BurgerTime

The Wine-Drunk Italian Chef, Vol. 5

Grandma’s Big Gay Vietnamese Cheeseburgers

“Grandma’s Big Gay Vietnamese Cheeseburgers.”

Ok, right about here I’m certain some of you are already thinking, “What the hell?” How can a cheeseburger be gay? Or Vietnamese? Well, pump the brakes, check your attitude, and open your mind. Your Wine-Drunk Italian Chef is back and ready to teach. Vaffanculo!

First, let’s pop this bottle of Snoop Dogg cabernet.

“Bow wow wow, yippee yo, yippee yay, Doggy Dogg is in the motherfuckin’ HOUSE.” And his wine is quite bootylicious. Salud, to your health.

Ah, now that’s nice. Time to get to work. Before we get into the actual process and recipe, let’s discuss the origin of this name.

Grandma’s: Grandma’s recipe

Big: Indicative of the size

Gay: Grandma’s married last name is “Gay”.

Vietnamese: Grandma is Vietnamese, born in Vietnam.

Cheeseburgers: Well, duh.

So yes, Grandma’s Big Gay Vietnamese Cheeseburgers. I love the Big Gay part because it confuses people and it’s also a reference to one of my favorite South Park characters, Big Gay Al. He’s FABULOUS. I’d invite him over for these delicious burgers if he wasn’t a cartoon.

So how is it possible that the best homemade cheeseburger recipe came from a 5-foot Vietnamese grandmother? I don’t know what to tell you about that. I’ve often wondered how she came up with this killer recipe.

What I do know is that Grandma Gay wanted to be sure that I could make her version of cheeseburgers on the grill or stove for her two grandchildren who enjoyed them. They were moving to Texas some years ago and she wanted them to be able to enjoy them when she was gone.

Little did she know that this Wine-Drunk Italian Chef would love them so much, as well. This recipe has become a favorite of the family and I’ve made it many times for extended family and friends. Marone!

Let’s now discuss the ingredients of this amazing burger recipe:

Ingredients for Grandma’s Big Gay Vietnamese Cheeseburgers

• 1 large yellow onion, 1 red onion, 1 bunch of green onions
• 1 medium pack of baby bella mushrooms
• (1) 16 oz. tube of ground Italian sausage
• (2) 16 oz. tubes of ground beef
• 1 large scoop of garlic from a jar
• 2 raw eggs
• 1 1/2 cups of bread crumbs
• 2 large spoonfuls of Worchester sauce
• 2 large spoonfuls of olive oil
• Liberal shakes of Italian seasoning, onion powder, garlic salt, garlic powder, and bold Greek seasoning into the meat mixture
• Slightly fewer shakes of chili powder, cayenne pepper, and paprika
• Your favorite kind of cheese slices
• Your favorite BBQ sauce

As usual, I have Lefty the Pro chopping the three types of onions as well as the mushrooms. She’s slicing and dicing just like I’ve taught her, but this time it’s not related to the family business. It’s burger time!

That sure make-sa one giant meatball! Capiche? But the three pounds of meat mixed with three onions and the other ingredients will form into 1/3 lb big patties very nicely.

We mix all of the ingredients except for the cheese slices and BBQ sauce into our largest mixing bowl, as seen in the picture above. Add the spices and liquid parts after mixing the two types of meat, onions, and mushrooms together.

After forming the giant meatball into 10 larger patties, fire up the grill or stove. Cook these carefully, they are best served medium or medium well done. Due to the thickness of the burger patties, cook time can take a bit longer than with frozen patties, but it will taste a shitload better.

Once both sides have been cooked, it’s time to top each one with cheese, then remove them from the grill. Now it’s a burger party.

Well almost. I like making french fries and homemade fry sauce for these delicious burgers. French fries are easy enough, and the family fry sauce recipe is pretty easy too.

Two large scoops of mayo, almost as much ketchup, and then just a couple of squirts of cock-sauce.

I need to clarify about that one. I’m talking about Sriracha, with the big rooster on the bottle. You know the stuff. Usually found in Asian restaurants, in big red bottles. It’s incredible, and a couple of decent squirts of it into the fry sauce makes it that much tastier.

We’ve got our french fries. We have our spicy fry sauce. And Grandma’s Big Gay Vietnamese Cheeseburgers. To hell with Carl’s Jr. or Five Guys. The Wine-Drunk Italian Chef’s mother-in-law’s recipe will beat anything you’ve attempted to make before.

Let us know if you enjoy this one as much as we do. From my family to yours, may you enjoy the flavor and share great food and laughter together. “Buon appetito!” &:^)