There is Nothing Wrong with Being Gay
It is simply a different attraction
Some of America’s more conservative, older Evangelical Protestants seem entrenched in demonizing gay people.
The good news is that there is nothing wrong with being gay.
God’s Design. Many Evangelicals in America insist that gayness violates God’s design for the human race. Such Evangelicals say that gayness is “unnatural,” a mistake. Therefore, if it is a disorder, something can be done to get gays “back in order.” That something was conversion therapy.
Conversion Therapy maintains that something went wrong in the natural bonding between a father and his gay son. Thus, it was the dad and son’s fault for becoming gay. Such a theory has been assumed in America for the past 60 years.
The problem is that the theory is rubbish. There are countless cases of boys who bonded well with dear old dad but just happened to turn out gay. Conversely, innumerable cases of boys did not connect well with their dads but still turned out straight. Multitudes of dads blamed themselves for their son’s gayness. Armed with this erroneous theory, multitudes of sons blamed their dads for their homosexual orientation.
In reality, we do not know what makes someone gay. Or, for that matter, what makes someone straight. But we now know that men with a same-sex attraction will never be able to extinguish it.
There is nothing wrong with being gay. It is simply a different attraction.
Bible. There are five passages (to be exact) that proclaim men who have anal intercourse with other men are an “abomination” and deserving of death. Furthermore, homosexuals cannot attain the kingdom of heaven.
It is astounding how many Evangelicals in America still cite the five “clobber passages” as proof that God hates homosexuals.
In reality, each of those five Bible passages refers to horrible homosexual practices that were common in the Middle East before and during the era of Jesus. In that context, men of power (i.e., status or wealth) could anally rape a less powerful male — to humiliate the lesser esteemed male. The powerful men raped their slaves or the young boys assigned to their “care.”
Such sexual assault does not resemble today’s love relationships among gay partners.
There is nothing wrong with being gay. It is simply a different attraction.
Psychologists. In the early 1900s in America, psychologists seemed bent on explaining that gays were in an acutely disordered condition. They argued that all males were supposed to be attracted to women. Such was simply how humans operated.
It was not until the 1970s that American Psychiatrists refused to label gays as a disordered condition. Their verdict:
There is nothing wrong with being gay. It is simply a different attraction.
Government. Leaders in America declared that being gay was a threat to national security. They presumed that a closeted gay man could be faced with a situation in which he either shared top secret info or would be outed.
Thus, for decades gays were not allowed to be in the military or government positions.
In reality, no case existed where a gay man gave away national secrets to keep himself from being outed. And yet, millions of people were barred from holding governmental positions.
There is nothing wrong with being gay. It is simply a different attraction.
Education. At some point in a straight boy’s education, he is taught about sexual intercourse, safe-sex practices, and the glory of love.
However, some schools now resist teaching gay boys that same information as it applies to their gay sexuality. Certain conservative parents maintain that to teach gay-related sexuality is to teach sin. Thus it is a moral infraction to teach about gay sex.
In reality, at whatever age a straight boy is supposed to learn the facts of sexuality, then at that same age, a gay boy needs to understand the information as applied to his homosexuality. However, some states (e.g., Florida) want to withhold information about gay sexuality entirely through middle and high school!
There is nothing wrong with being gay. It is simply a different attraction.
Relationships. Straight men generally follow a “relational blueprint” wherein the man becomes attracted to a specific woman. He then dates her, and they fall in love, commit to each other in marriage, and engage in erotic behaviors.
Gay men follow that exact same blueprint: attraction, dating, marriage, and eroticism.
In reality, there is no difference in the romantic and erotic patterns of straight men compared to gays. Straight and gay alike may indeed engage in erotic behavior before marriage. Likewise, sexual abuse may occur with straights or gays. And conversely, sexual purity may be found among straights and gays.
There is nothing wrong with being gay. It is simply a different attraction.
Marriage. Straight men typically participate in an elaborate marriage ceremony. All sorts of family members and friends attend. Both pre-spouses are dressed in their finery. An officiate gives a sermon about love and commitment. Everyone cheers when the husband kisses the bride, and the darling couple proceeds back up the aisle. It is the “over the top” sealing of two lovers in matrimony.
And yet, all too often, gay couples cannot experience the above marriage ceremony bliss. Some relatives may object to their gay marriages and refuse to attend. Accordingly, sometimes the gay couple goes to a justice of the peace to gain a marriage license. This form of becoming married is hardly what romantic marriages are made of. It all seems so unfair.
There is nothing wrong with being gay. It is simply a different attraction.
Conclusion. Whenever a gay person feels ashamed of his gayness or is denied his equal rights, it is most healthy for him to remember the following mantra:
There is nothing wrong with being gay. It is simply a different attraction.
Dr. Mike Rosebush (Ph.D., Counseling Psychology; he, him, his;) is the creator and editor of GAYoda, plus a writer for Backyard Church. A short synopsis of Dr. Rosebush’s life can be found at I Lived the Most Unusual Gay Christian Life Ever. He may be contacted at [email protected].