Things Americans Shouldn’t Put Up With (According to My European Husband)

We’re not as stupid as you think

My Danish husband spent the last three years in the U.S. While he occasionally pokes fun at America, he’s deeply sympathetic to its people.

“It’s not the people, it’s the government that has its priorities all wrong,” he commented on substantial problems in the country that prides itself on being “the best in the world.”

What surprises my husband the most though is how many people go along with the dysfunction, in the name of the ever-so-elusive “freedom” they were promised.

Why aren’t we angrier, he asks?

Maybe we are. We just don’t know who we’re angry at or why.

Because so many of us are honking, yelling, cutting each other off, ripping each other off, scamming, scheming, or just blasting music to get noticed.

“Americans need to wake up to reality and start thinking for themselves,” my husband concluded.

Here are some of the things he’s convinced we shouldn’t put up with.

Being treated like children

“It’s ironic that for all the talk of freedom in this country, Americans have so little of it,” my husband once told me staring at the dairy shelf in our local supermarket.

“As a grown-up, I should be able to buy a full-fat yogurt if I wanted to,” he complained struggling to find one among the dozens of “low fat” and “fat-free” varieties.

In my husband’s native Denmark, and in other European countries, full-fat dairy products are not only common but favored. Yet in the U.S., we often feel like freaks asking for cream in our coffees.

“My feeling is that here, you’re told what to eat and your options are limited because you’re not trusted to choose the right thing for yourself, like a child,” m’y husband observed.

This goes beyond yogurt.

“Americans are protected, instructed, and shielded every step of the way,” he noticed, pointing at the (unnecessary in his view) railings and warning signs on a bridge we passed.

“If you can’t trust a person to cross a bridge without falling off, that person (and the entire country) will never learn to think for themselves!” my husband exclaimed.

He went on to list multiple examples of American “freedoms” he observed, from bathroom stalls that give no privacy to the “Real ID” the DMV keeps asking him to get.

“Instead of advising people to get their passports and see the world outside of America, your government is inventing yet another way to track its citizens while making a buck,” my husband commented while in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles.

“But then, of course, traveling would mean seeing that the U.S. is no longer the greatest country in the world,” he concluded.

Lack of basic support from the government

This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone but my husband didn’t fully get it until he moved to America: in the U.S., your basic needs are not covered by the government.

“No one in a civilized country should be okay with not having affordable healthcare or childcare,” he pointed out.

Yet in the States, people so often are. Just from the comments on my Medium pieces, I learned that yes, many people here would rather suffer, or let others suffer, than get help from their government and pay a bit more in taxes.

“This manufactured fear of “socialism” in America is hilarious. It only serves the rich. Don’t people see that?” my husband laughs.

But the wheels of the propaganda machine keep turning, and the people keep paying.

Lack of vacation time

Not only Americans’ day-to-day lives are difficult but there’s literally no break from it. There’s no other civilized country where vacation time is not a given but a luxury.

A friend of mine in New York hasn’t taken time off in four years because he “can’t afford it.” It breaks my heart.

“Americans work harder than Europeans and yet they’re made to believe they don’t deserve a vacation,” my husband complains.

In my husband’s home country of Denmark, paid vacation time is six weeks and you’re more or less required to take it every year. The country comes to a stop in the summers. Nothing gets done. And that’s fine. Life is more than work, Danes believe.

“Here, of all places no one should settle for not having a vacation, or having just a week,” my husband concluded.

Government inefficiency

My husband often characterizes America as “nothing works.” Sometimes, he laughs about it. Other times, he gets very frustrated.

Of course, he was lucky to witness the country at its most incapable — during the Coronavirus outbreak. It’s as if the U.S. took an excuse to really let itself go. What was unforgivably difficult to do in the first place became impossible.

Even now, when we’re supposed to be getting back to normal, there are many things my husband still can’t get (to work).

“Getting a driver’s license shouldn’t be that difficult, especially if you’ve been driving for twenty years,” my husband stated after multiple attempts at exchanging his foreign driver’s license.

“Every encounter with the DMV is like visiting a comedy club. It’s so bad it’s good!” he laughed.

After a few very frustrating phone calls to the Social Security Administration, my husband found out that to get his Social Security Number he had to make an appointment by sending a fax. He actually googled what a fax was! (Denmark skipped faxing altogether, as it was considered “useless technology.”)

It took three months to get our daughter’s first passport, using the all-so-efficient USPS.

And don’t get my husband started on his experience with the IRS. We were told to fill out some paper forms. A year later, we’re still waiting for the response.

When it comes to American bureaucracy, sometimes all that’s left is to hit your head against the wall.

“It seems that all this paper-pushing is convenient for someone, just not the regular citizens,” my husband speculated.

“Americans should demand efficiency,” he concluded.

After spending his life in a country that was built to promote the happiness and well-being of its citizens, my husband came to America to learn that it was not designed with average people in mind.

“Way more effort here is spent on finding ways to keep the rich richer than on helping an average Joe to feel good about his life. And no one should think it’s okay,” he sadly concluded.