Things I’d Rather Not Hear When My Child Is Having a Tantrum

Being a parent is a full-time job with no pre-training period to learn how to handle assigned tasks and challenging situations.

In this job called parenting one of the most stressful moment that can test our patience is when the child is having a tantrum.

That unfortunate instance when a child is having a public tantrum, screaming, crying,twisting and throwing punches in the air in all directions, under the watchful eyes of strangers, is with no doubt, a challenging moment for any parent. Besides carrying the emotional weight given by our child, we must also hear unsolicited advices or unwanted assistance from the onlookers.

Anyway, I still believe there’s hope for our society, and that in the future people will probably mind their own business when a situation like this happens, letting families deal with it themselves.

Here’s a closer look at phrases that parents would rather not hear or gestures they rather not see and some insights on how to handle these situations with grace.

• Please avoid staring. A tantrum is not a reality show 😒

I understand that for you it’s more captivating than a traveling circus and it’s hard to look away. Nevertheless that persistent gaze adds extraordinary pressure, making the situation even more challenging for us.

• Don’t ask why they are acting like this , (why they are crying, screaming)😱

Even if for you is a logical and reasonable question: “Oh, but what happened?” or, more straightforwardly: “What’s happening, that’s causing such behavior?” Honestly don’t expect for an explanation or an answer. The act of ignoring you should serve as a clear message that, although there’s an issue, it’s not your concern. I think this isn’t the appropriate time or setting to delve into details of our personal life.

• Don’t say phrases like “Well, my child never acted like that!” Or “Back in my days, children didn’t throw tantrums like that” 🙄

Every child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Comparisons often lead to unnecessary stress for parents. It’s obvious that times change, and so do parenting approaches. What worked in the past may not be as effective today, and each generation faces unique challenges.

• Please don’t ask me to take the child and go elsewhere 😤

Firstly, because in those moments, it would be physically impossible for me to move them, and convincing them nicely is out of the question given the situation we’re in. It would require physically forcing them, which would only worsen things, aside from the fact that it’s not something I agree with.

Secondly, because my aim is to convey a positive message to the child: that these intense emotions are acceptable, regardless of how negatively others may perceive their chosen way of expressing them. As long as no one is being harmed, there’s nothing shameful about experiencing a burst of anger and expressing and processing emotions, and there’s no need to hide them.

• Please refrain from giving solutions 🤯

I’m not interested in hearing your opinions on how I should raise my children or the parenting methods you’ve personally applied. Currently, even if you had valuable advice, it’s not the right time for me to sit, listen, and implement it.

Also, trends come and go, and what may be popular now may not align with a parent’s values or their child’s needs. It’s essential to respect individual choices in parenting styles.

So, what’s the best way to handle these comments? Responding with calm and confidence can defuse the situation. Acknowledge the input, but also assert your understanding of your child and your parenting methods. Sometimes, a simple “Thank you for your concern, but we’ve got it under control” can be a powerful response.

Remember that parenting is challenging, and tantrums are a normal part of your child’s development.

Be kind to yourself and don’t let the opinions of others weigh you down.

In the end, handling onlookers during a child’s tantrum is about maintaining composure, focusing on the child’s needs, and asserting boundaries when necessary. By using these methods, you can handle these situations more confidently and gracefully but the truth is that no one can silence the chatter of the world. There will always be someone passing judgment, so it’s wisest to do what feels right for you.

What other advices can you share? I would like to know what you know about this and what worked for you in handling tantrums and onlookers! 🤞