There Are Good Friends and Then There Are Besties

The select few on my bestie list have these special qualities

Many people cross our path throughout life. We meet them at different places, circumstances, times, and stages of our life.

Parties, weddings, work, schools, and colleges are some popular places where friendships begin.

There are also those rare encounters when a stranger shows up under unusual circumstances — such as at a moment of tragedy, grief, and loss. They hold your hand and lead you through a most difficult time. They cry with you. They dry your tears. Then they’re gone.

Then there are those people in your life who are ever-present, whether it be to share your happiest moments or to brave storms with you. The precious memories are evident beneath the aged yellow plastic of a dusty photo album.

They’re at the weddings. The joys of conceptions. The birthdays. The achievements and celebrations. They watched over your kids when you needed them the most. They watch them grow into adults.

These are good friends. They hold a special place and significance in your life. They leave unique footprints you’ll remember them by. Ones you’ll always cherish.

And then there are the most special of friends — those who are truest and dearest. There may be a few, or there may be only one.

How do you identify these unique individuals?

I’ll admit — I have very few friends. I am a sociable person but not necessarily the friendly type. I enjoy my own company most of the time. I like quiet moments and find pleasure in reading a book while others attend parties.

Nonetheless, I have two friends who fit into that “most special” category.

There is Sharon, my roommate from college. We don’t see each other often, especially in recent times. But whenever we meet or speak with each other, it’s evident the friendship is real and still alive.

We were there for each other during the most vulnerable phases of our lives. We share lifetime memories forever etched in my mind.

And then there is my friend Ana. I met her when I moved to New York 7 years ago. Our friendship came about as a result of a chance encounter with her husband, a stranger at the time, at a neighborhood supermarket where my mother lived. It was only two days after my son and I arrived in New York to begin our journey as new residents.

As I stooped to pick up a can that had fallen off the packed shelf in the supermarket aisle, we struck up a conversation that led to me asking if he knew of any place that was up for rent.

I had no idea at the time that he and his wife owned a real estate and management company business.

We got lucky. We had the keys to a new rental in a nice neighborhood with all the desired amenities. It wasn’t very long before we owned our own apartment in that same building.

Ana and her husband have been there for us from that very first random supermarket encounter, and have made our lives easier as we settled into a new country after moving from Jamaica. They’ve become more than friends — they are family.

Sharon and Ana are the two friends whom I handpicked as my besties.

We share moments and memories that I will forever treasure. We love each other for who we are. We’re respectful of each other. We give more than we take. We forgive without an apology.

All that being said, here is the one thing that sets them apart from the rest.

They tell me the stone-cold truth about myself even if it hurts or offends.

I cherish that quality.

Telling a friend the ugly facts isn’t easy. Try it next time. You will likely find your friend’s mouth on edge to defend themselves before you can even complete your sentence — they will feel that doggone offended.

Which is why most people refrain from being completely honest — all to avoid a potential confrontation. So instead they disguise their true feelings.

The courage to point out to a friend when you feel they are wrong — that’s what defines a unique friendship.

Besties take constructive criticism from each other even when it’s hard to swallow.

Ask yourself this question.

What kind of a friend would you consider yourself?

And while you ponder, here’s just a couple of reminders …

• Be kind in all you say and do.
• It’s not what you say but how you convey it.

I’ll leave you with these final words — why just be a good friend? Be a bestie.

I almost forgot to mention — I just added my fellow writer (and editor) Art Bram to my bestie list. He edited this article. Art did not shy away from giving me constructive criticism and did so in the kindest of ways.

Art, I appreciate you. Thank you for helping me become a better writer.

Can you identify the besties among your friends? What sets them apart from the others. Could you share with me in the comments?