TIPS FOR A BETTER LIFE

These 5 Yoruba Proverbs Will Drastically Improve Your Quality of Life

Nuggets of wisdom from my Nigerian father

“Words are pale shadows of forgotten names. As names have power, words have power. Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest hearts.”

— Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

Foolish we would be if we didn’t consider the power of words.

Words can make or break relationships. They can bring about world wars. They can be the catalyst for birth or death.

They connect us and separate us, hurt us and heal us, confuse, uplift, shock, and comfort us. They are the bridge between reality and fantasy.

Words can mean everything, and yet also mean absolutely nothing.

To claim that my father is not a man of many words would be inaccurate. He’s simply someone who keeps within the realms of what is relevant or necessary to say.

He’s measured when he speaks — not one for interpolating his speech with excessive fillers or hyperbole. His words carry weight, slicing through the silence and sticking in the memory.

Although now retired, he was a senior consultant of Accident & Emergency Medicine, specializing in Trauma. His words were often a matter of life and death for the people in his care. He delivered life-changing news to patients’ loved ones, he instructed junior doctors and nurses on the best courses of action for treatment, he took a Hippocratic oath and honored it — denying my siblings and me tales of his superheroic adventures at the hospital.

My father is a Yoruba man, born and raised in Ibadan, Nigeria. He came to the UK at 21 years old to pursue a medical degree, leaving behind his family and friends, some of whom he never saw again. I assume you’re wondering what links my father and his personal history to the topic of powerful words.

In Yoruba culture, proverbs are a meaningful part of everyday communication. They pepper conversations just like umms and ahhs. Proverbs are a reflection of the Yoruba community’s collective wisdom and spirituality, our respect for philosophy, and our devotion to preserving oral history through storytelling.

My father often speaks in proverbs, effortlessly unearthing them from the archives of his mind to apply to any given situation or circumstance.

His repertoire of parables is impressive and wide-reaching.

I would like to share 5 of the most thought-provoking ones since sharing your knowledge with others is one of the core principles of Yoruba culture. I know that not everyone has the resources available to them, in the form of elders, from whom to be able to readily imbibe this sort of wisdom.

1.) Olójú kan kì í mọ’yì Ọlọ́run à fi tí nǹkan bá gbọ̀n si.

A one-eyed person is rarely grateful to God until they’re blinded.

It can sometimes be so easy to focus on the things that are going wrong in our lives that we consequently forget to appreciate the positives. The mishaps and the drama can consume us, obstructing our ability to rationalize, so we allow them to overshadow our thoughts while the positives fade feebly into the background. We’re all guilty of it.

But the fact that we’re even alive to experience anything, is, in itself, a wondrous miracle for which to be thankful.

This morning, I went out for my usual walk and got caught in a rainstorm, completely unprepared and very inappropriately dressed. I was soaking wet by the time I got home. The old me would’ve rued the day as I trudged, with cold, wet feet, through the country lanes. Now that I’m in my thirties, my perspective has undergone a reset and now I actively remind myself to feel gratitude. We have so much to appreciate, even in the face of adversity.

Yes, I was wet. But I was walking, able-bodied, past expanses of meadows and fields of sheep. The rain was refreshing, it smelled salty and felt cleansing.

Yes, I was wet. But I was thankful.

2.) Bàtà orí àkìtàn náà re òde ìyàwó rí.

The pair of shoes now on the rubbish heap was once worn to a wedding.

This one can be interpreted in a couple of different ways, depending on the context.

• Something that was once special or valuable can end up being considered worthless and discarded. So, the idea or object that seems so important to you now will one day pale into insignificance or even be forgotten. Don’t sweat it too much, everything is temporary.
• Material possessions ultimately don’t matter as much as we think they do. We can’t take them with us when we die. The things we believe we cannot live without, we come to eventually discover that we absolutely can.

Weddings are enormous in Yoruba communities, often spanning several days and consisting of various events. It’s no surprise that they feature quite heavily in our proverbs.

The festivities are flashy and extravagant, and this is reflected in the elaborate, beautiful outfits people wear to attend them. The aso ebi (the attire worn by the guests) is chosen by the bride and groom who announce their elected color palette and fabric at the time of invitation, to allow guests enough time to get their bespoke outfits made by a tailor. Since the outfit is made for that specific wedding, the aso ebi typically gets disposed of after the event, as it’s no longer useful to the wearer.

What took weeks of planning and hours of careful construction, now lies, discarded and inconsequential, on the rubbish heap.

So, be mindful of the things you place a lot of importance on. Nothing lasts forever, so make sure your emotional and financial investments are worthwhile.

3.) Àtùpà kì í níyì lọ́ọ̀sán, ṣugbọ̀n a máa gba’yì lọ́jọ́ alẹ́.

Lamps are not valued in the afternoon but instead are appreciated at night.

This proverb speaks to those of us who occasionally feel unworthy (so, all of us at some stage in life.)

A lamp at night is not only easier to see, but it also makes it easier to see the other things around it. Sure, it shines just the same during the day, but its strengths are much more visible at night.

The lesson here is to go where you’re celebrated. Put yourself in places where your strengths can have their moment, and you’ll soon realize how valuable and appreciated you are. Instead of feeling unimportant during the day and consequently giving up, the lamp simply waits patiently for its, excuse the pun, time to shine.

For more practical tips on how to embrace and be your authentic self, check out this article.

4.) Ajá kì í rorò títí, kó ṣọ́ ojú’lé méjì.

No matter how tough a dog is, it cannot watch over two separate houses.

Have you ever been burnt out trying to do it all? Ever depleted yourself by trying to be everything to everyone all at once? If this sounds familiar, congratulations — you’re a normal human being.

Hyper-independence, while an extremely common lived experience among many Westernised adults, is stressful, exhausting, and isolating. There are limits to what we humans are capable of before we crash and burn.

Yoruba people strongly believe in collaborating with others, of being part of a collective. The community spirit is celebrated widely and cooperation with other people is highly encouraged, in all areas of life. There is no need to go it alone — sharing the load is seen as a strength, not a weakness.

In our increasingly individualistic Western society, this “it takes a village” mentality might be something we can adopt for greater prosperity. Humans are social beings, and the benefits of community-based living have a direct effect on our mental well-being, safety, and success.

I’m still working on my tendency to “go it alone” in times of duress, but I do know that on occasions where I do let someone in to help me, I feel infinitely better and the results of whatever endeavour I’m embarking on always turn out significantly improved. If you’re the same way, please let me know I’m not alone.

5.) Gbólóhùn kan lè ba ọ̀rọ̀ jẹ́; gbólóhùn kan náà lè tún ọ̀rọ̀ ṣe.

One sentence can spoil a conversation; and, one sentence can make it better.

In case it isn’t clear by now, words mean a great deal to Yoruba people.

We are encouraged to consider the power of the things we say and monitor how we speak to people. Misusing our words can cost us greatly. Consideration for the feelings of others is free and it fosters fruitful interpersonal relationships.

Be steadfast in what you say, and use your words for protection, but don’t use them as a weapon to hurt people.

Summary

1. Olójú kan kì í mọ’yì Ọlọ́run à fi tí nǹkan bá gbọ̀n si — A one-eyed person is rarely grateful to God until they’re blinded.
2. Bàtà orí àkìtàn náà re òde ìyàwó rí — The pair of shoes now on the rubbish heap was once worn to a wedding.
3. Àtùpà kì í níyì lọ́ọ̀sán, ṣugbọ̀n a máa gba’yì lọ́jọ́ alẹ́ — Lamps are not valued in the afternoon but do get appreciated at night.
4. Ajá kì í rorò títí, kó ṣọ́ ojú’lé méjì — No matter how tough a dog is, it cannot watch over two separate houses.
5. Gbólóhùn kan lè ba ọ̀rọ̀ jẹ́; gbólóhùn kan náà lè tún ọ̀rọ̀ ṣe — One sentence can spoil a conversation; and, one sentence can make it better.

Apply these proverbs to your life and watch how your perspective changes for the better.

It’s been a pleasure sharing my culture with you, dear reader. I hope you found this article insightful.

Want to see more of this content? Check out my other Self-Improvement articles or my Nigeria-related articles!

Thank you very much for reading! If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to leave them below.

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