The World Needs You to Move Past Your Fears
Yes, you sweet soul — if you don’t live out your passions, you are depriving all of us
One of the biggest regrets of the dying is not living a life that’s true to themselves and their dreams. Those that are nearing the end of life often wish they would have listened less to the voices and expectations of society and more to the voices within. Most of us have heard this before…so then what is it that keeps us stuck?
Why don’t we all move past others’ expectations and take that leap into trusting what wants to born from within and expressing that full out? Why do we hold ourselves back even when we know that our inner gifts will ultimately benefit all those whose lives we’ll touch?
The naked truth is because we are afraid. We face an internal battle that is so deeply ingrained in humanity that we don’t even notice that it’s there. Even while we want to live our best, authentic lives and to help serve others, there’s a fear that this may cost us something we all want more than chocolate and wine combined: being accepted and loved.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
You can be all of it — and still be loved
This is the internal battle that most people face at some point in their lives: sharing what’s deep within that we know has the power to uplift others — whether it’s through words, music, art or other sources of passion VS the fear of being judged and not being accepted for everything we truly are.
We all want to be ourselves. We all want to live our best lives. We all want to serve humanity in some way so that we know our breaths have mattered. And if we don’t bring this fear to light, we’ll just keep shoving it in the background and go on doing what we don’t like doing in hopes that this is the safe bet to keeping others’ judgements at bay.
The truth is that you will be loved and accepted regardless of how you choose to express yourself.
Not everybody will always agree with your ideas or expressions — and that is completely ok. Yet that is often the reason that so many great ideas are withheld from the world. Learning to recognize this urge to want to be accepted by all is a huge step to moving past it.
Have a cup of tea with your fears
I can’t even count the times when I’ve been wanting to express my ideas — whether in writing or verbally — and I held myself back. Not because the ideas weren’t flowing but because I was afraid. Do my ideas and feelings even matter? Who cares? What if I write something that people judge me for? What if others think my ideas are silly and too out there?
What if ultimately nobody will love me for who I am?
What often happens is that I don’t end up writing at all. If I do, I just keep the writing to myself. Or if I decided to put it out there, I spend waaay too much time editing in order to make my writing “fit” into societal expectations.
I admit that I see this fear in myself. So what I’m learning to practice more often is to be ok with that. To take a breath, settle into my body, and feel the fear…to sit with it without pushing it away. Then once I know that I am not the fear — because there’s a part of me that is aware of it — I can more consciously respond to how I want to proceed next.
You can sit with your fears without them taking over you because you are NOT them. If you were, who would be perceiving those sensations in your body to begin with?
Bring in the full power of your brain
Once I recognize the feelings of fear, I bring in the logical part of myself. Rather than giving into the limbic system’s pre-programmed fears for survival, I turn to the prefrontal cortex for help.
I examine my assumptions — are these just conditioned thoughts and fears that aren’t even mine? What is the worst that could really happen if I express what’s within me? Will the world really turn against me? And even if it did, does that threaten my survival?
If we could stop confusing our desire for social connection and approval with our fear of physical survival, many more people would be out there finally living their dream life AND serving many others while doing it.
See the thing with fear and stress is that it comes down to feeling afraid for our very own survival — it’s our brain’s mechanism to protect us. But the truth is that most of us — at least in the Western world — have our physical needs met. We have shelter and access to food.
What we’re really dealing with isn’t fear for our physical survival, it’s fear for our social survival. But our brains interpret these fears the same — that’s why they both feel so real.
Making passion stronger than fear
The ultimate question this all boils down to — at least for me — is this:
Is my desire to share my messages of hope, love, and inspiration and to help others see their own power — through the language of science and compassion — stronger than my fear of being judged?
Much of what I want to express is out of the box. A concoction of ideas that don’t seem to fit together. Ideas that don’t seem to fit the image people have of me as “this” or “that.” But the thing is that I am none of it and all of it at the same time.
And for me that’s always been the greatest internal battle — accepting that I am both the profane and the profound.
I am a child of nature who feels wonder and awe at the little things. I am a lover of all things intellectual — from dabbling in concepts in quantum physics or neuroscience to studying the worlds of finance or philosophy.
I am a sweet gentle soul who wants to provide words of kind inspiration even while the bold alpha aspect of me wants to do it in a way that stirs people to take action. A part of me wants to shed light on all of those fears we all fear but are too afraid to speak up about…and then the very same fear prevents me from expressing that aspect of me!
Ultimately I long to help relieve others of their pain — to become compassion in action. But if I keep giving into the fear of not being accepted, how many souls am I potentially depriving of being uplifted today?
How many people aren’t receiving those gifts you have within because you’re afraid they won’t like them?
You came here to push life beyond its limits
Dear soul, whoever you are that’s reading this. Know that even if what wants to flow from within you is controversial or not in line with how what you think society deems “normal” or “acceptable” based on their image of you — it is important to get it out there.
It’s your duty to live in line with your inner truth. When you don’t, you feel it in your body. You feel the discomfort. Perhaps even right now…
What’s that knot in your belly telling you? What should you be getting out there that you’re holding back dear one?
See, pushing life beyond its limits and living in alignment with that inner voice is not easy. There is an inner resistance that we all have to face. But so do stars. Even as they expand through nuclear fusion, they have to push against gravity. Yet ultimately it is the push and pull of both forces that keeps the star in existence and that allows it to grow.
“You only know yourself when you go beyond your limits.” Paulo Coelho
Do it for humanity
Pushing your own limits expands the limits of humanity. Think of all the “greats” out there. The greatest thinkers and scientists in the world were not the ones who repeated what’s been done before. They didn’t take the easy way out. They felt the resistance — perhaps they too were afraid of being judged and looked down upon for having ideas that seemed to far out. But they did it anyway. That is courage. That is compassion in action.
Think of all the great inventions, equations, and works of art that we would’ve never seen if these people gave into that desire to conform. From Einstein to Galileo to Steve Jobs — without the passion to do it despite being seen as “crazy” — our worlds today would be much different. They didn’t know if their ideas were going to work out or make a difference…but they knew they had to act to release what was in them.
“Your time is limited so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” — Steve Jobs
And you’ve got something in you that you have to keep pushing out, even when you feel the fear — just like I do. We are both made of stardust — and we have the very same power to expand beyond the world’s limits as those stars that are expanding despite the pull of gravity.
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Rebecca Romanelli: thank you for writing the 5 Biggest Regrets of the Dying article that provided a source of inspiration. Thank you for being you!
