Summary

The article "The Write to Heal: How to Use Writing As a Healing Tool" discusses the therapeutic benefits of writing for emotional relief and healing, particularly for trauma and grief survivors, and distinguishes between beneficial writing practices and those that may hinder progress.

Abstract

The article emphasizes the cathartic potential of writing for individuals dealing with emotional trauma. It differentiates between story-telling that focuses on "I" statements and details of past events, which may lead to rumination and a victim mentality, and therapeutic writing that encourages self-exploration and processing of how the past influences the present. The text highlights the importance of moving beyond mere recollection of traumatic events to achieve personal growth and healing. It suggests that poetry, blogging, and writing memoirs can serve as effective platforms for therapeutic writing, each with its unique advantages and without necessarily requiring the guidance of a therapist. The article also points out that while story-telling can initially provide relief, it may not lead to long-term healing if it lacks reflection and self-awareness.

Opinions

Story-telling in the form of "I" statements and a focus on past details can lead to a victim mentality and hinder therapeutic growth.
Writing that emphasizes self-awareness and the connection between past experiences and present behavior is more conducive to healing.
Poetry allows for creative expression without being confined to facts, facilitating emotional healing and personal growth.
Blogging can provide a platform for sharing healing experiences and receiving support, but it requires careful consideration of personal disclosure.
Writing a memoir can be therapeutic, offering a sense of completion and the ability to convey a message beyond one's own story.
The absence of memory in adult survivors of childhood abuse should not prevent therapeutic writing, as the focus is on the influence of the past on the present, not on recalling specific events.
The process of writing, whether through poetry, blogging, or memoirs, can contribute to healing without the necessity of a therapist, although professional guidance may be beneficial.

The Write to Heal: How to Use Writing As a Healing Tool

Writing is a well-accepted practice for emotional relief. Mental health professionals use a variety of writing techniques to address issues with clients. Trauma and grief survivors use writing on their own as a cathartic practice. However, not all writing has the same benefit.

World of Words

Story-telling is modeled after the AA recovery from addiction. “I” statements are encouraged for a person to take responsibility for their actions. The story has a beginning, middle, and end with a focus on details of the person’s behavior.

Survivors of childhood trauma who frequently write “I” statements and use “should” and “could” experience little therapeutic benefit. Story-tellers can get stuck in a victim mentality.

Limiting writing to details of the past is called ruminating. No processing occurs with rumination. Instead, the story becomes a part of the survivor’s identity. It can be told by rote memory with no feeling at all. But, no matter how many times the story is told, growth does not occur.

If a survivor writes out the details of the abuse from beginning to end and holds their story close to their heart, then their past is always speaking for them.

At first, a survivor may feel a sense of relief. However, depression is likely to return if they have no direction once they run out of listeners. If therapeutic growth has not occurred, victim mentality may return.

The absence of memory is one more obstacle to story-telling. You can’t write what you don’t remember. Adult survivors of childhood abuse often experience post-traumatic stress patterns without a precise memory of the harmful events that cause them.

In therapeutic writing, memory is not required because the writing focuses on how the past influences the present rather than writing about the details of the past.

Writing the Wrongs

Writing for therapeutic growth requires the survivor to make connections within. Self-exploration is required. The survivor has to ignore what is happening in front of them and try to understand what is happening within them.

For example,

Story-telling: “I’m tired of being treated like dirt. People have no integrity and respect. I’ve never been protected since I was a child. I don’t trust anyone. How can I trust when I never learned to trust as a child?”

Trauma Processing: “Somehow, I keep experiencing negative relationships. I get really excited and let people in. At some point, I give away power without even realizing it. People start distancing themselves from me, and I start clinging because I don’t want to be alone. I feel like I’ve been alone all my life, and I want to stop being alone.”

In both examples, the feeling of abandonment is expressed. In story-telling, the focus is on victimization. The person is analyzing how they are victimized by others. In trauma processing, the focus is on self-awareness. A therapist is sometimes necessary because self-exploration is an interpersonal skill that many survivors lack early in the healing process.

However, the writing process can be used on any platform including, poetry, blogging, or book writing. No therapist may be necessary to get started. Use as many platforms as you find comfortable. I have used all three of these platforms, and find each has its advantage.

Poetry

The goal is not absolute truth because you have access to metaphors and wishful thinking. You are not confined by a linear timeline. You write from your imagination, and your heart, not your mind. Write about desires, dreams, fears, or fantasies. They are all fair game in poetry. Bring in the past, present and future as you see fit. Re-write and edit as much as you like.

I noticed a beautiful progression in my poems over the past ten years. I write with more surety and clarity. My beginning poems served to affirm my need to heal. I hadn’t sorted out the narrative I needed to heal.

“…Even Christ had a last supper

But no one gave her a meal

Before crucifying her on a cross

By telling her,

You’re so beautiful I have to have you,

With or without your consent” (2009)

Later writings reveal my strengths.

“Look how you have grown into female agency

And keep right on living gracefully

As the world witnesses the true power that you possess

With surprise that it cannot be found underneath your dress

But is reflected from within your soul

That is evolving into something new and letting go of what’s old” (2015)

The beauty of poetry is the contribution it makes to the world. It can heal the heart of the writer while healing the heart of the world. I carry several poems in my heart and frequently create impromptu audiences and deliver inspiration. You can’t do that with a book or blog. Nevertheless, they have advantages too.

Blogging

Sharing a blog with the world allows for input, which could be good or bad. People can be cruel or kind. So, you have to think carefully about how personal you want to get.

You don’t have to write about your personal experience. You can write about the healing of trauma and grief in general, and still receive some benefit. However, you have a professional obligation to deliver accurate information when you are speaking outside of personal experience.

The advantage is the support and affirmation that can accrue over time. You build an audience that becomes your fans for life. You can receive affirmation that can neutralize past trauma.

Blogs can also turn into memoirs over time. I blogged about the healing process for survivors for over 5 years before I wrote my memoir. I spent a lot of time and effort becoming an expert while teaching myself how to heal. I wrote daily, and rarely shared my personal experience. Reading feedback from subscribers affirmed that I was exploring the relevant issues.

Memoirs

Writing a book is no small feat compared to poetry and blogging. Blogging over a consistent period of time is the best path to writing a book. As you blog, you receive feedback on the receptivity of your writing.

You also can feel a regular sense of completion rather than having a year-long project that you don’t know how it will turn out. The overwhelming majority of books that are written are read by less than 100 people. So, make sure you are writing your therapeutic memoir for healing purposes.

Have a message, not just a story to tell. In my memoir, I told how and why I hid thoughts of suicide. I disclosed accumulating health issues that evolved from my attempt to show success while hiding trauma. I drew on a picture of pain in the absence of the memory of childhood trauma. The message was that “silence is not a quiet space.”

Healing can occur through many modalities, and a hundred reasons exist for writing. The paths of healing and writing never have to cross. The beauty is when they do.

References

Bakari, R. (2019): When You Can’t Go Home Again: Because Home Is Where the Hurt Is. https://readmedium.com/when-you-cant-go-home-again-aaae8cfd26d2

Neuman, E. (2019): Blogging and Journal Writing, What’s the Difference? https://readmedium.com/blogging-and-journal-writing-whats-the-difference-c5de5504b0a6

Oppong, T. (2019): Writing as Therapy. Medium.https://readmedium.com/writing-as-therapy-dc8c1af65ab8