They Tell You, You are Going to Die
A poem of finality
-for Brittany Maynard
and memories turn to thrift store donations you’ll never drop off. Life becomes that book of poems you forgot on the hotel nightstand, a ticket stub stuck somewhere in its middle, reflections taking on an abstract sensation of semi-permanence, a goose-fleshed knowledge: this is as old as I’m ever going to look, as I’m ever going to be.
It seems the poets lied when they said beauty resides in truth. It seems they knew existence is itself cliché, best experienced as a drinking game, leaving subtle clues in their work: every time you hear the word moon, take a drink. You’ll never see the leaves turn gold again. The word leaves, take a drink. There’s nothing painless about this choice. Pain: drink.
Getting drunk dulls the edge of the knife slicing time’s tomato-skinned rope, but when you wish it most to go slow it quickens like water spilled across a polished black piano, running off in all directions, away from the empty glass, a kind of messy big bang.
It’s cynicism, like knowing the stars don’t exist, but admiring them anyway, because fuck cynicism until the moon comes back in style. Take a drink. When they say you’ve got six months to live, remind them they have less to prove the poets wrong: The stillness is the beauty, when the beauty is gone.






