There’s No “Magic Happens” Outside Your Comfort Zone
Many people are making misleading definitions of “comfort zone”. So let’s make this clear.
When someone says “Get out of your comfort zone, because it’s where the magic happens”, I doubted it. Even I was very skeptical about it.
I was feeling comfortable with my place, but I also felt amazing and fantastic with what I had. Why should I get out of this zone if I already feel the whatever-kind-of-magic happen? Can’t I just be happy and content in my place?
I started looking for the definition of “comfort zone” all over the internet. 27 google-searching later, here’s what I concluded:
When we are in our “comfort zone”, we are in a psychological state in which things feel familiar to us, we feel in control of our environment, and we experience low levels of anxiety and stress.
I accepted this definition in my head. But it was 3 years ago — when I’m in my adolescent years and pretty much still figuring about life.
Now, however, with the rise of social media and the ever-growing attraction to the self-help industry, some of us might have different understandings of “comfort zone” as I stated above.
Many people think that “getting out of the comfort zone” means recklessly quitting a job or breaking up with a toxic partner; when that’s not necessarily the case.
Remember that the keyword here is comfort. The word “comfort” itself means a pleasing feeling of being relaxed and free from pain or constraint.
Therefore, getting out of the comfort zone means learning, growing, and break free from the zone in which we have a heightened sense of control and security, where we feel at ease and nothing new is happening.
If you’re already pushing yourself to be better, taking risks, trying new things, and growing; then it means you’re not or no longer in your comfort zone.
And I can guarantee you, you can’t be forever “relaxed” and “free from pain” once you’ve entered the learning zone or even growth zone.
A friend of mine once confused if she needed to stay in her comfort zone or not; she had a job with an “enough” salary, her relationship was doing well, her social life was manageable, everything in her life seemed fine, no hardships or serious problems ever occurred.
Her life was safe, acceptable, and comfortable. But she was in a stagnate place. Stagnate basically means that we stop moving, developing, and progressing.
For me, this is a nightmare. I don’t know what differentiates me from rocks the second I stop learning anything.
In addition to that, once we feel comfortable doing the things we usually do, we will get into repetition mode. And when this happens, our brain’s learning centers essentially shut down. The brain is — literally and figuratively — dying. It may lead to memory problems, brain fog, and depression.
The beautiful trap
The next occurring problem if you stay too long in your comfort zone is you can get into the beautiful trap. I call it a “beautiful trap” because you think it’s good for you, but it’s not.
From a psychological perspective, what nested inside the comfort zone is a little rabbit hole — called the complacency zone.
The complacency zone isn’t necessarily a negative; it’s simply a flat, featureless landscape that holds no surprises. Living in this space often leads to a sense of feeling unfulfilled, directionless or lacking purpose.
That’s why, in my friend’s case — even if she thought she was in the right place — she felt empty and miserable. She was anxious and dissatisfied with life.
Even if she didn’t directly tell me about it, I knew that deep down; she desired more. She wished for a better job; she longed for a better social life; she thought maybe a better house, car, or even better partner would make her happier. She thought she could get better than what she currently was. I knew it because I was in her shoes.
Suddenly the comfort zone is not comfortable at all.
Because the key thing about a comfort zone is, it’s not always comfortable. But it’s always familiar.
You’ve been there for a long time. You’ve got used to it. Why bother to change? You think all of those “I can get better” voice is just a noise in your head that keeps you away from joy and happiness. So you ignore it.
But it’s quite the opposite.
The comfort zone may be safe, but what does it deny? Enthusiasm, wonder, curiosity, and infinite possibility beyond the mind’s limits.
Your comfort zone is your own ‘imaginary bubble’ that separates you from growth. It drags you away from true happiness. It lets you stay in the status quo and furthers you from any change because of the fundamental fear of the unknown.
The force behind your comfort zone is your fear.
Fear is indeed ‘good’ since the trigger for fear is usually a threat, harm, or to avoid feeling pain. It’s human nature that we go to great lengths to avoid pain. But ironically, fear of pain itself can lead to suffering. No matter how unpleasant pain is, it’s necessary for our lives.
Life provides incredible possibilities, but you can’t take advantage of them without facing pain.
By staying in the comfort zone, you end up relinquishing your major goals, dreams, and aspirations. It’s too unfortunate.
Most people would rather stay in their comfort zone and live passive lives without accepting responsibilities. They drift through life, waiting for things to happen rather than making them happen.
No magic, just growth
Being inside your comfort zone — or what I like to call an ‘imaginary bubble’ — might feel good temporarily, but it’s dangerous for your well-being in the long term.
Outside your comfort zone, there lay all those experiences, changes, emotions, possibilities, and opportunities that you aren’t allowing yourself to see. If we don’t try something new, we won’t succeed at anything new.
Getting out of this place may be scary and not comfortable at all, but through learning and perseverance, you will reach the growth zone that will help you achieve your most cherished dreams and become the person you really want to be.
You don’t have to expect “the magic happens” out there, but no matter how cheesy it sounds, trust me: it’s really worth the try.