

Ariel was great, but the society would have crushed her in modern times

Like many other children, I thoroughly enjoyed watching the Disney movie “Little Mermaid” many moons ago. It was inspiring, exciting, and it all made sense to me as a kid.

As I re-watched it recently, there were a lot of inconsistencies. Maybe it was acceptable in the 90s, but had Ariel lived in our times; she probably would not have survived. Even if she succeeded in some of her actions, the girl would have been wildly criticized by this society. I present to you the list of reasons why The Little Mermaid wouldn’t make it in 2020.

Hoarding is Considered a Mental Illness

Watching Ariel collect shiny trinkets was fascinating. The idea of her being a hoarder didn’t even cross my mind. However, in 2020, we take mental disorders very seriously. The Anxiety and Depression Association In America recognize hoarding as a legitimate mental illness and offers ways to control and treat it. Ariel may have captured the hearts of young children decades ago; but presently, her behavior would have attracted psychiatrists and other doctors.

Having a Fish for a Friend isn’t Healthy Either

Flounder was the cutest fish with chubby cheeks, and he was probably my favorite character in the animated movie. Having that said, being friends with the fish isn’t particularly acceptable in our society. Compared to hoarding, it may not be as bad. But if the girl told someone that a flounder was her best friend, and she spends her days roaming the sea with a fish, her father would have probably gotten her committed to a mental institution. And don’t even get me started on the crab.

Albatross is Not a Good Beauty Advisor

The career of a beauty artist is relatively new. It may not have been as popular in the 90s, but nowadays, the beauty guru to shape the way we look. Has anyone ever heard of going to a bird? Moreover, have you ever seen an albatross using a fork is a beauty tool? Ariel would have been harshly criticized for animal exploitation. Not to mention, is albatross a typical American bird? The mermaid should not have given an American job to a foreigner! We need to build a wall, and the albatross’ are going to pay for it!

Leaving Your Family and Friends for a Man is Anti-feministic

Now, let’s discuss the most terrible decision the girl made in the entire movie. Sure, she was in love. Of course, she wanted to be with Eric. But why in God’s name would a strong, independent, successful and smart lady abandon her family and friends for a man? Didn’t Beyoncé teach her anything? In the 90s, Ariel may have been forgiven for such a decision, because women were told to follow men no matter what. Right now, the mermaid would have received hate mail from the feminist communities. The criticism would have been so overwhelming, and she would have had to use the albatross as a postal owl! Don’t you dare leave your peeps behind for a dude, not in our times!

Couldn’t Her Dad Afford a Good Lawyer to Review Ursula’s Contract?

We needed a bad guy in the picture, so naturally, Ursula was the antagonist. But if the movie was created in 2020, there is no way Ariel would have signed the contract. First of all, she would have been a much better, educated young woman. Secondly, she would have known better and gone to her father’s lawyer. Not to mention, the girl may have had her own lawyer by this point!

A fancy successful mermaid — most likely a female one — in an expensive suit would have entered the picture. She would have laughed in Ursula’s face, threw the contract at her, phoned her paralegals, and proclaimed:

“You can suck it!”

That would have been the end of the discussion. And as she was going at it, she would have considered offering her legal services to other Ursula’s victims. Because the class action lawsuits are an excellent opportunity for lawyers to build their careers.

Kissing Without a Consent is a Huge No-no

As much as the scene with Eric in the boat was cute and romantic, there would have been an issue of consent in modern times. I get that Ariel had to kiss the guy at all costs — again, make sure to bring a lawyer with you before signing papers! — but she should have confirmed consent.

What if Eric was not OK with the kiss? Maybe, he wanted to wait? What if kissing in the middle of a lake was not his idea of the first kiss? Ariel should have known better. This kind of behavior wouldn’t fly in 2020.

Does anyone wish to re-film the movie? We should commit the mermaid to ten sessions of therapy and figure out the hoarding situation, and to let her find non-fishy friends. An introduction to a proper beauty artist is a necessity as well. After making her sit through a content-related lecture, we can let her re-enter the society. The movie is going to be great! As long as, instead of an albatross, we hire the patriotic bold American eagle for a character.