avatarHarry Stefanakis

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Abstract

blem is not even that these sentiments are necessarily wrong.</p><p id="05d7">The problem is that these sentiments do not serve the person they are trying to help. They do not meet the person where they are but instead, they try to pull or shove the person suffering away from suffering. This can leave people feeling more alone in their suffering and therefore suffer more. Instead, it is more useful and meaningful to just be there. Walk beside them for a while. No solutions are necessary. Bearing witness. That is the salve that most people need.</p><p id="1c4b">A sample of my other work:</p><div id="3c1e" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/your-crossing-f6f428bccdcc"> <div> <div> <h2>your crossing</h2> <div><h3>belongs to you</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*7eXxFsQMeEPpqeF-tC9Amw.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="9496" class="link-block"> <a href="https:

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//readmedium.com/fierceness-playfulness-loving-kindness-e4f4605abf0f"> <div> <div> <h2>Fierceness, Playfulness, Loving-Kindness</h2> <div><h3>A Triptych Haiku</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*JwjP23qYeyFNpDqA6iKE6A.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="6839" class="link-block"> <a href="https://medium.com/@drharrys/membership"> <div> <div> <h2>Join Medium with my referral link - Harry Stefanakis</h2> <div><h3>As a Medium member, a portion of your membership fee goes to writers you read, and you get full access to every story…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*gdqVlwVjmU3dz8eG)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

They Mean Well

Advice for the helper

“HELP” by shoebappa is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0

Everything happens for a reason… Everyone’s a psychic from a distance to pain

If it was meant to be… Truth without meaning can it really be healing?

It will all work out in the end… Has no substance just flash for those who walk through silence and ash

I am here… Bearing witness; it is enough to be seen and not alone

Many who have suffered have heard well-meaning friends and family say things that, instead of helping, are like salt to the wound. The problem is not with the intention of the helper as they often do mean well and care for the person. The problem is not even that these sentiments are necessarily wrong.

The problem is that these sentiments do not serve the person they are trying to help. They do not meet the person where they are but instead, they try to pull or shove the person suffering away from suffering. This can leave people feeling more alone in their suffering and therefore suffer more. Instead, it is more useful and meaningful to just be there. Walk beside them for a while. No solutions are necessary. Bearing witness. That is the salve that most people need.

A sample of my other work:

Poetry
Life Lessons
Helping Others
Compassion
Bearing Witness
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