There’s One Thing I Would Like To Do in 2022, At Least Two Thousand Times

In response to Coffee Challenge: Why I want to be a better me in 2022

Once again, I have a long list of new year’s resolutions. I keep writing them down, even if they are repeated year after year, even if I have accomplished some of them. It’s not fun any more.

Next year I will change, and look for something different. Actually, I must admit that even if I was busy and I worked hard, in 2021 I felt lonely sometimes. That was my deepest struggle, especially because it is not something you can easily talk about when you have family and friends. Loneliness is a very personal feeling, a sense of emptiness that you can’t just fill by practicing sport, reading a book or meeting people. It’s there, waiting for your next sad moment.

So, I know there is something I missed a lot this year, and I want to practice as much as possible in 2022. It will help me feel stronger and less isolated, and I hope it will inspire others to help people in need. It has a lot of physical and mental benefits, and most of all, I like it because it is part of my personality.

It’s hugging. Next year I want to hug as many people as possible: family, friends, colleagues, neighbors. People I meet for the first time. Children and elderly people.

Imagine meeting someone you care for. You are happy to see this person and a powerful force attracts you towards his body. You need to hug him, it is something you can’t resist. So you surround the person with your arms, and while you hold tight you feel his body against yours, and if you are lucky you might even smell his perfume, which will give way to a lot of memories. You will touch the wool of his coat, and feel his chest under your arms. You will feel his breath on your neck. In a minute, you will compare the body you are touching to the last time you met the person, and ask him: “Hey, you look thinner, did you lose weight, how are you?” And start talking about your life after you let go of the hug. You will share love and warmth. A unique and wonderful experience.

Is hugging just something I miss, or is it important for all of us? What are the benefits of hugging someone? Here are some of the positive effects of hugs.

1. Hugs reduce stress

When a family member or friend is in a difficult time of his life, give him a hug. When you show your support through touch you can reduce his stress, and he will feel less lonely in his fight. He will know you care.

2. Hugs can make you happier

When you hug or touch a person, your body releases Oxytocin. It is a chemical that scientists call the “cuddle hormone” which is associated with happiness and stress reduction. This hormone can help relax and lower anxiety.

3. Hugs help reduce your fears

If I receive a hug when I am stressed or afraid, I feel less isolated and stronger, I become less anxious. I think “Ok, I will make it”. Why shouldn’t I give the same feeling to another person?

4. Hugs increase your feelings of belonging and your self-esteem

Hugs heal feelings of anger and loneliness. Hugging is a shared experience: you’re both giving and receiving affection. Hugging shows us that we’re loved and that we deserve love.

5. Hugs help you communicate with others

Most communication takes place verbally or through face expressions. But touch is another important way that we can send messages. Hugging is a comforting type of touch.

Apparently, hugging has the same beneficial results as other healthy habits like meditation and exercise, which I keep writing on my year’s resolutions list. Yet hugs are quicker, require less effort, and they leave time to continue with the other goals that you have written on the list, with a better mood and a new energy.

Hugs teach you to let go and be present in the moment. They encourage you to flow with the energy of life. Hugs connect you with your heart, your feelings and your breath.

So, if you want to feel better about yourself, reduce your stress, improve communication, and be happier and healthier, give and ask for more hugs! Start by asking for them from friends and family members closest to you first, hug your beloved pets, and then become more courageous and seek for more hugs! Get out of your comfort zone! When you reach out for a warm embrace, you show that you care and you tell the other person: I am not alone, you are not alone.

Ok, this is my main resolution for the new year, but let’s make it real: how many hugs do I need? What daily step shall I take to accomplish my new year resolution? Family therapist Virginia Satir said: “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”

Let’s limit the effort to the maintenance part: 8 hugs a day, it means more than 2 thousand hugs a year. In 2022 I will be definitely busy hugging, I hope I still have time for myself…

That is my plan for next year: I will show people around me that even in their most difficult times, even when they don’t feel loved or make mistakes like I did, they matter to me and they are not alone. In 2022, I will not be alone.

Thank you Winston for inviting us to a new writing challenge at Coffee Times

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