There Are No Family Recovery Experts- not yet.

I used to think I was a family recovery expert. Until I became a family member in need.

For the most part, “family recovery” is a woefully incomplete concept. I was one of those people who thought I had it figured out. But my ideas were massively incomplete. The “family recovery” domain falls short and much work is needed. This is not surprising. The field is yet to address this issue. It’s the wild, wild west right now. No man’s land for families in need.

For example, What if, the pain felt today, is NOT solely due to the circumstances of the day. What if this goes way beyond the fear and uncertainty of a loved one’s struggle?

We get all caught up in “family recovery” techniques and slogans. At its core, the message is always the same. Regardless of the specific group or person delivering the message. The message is essentially the same.

Talking points include (some version of the following):

— set boundaries

— let go and let God.

— detach

— “practice self-care”.

— find someone to call for support

— find a group

— meditate

— do some yoga

— “do you want to do an intervention”?

And, of course, boatloads of horribly problematic advice coming from stunningly unqualified “recovery advocates” on facebook. Statements like: “don’t even talk to the person unless they are ready to go to treatment”.

And, of course, the sickening emergence of the body broker profession.

And on and on and on….

It’s all the same old shit.

BUT what if there is more to the story.

GO DEEPER

What if one has experienced trauma UNRELATED to your loved one’s addiction? Perhaps something traumatic occurred as a child (and, for the record, all of us have something to work on).

And then you pile trauma on top of trauma. The very real trauma of a loved one’s illness.

One must work on the original trauma and the original issues if one hopes to “recover”.

I can not effectively cope with my loved one’s health issue unless I effectively cope with my past.

#depthpsychology