There is no wasting time

Time

A series of linear moments or experiences, a measure of sequential natural biological or cosmic growth. A unit of measure of the progress of a staged activity with a defined goal.

Time and again I have felt like a failure. I was born a non-identical twin, after my sister, in 1963, two days before the Federated States of Malaya became the Federated States of Malaysia.

If I had my “time” again I would have lived happily with my birth parents and siblings, not been inter-country adopted and raised in another country, with another culture and race.

If I could wind back time, I would not have been molested by several brothers when I was 11 years old and witness to others being abused.

Fast forward to 30 years of age when I had spent the time in between then and coming to Australia at 15 months of age, surviving, along with supporting my sister.

We were alive and well, but what had we done with our time?

I had completed a Bachelor of Applied Science degree in Biology and a Post-graduate Diploma in Social Research and Evaluation, but not got work in either field, despite trying.

While trying to study South-east Asian Studies, including a language course on Bahasa Melayu, and looking into studying cybernetics or economics, an acquaintance at Uni once said to me that I was wasting my time, never finishing much.

I felt humiliated and stressed. I felt ashamed and obsolete. This comment added to my existing lack of confidence and feelings of low self-worth.

He was right, I thought. I won a scholarship for a Graduate Diploma in Education but never finished it, and this was because I had a job already and found that secondary school teaching was, after all, not something that I thought that I would like doing.

What a waste of time, I thought. I felt guilty that I had cheated somebody else out of a scholarship.

I spent a lot of my leisure time on my two loves: reading and writing. I nicely plugged in the spaces between “times” when feelings of my being bad or not good enough reared themselves full frontal.

I also spent a lot of my time on voluntary services: helping the Activ Foundation look after disabled teens at a camp, giving primary school children their breakfast through the Australian Red Cross, writing information guides for the Conservation Council; helping Community Aid Abroad (later Oxfam) and running jumble sales at work to help fund refugees.

As time slipped away, I felt like a hybrid person; some of me in the past trying to make sense of it, and parts of me passionate and hopeful about the present and the future.

Sometimes I looked back and thought I spent all those years on not doing much. But I was comparing myself to “What if …. ?” and I learned at a young age that I can’t turn back the clock.

It’s no help saying “What if …” but the question is “What is?”

I never wasted a single moment of my time. Time is a social construct and a unit of measure that we use to organize ourselves in a linear mode.

What we do with our “time” is what we have to do. We learn and we change. Learning, surviving and growing are not wastes of time.

I survived and although I may not have spent my time in an imagined “successful” alternate Life (like having my own family and / or being in a highly paid writing or research or teaching position), I have achieved a lot because I am dedicated, organised and creative, and I try different things.

Most of the doing is in the planning and in the trying

Today I run 6 WordPress blogs, including a collaborative Book Reviewers site, and a blog on helping others use WordPress.

I founded a community information group on MeWe, an alternative platform to Facebook, have supported colleagues at work through innumerable written job aids or guidelines, and have written 25 chapters of a fantasy novel for teens.

I believe that my versatile writing skills are valuable, and over time have had a net positive impact upon myself and others.

In Chinese lore, the Pi Xiu or Pi Yao is a mythical hybrid creature that signifies good fortune and wealth.

Time is a bit like the Pi Xiu or Pi Yao

Time is not exactly what we think it is, but through a mix of actions it brings us good fortune and an abundance of goals and plans to meet those goals, if we honor time and let ourselves experiment and reason and apply and learn and do.

There is no wasting time, because time is malleable or flexible in terms of what we do or create with our moments.

The way to start up in Life and keep going is to remember that time is our teacher.

Together, the teacher and the taught create the teaching.

About the Author

Celine Lai was born in Malaya (not Malaysia) and is the oldest inter-country adopted person in Australia. She loves reading and writing, and runs WordPress blogs and writes technical documents. She blogs mainly on Fascinating Animals.

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