There’s No Winning!

Small Business Owner Crazy vs Faceless Corporate Decisions

Most of my working life, until recently, was spent as a minor cog in a big engine. For over a decade I worked at a prestigious hospital here in New York. After years of being a per diem employee — lots of working holidays — I discovered that all my boss had to do was approve a change in my employee designation. He had no issues with that but my immediate supervisor got cranky about the paperwork. Them’s the breaks, Sunshine.

Then the bean counters decided to eliminate my position.

Much as I groused about having to “clock in” using my fingerprint when a new CEO came on board until I spent four years working for small, one-boss businesses, I didn’t know how good I had it.

My experience in working for six different small businesses in four years is that people who set up shop for themselves often do so because they don’t play well with others.

• I have had bosses illegally change my designation from employee to contractor to save money.
• I have had bosses ignore repeated emails and then freak out because I’m actually out of town like I said in the emails and unable to revise the work.
• I have had bosses promise that I’d be a W-2 employee and then pay me with personal checks.
• I have had bosses change their payment structure a week after starting the job.
• I actually had a screamer. A boss who tore into our workspace yelling and calling us names.

The boss I worked with the longest was actually a lovely guy. Smart and empathetic, he genuinely worked like crazy to make sure clients were happy. But he was incredibly disorganized. The poor guy couldn’t go more than two weeks without losing his phone. He’d repeatedly set work we gave him aside and then forget where he put it so we’d have to print it all out again. He often brought his kids to the office and would expect one of us (women) to keep them occupied. The chaotic nature of that office negatively impacted our ability to provide for our clients. It also ensured a quick turnover of employees who couldn’t take the boss’s unmanageability.

Another boss worked exclusively with clients from one country. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but he’d get on the phone with a client and we’d have to close his door because of the shouting and, yes, profanity.

Back to the corporate grind — thank you, Baby Jesus!

A little over two years ago, when I was hired by another large, prestigious organization — this time a medical college — I had to re-learn the corporate dance of being onboarded. There was the appointment to get cleared for a security badge and then the trip, on another day, of course, to get the photo taken for the badge. There was a three-hour orientation on my first day before actually going to the office where I’d be working. There were endless forms to sign, passwords to set up, health care insurance details to be considered, and the traditional tuberculosis screening.

All that was after three interviews. One with the recruiter. One with the prospective supervisor. And one with the Big Guy himself, the Editor in Chief. The others lasted 45 minutes to an hour. I sat down with the EIC, answered his clipped questions as succinctly as possible, and was out of there in under twenty minutes. I was certain I didn’t get the job. I was wrong.

Even though there were things I didn’t like about that job — hello! Real world calling — I discovered that working with people who behave professionally (aside from some office gossip) was kind of restful. I liked going into a work environment every day where people understood their responsibilities and fulfilled them. Most of the time.

Where the boss, even when clearly annoyed, never swore or called anyone names.

And, by virtue of having made it through the gauntlet of all those interviews and the entire onboarding/orientation process, I was reasonably confident that I had been hired because they believed I could do the work. And I did for the 18 months I worked there. However, another aspect of the corporate business model is that all workers are essentially machine parts.

It’s a Mug’s Game; There’s no Upside

I quit working for every one of those small businesses. I actively sought other work and as soon as I had another job, I was out the door. If I hadn’t, chances are I’d still be working at any that managed to survive our current pandemic insanity (realistically none). Those bosses may have been bat-shit crazy, but they also didn’t want to go through the hassle of hiring new people. All I had to do was go along with their foibles to continue drawing a semi-decent paycheck. No benefits, of course, but a regular income could be counted on. Mostly.

But at both that high-profile hospital and at the prestigious medical college I lost my good-paying positions with benefits when my position was eliminated due to “budgetary considerations”.

In some fantasy Utopia, there are good jobs for everyone. The pay is fair, the paid time off copious, and the work environment is friendly and efficient. Co-workers don’t back-bite and bosses communicate clearly. And as long as we’re doing our work well, we don’t have to lay awake nights worrying that we’re going to lose the job. And, WTH, as long as we’re playing with unicorns in the clouds, why not go all the way to Universal Basic Income so we can all do whatever we want and not have to start sleeping outdoors.

The Bite of Reality

Welcome back to reality, Pumpkin. It’s nice to dream. But we’re living in a brutal world where, until recently, losing a job could actually mean going without food.

Recently, I completed the third and fourth in a series of interviews for an Editorial Coordinator position with yet another large corporate organization. The interviews seemed to go well — but then they usually do — especially the last one. We were scheduled to talk for forty-five minutes and finally signed off after fifty. Towards the end of our pleasant chat, my interviewer told me that I would be speaking with his boss as the next step.

Still waiting to hear about that next step. In the meantime, AleXander helped me set up a dedicated workspace in the bedroom. Also in the meantime, I got the bizarre news that we are officially impoverished enough that I qualify for Medicaid — which is by far the best health care insurance I’ve ever had! — making me, shall we say, ambivalent about the possibility of going back to work.

Reality dictates that if I’m offered this position — I’m no dummy — I will sign on every dotted line and proceed with the virtual onboarding. And I’ll do this knowing full well that there are no guarantees. We have always lived in an uncertain world but this year the uncertainty stakes are off the charts. I may even start to get used to that. Or not.

However, I’ll tell you this much: I’ll take corporate uncertainty any day of the week over an unstable boss who lies or calls me names.

Clearly, I’m privileged to have a choice.

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