The Will Slap

Of Course He Did

I have read so many stories about Will Smith striking Chris Rock my brain is quite soggy with opinions. I didn’t watch the Oscar, nor did I see the moment when Will offered the slap until much later.

Ever since then, I’ve seen clips of disasters, faux pas and the like in the history of television awards all over social media. It’s like the cloud has encased the planet in a microscopic glass.

Someone gets burned daily

I was born and raised on the REZ. I can say that to nearly every Indigenous person on the continent and maybe the world, immediately creating an understanding between us. It means a perspective most Canadians, Americans and other settlers/colonists do not know or understand and an ongoing educational process to help them do so.

So, after Chris Rock and Will Smith, both lauded in the acting and comedy world, had their moment on national TV, my first thought was, “ohhhh crap”. I was amazed as Will threw the glove and Chris handled it like a gentleman. What else could he do?

My next thought was to look for more information regarding the circumstances. Why do that right then and there? There had to be more to it.

My following thoughts were how this would affect Will, his family, his fans, his career and seven generations down the road?

Next, I wondered, “How do I feel about that? How does that affect me as a person? How does that affect me as someone who works in the arts?” I started thinking I should have a great answer just in case anyone asked me. No one did, so I’m glad I didn’t. I would have been lying.

My final thoughts were, “Of course he did.”

Where I come from during the years I was growing up on the REZ it was a matter of fact. Making a bad joke about someone’s wife, husband, child, sister, brother, niece, nephew, cousin or friend created immediate and retaliatory consequences.

“Heard you were talking about me.” It was the scariest words you ever wanted to hear growing up because you immediately knew what they meant. It was the order to take a fast mental checklist. What am I wearing, is my hair loose? In a ponytail? Which earrings do I have on? Who are they really upset with me or someone else who said it was me? Dang, my shirt buttons up the front. All of this took few seconds to go through your mind before you answered, “When?”

It’s no wonder all my friends and relatives became fans of mystery, murder, and mayhem in film. I bet I can call any of them, and they have not only seen every episode of CSI, Bones, and NCIS they are rewatching them. We all know.

It’s all about perspective.

Like the photograph by Nadine Shaabana above, I am so happy my perspective is at odds with the socially acceptable norms of the day. Because of this I questioned everything about the Oscars incident talking to people, reading online accounts, watching phone videos from seat sitters and guests alike.

I could almost hear my Father’s voice saying, “Believe nothing of what you read and only half of what you see.”

If that was the case, I had to really consider Will and Chris’ moment as not just one incident. I had to consider how many other incidents had piled up inside Will Smith to such a degree that one joke, a really bad one mind you, would light the fuse to fire them all from Will’s right hand.

I remember as a child there being a wedding anniversary party for my parents at our home, filling it with friends, relatives and community acquaintances stopping in to give their best wishes. Early in the gathering I saw my Father pick up one of the local jokers by his shirt collar and pants and throw him over the railing of our porch. The Joker tumbled and rolled across the grass, still laughing. He got up, apologized to my Dad and went home.

I wondered what the man had said that made my Dad so angry. Sad and embarrassed that it happened, I found out later it was an off-colour joke about our mother. Even as a child, I knew that was not a good idea. Of course, my Dad literally threw him out, and my memory of Joker will always be that perfect tuck and roll.

He understood the offence and the punishment. That was our world then.

Today’s world, and even some of you reading this, are probably aghast at this treatment. Violence is not the answer. It is the slogan for everything from anti-bullying campaigns to the Will and Chris’ debacle.

If violence is not the answer why is there a war in Europe?

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe in bullying, and I work to prevent it everywhere. Having been bullied excessively as a child and many years afterwards, it’s not difficult for me to spot and put that fire out. Wars? I don’t think violence is the answer either.

My Dad reacted in a way that left no misunderstanding. Those were the social norms of the era he grew up in and raised us in. His role was to provide and protect, and he knew that. So did we.

Violence by definition is an extreme human reaction. It is the tool of the aggressor. Yet even the most gentle man or woman pushed to the extreme to protect who and what they love will react violently, either inward or outward. There is no amount of advertising, campaigning, teaching and exemplifying that will stop it or change it.

Understanding Will’s motivation still doesn’t make the public slap any more acceptable, but it does help me make sense of it.

After all, the calling out of an offender to duelling pistols, glove slap, or swords are from days gone by. In many countries, it was illegal and any two caught in a duel were put in jail for however long the existing Crown decided they would stay there. Regardless, people still challenged one another.

This is what I believe the Will slap was, especially catching his words to Chris after he sat back down. “Keep my wife’s name out of your f — — ng mouth.” I believe Will had reached his limit. He demanded justice. Fortunately or unfortunately for him and his family, the entire world got to see it.

Regardless of the Comedy mantra, “nothing is sacred,” apparently there is. Prostituting your integrity as a gentleman or gentlewoman for a joke to tell is not acceptable. Paid or unpaid, the words “just kidding,” do not make the pain of being the butt of a joke hurt any less. It does not undo the damage that has already cut deep and leaves wounds that sometimes never heal.

Although much drama still surrounds Will Smith and Chris Rock’s experience on that night, I think it has given the entertainment world a kindness. It was extremely simple, and Chris saw it instantly. He admitted the joke had not been run by Will first. That would have been the respectful thing to do.

Will Smith missed a great kindness to himself and others by being honest and admitting that, when there’s too much trouble of heart and mind, it’s best to stay out of the public light whenever possible. He also might have thought about leaving his ego at Oscar’s door that night. Maybe they should have printed it on the invitations.

What did I learn? That I’m glad that I quit watching the Oscars long ago and that Ricky Gervais is probably arranging for someone to slap him as part of his act right this moment.

That my perspective of the world is still is and probably will always be very different. That my father’s instructions to think critically and look for the underlying factors are alive and well.

I’ve realized that growing up on the REZ created experience and knowledge from an era when a slap in the face was the end of the matter — not the beginning.

I also learned that many people secretly admire Will for having the balls to get up and protect his wife’s name even if it was embarrassing, clumsy and inappropriate. Really.

Lastly, I learned more about Jada Pinkett-Smith through her reported behaviour since the incident than anyone else involved. I can tell you that right now true or not, every gramma I know would first make medicine for her illness and sweetly give her instructions for its use. Then every one of them would pull her into a corner and give her what for, then set her to making fry-bread alone for an entire pow wow weekend. In heels.

Will would be parking cars.

Elizabeth Hill is Kanienkeha:ka (Mohawk) and writes from experience and a passion for storytelling. She is a songwriter, multi-disciplinary artist, and writer whose work has taken her to exploring Indigenous lands and voices around the world. Exchanging songs, ideas, the power of sound and stories to celebrate the beauty of the good mind upon the earth she is an extremely dedicated artist.