COURAGE | HOPE | DESTINY | INSPIRATION | LIFE
There’s No Magic Wand
Happiness is a choice
Have you ever had an ah-ha moment…like a sudden gust of wind that swept away dense fog to reveal a whole new horizon? I have. When I finally conquered the bully in my mirror, a stone wall hiding my soul suddenly shattered. I understood how that girl in my mirror had sabotaged my life for decades.
I finally realized no one could steal my confidence regardless of what they said — not even the whispers of my own self-talk. I alone chose how I felt inside. Conscious or not, my beliefs held the secret to who I was, the direction of my life, and my future success. I figured out just who my enemy was––and the battle forged forward…while my self-image soared.
At first, I assumed I needed to defeat my inner bully, but over time I realized her tenacity and strength drove my confidence — or lack there of––so defeating that bold asset wasn’t in my best interest. Befriending my bully…using her power and determination to fuel my self-confidence made more sense. With her strength of conviction feeding me positive messages instead of negative fears, she’d embolden my confidence instead of weakening my resolve.
When extreme expectations trigger destructive self-talk, they also fuel negative energy and insecurity. Yet, in my experience, most people expect more from themselves than they do from others. So, maybe that’s not necessarily a negative quality. Introspection and self-reliance set high standards and goals.
One of my all time favorite quotes created a strong life affirmation:
“If you reach for the moon and miss, you’re still among the stars.”
I’ve lived by that standard for years now, thanks in part to an old high school friend who drifted into my adult life. He possessed an energy and confidence far beyond anything I’d ever experienced. Richard boosted my self-image without even realizing it.
He didn’t say or do or anything to boost my self-esteem. In fact, I’m sure he had no idea I was insecure. But who he was inside radiated from his core. He lived in the moment, never looking backward at anything or anyone he might have lost.
Richard energized me with his exuberance and outlook on life. I felt so alive just being around him. No matter where we were or what we did, I felt elevated, as if I absorbed a kind of spirit or fire, and my own passion and confidence soared. I wanted to hold on to that feeling all the time. Hence a second affirmation to live by:
Each of us has the power within to change our destiny, but you can’t move forward with one foot stuck in the past––Casi McLean
I wasn’t sure how Richard managed to feel so comfortable with himself. It wasn’t something I could ask him either. I mean, he had no idea how to live any other way. So, he haad no way of relating to what I was seeing.
Richard just exuded confidence naturally, and I relaized if I wanted to feel that kind of self-assurance and conviction, it had to come from within myself. So, how could I restore that inner flame I had as a child? Surprisingly, the answer immediately blossomed from a seed I had already planted. Affirmation three:
You are what you believe.
Let me give you a real life example. One day, I heard an interview with a man celebrating his 110th birthday. When asked to what he attributed his longevity, his reply was simple. “Every day when I wake up, I have a choice to be happy or sad. I choose to be happy.” His beautifully clear explanation stunned me. Could life really be that simple?
The answer is YES! That old man’s philosophy stuck in my mind, and I began to see how the drama in my life stole my happiness. If I continued on that path I’d never find happiness––any more than I could find my way to Florida by following a map to California. Like the old man, I needed to choose happiness.
Of course, life is rarely perfect. My mother always said:
“No one promised you a rose garden.”
And she was right. We all face obstacles every day. Some are small and others, life changing. But if we dwell on the bad things in life, we live there with no promise of ever escaping.
I’m not suggesting you ignore the drama that inevitably occurs in life. No one can avoid the pain and loss that is part of the human condition. We all love and bleed the same and my compassion runs deep. And yet, I still look to find at least a small silver lining in every day…and I generally succeed.
And so it is with you. No magic wand for happiness exists. But you don’t have to live in drama. Wake up each morning and make a choice…find your silver lining. You just might find your own happiness.
- *Side Note: Take a look at my other articles on Medium — like this one: The Thing About Dreams
Connect with me on social media and here on Medium.
Maybe you’ll discover something about yourself that might help guide you to live your own dreams.
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Before I go, I want to tag a few writer friends for you. I think you’ll love their stories.
Dr Mehmet Yildiz, Tim Maudlin, Jeff Herring, Brenda Christopher, MaryJo Wagner, PhD, Vickie Trancho, Jesse-Melva Johnson, Sunita Pandit, Peg Duchesne, Benecia L. Ponder, John Kremer, Jacquelyn Lynn, Kelda Ytterdal, Phil Truman, Nomanono Isaacs, Rick Hoefer, Ellen Mogensen, Dave Kwiecinski, Joan Kent, PhD, Roger Himes Esq., Terri Ward, Nicki Walsh, Susan Joy Schleef, Nancy H. Vest, Dr Jeanne King PhD, Nile Nickel, Cynthia Charleen, Linda Miles Murray, Thomas Anderson, Andrew Poletto, Linda Halladay
