The Weird and Ridiculous Things Men Constantly Send in My DMs
Most women will confirm.
You know it, we all know it.
Whether you want it or not, your DMs are going to be hijacked by people you don’t even know wanting to send you something, to ask you for various, to communicate whatever, basically to make their presence known and request your attention.
That attention that you have so little of. Especially for unimportant things.
Who are these people constantly asking for attention? There are some MLMs here and there, but not enough to mention.
If you’re a woman, you know who they are: men hitting on you.
I didn’t want to say in my case so that you don’t think I’m some special case that men flock to. I’m not and they don’t.
All women I talked to get the same treatment.
What does this treatment include?
1. Dick picks.
OMG, so many dick picks! I know it’s useless to keep reminding men that we don’t want to see their junk plastered all over our screens, but hey, I thought I’d give it one more shot.
Just don’t do it. It’s not hot. Nobody wants to see that. Women function differently from men, we don’t get aroused by unrequested stranger genitals.
People were even offended when Tommy Lee did it and he’s a damn rock star. If a rockstar can’t pull it off, what makes you think you can?
Stop showing it to everyone. It’s a surefire ticket to make a woman disgusted by you.
So just don’t.
If you’re a hetero guy receiving an unsolicited dick pick, you recoil in disgust, right? That’s exactly how it feels for a woman.
Now you know.
2. Marriage proposals.
Out of the blue, without even knowing me: ‘Will you marry me?’
I guess it must be some good pickup line, especially coming from men who imagine it’s the crowning achievement of a woman’s life, otherwise they wouldn’t be offering it so fervently.
I remember something similar was happening before I had a car and I had to walk everywhere. As I was walking down the street, in broad daylight, some guy coming from the opposite direction would lean in as he was walking past and whisper in my ear: ‘I want to l*ck your p*ssy.’
It happened countless times.
Why? What exactly do you imagine you’re offering here? Do you think I have nobody to do that for me? Is it such a prized activity that you imagine other men don’t do and you’re the provider of ultimate sensual delights?
I’m sure a lot of men reading this won’t even believe me. But do a simple test. Ask your girlfriend. Your wife. Your… well, not your mom.
But ask the women in your life and you will hear awful stories about all sorts of unrequested daily sexual energy directed at them.
3. Hook-up proposals.
Direct, straight-out-of-the-blue hook-up proposals.
‘I have a hotel room that’s waiting for us at (insert address here), just give me a chance and you’ll have trouble walking the next day.’
(Side note: why would I want somebody to cripple me?)
My first thought is usually that it might be some ex-boyfriend who had one too many.
So I check the profile. Nope! They’re usually guys I’ve never met, never even heard of. No idea if they had one too many, but I can only hope they’d never do that sober.
One of my friends even had a photo sent to her by a guy lying on the bed with a rose in his teeth. He was ready for action. She didn’t even know him.
4. Threesome proposals.
As if the instant hook-up wasn’t stupid enough, here comes the threesome proposal.
This one unknown guy wrote to me once to ask:
‘Can I confide in you?’
Again, I thought maybe I knew him and this was something about a common friend. Nope, I didn’t know him. He was actually a priest. With priest clothes and everything.
‘No, you don’t even know me,’ I answered.
‘But can you promise that you’ll never tell what I’m about to tell you now?’
‘No,’ I repeated.
‘I’m going to tell you anyway because you look like a trustworthy person.’
Obviously, he really wanted to share this with me.
Next thing I know, he sends me a photo of a semi-naked woman.
‘Do you like her?’ he asked.
‘What exactly do you want?’ I replied although it was already obvious.
‘She really likes you — what do you think?’
‘I think you’re a creep.’
‘No, really, what do you think?’
‘I think you’re a priest and you should be in church or I’m going to tell your whole congregation.’
He blocked me.
Oh, yeah, let’s not forget: sometimes they block me first.
5. Playing stupid.
Sometimes there are no pictures involved. They’re just hitting on me.
I made a Twitter account not too long ago. It’s entirely related to freelance writing and there are hardly any photos. None of me except the profile pic.
And still…
‘Hey, how are you?’
‘Doing great, and you? How can I help?’
‘So you’re into writing, huh?’
‘Yes, can I help you with anything writing-related?’
‘Maybe, but just trying to get to know you better. What you like, what you’re into…’
That’s the point when I directly ask them if they’re hitting on me.
And instead of either saying yes and moving on when they see I’m not interested, or saying no and telling me why they messaged, the most common response is ‘I don’t know what you mean’.
And they go on with the same pointless questions as if nothing even happened.
Yeah, play it stupid, guys. That’s really attractive!
6. Work proposals with a hidden agenda.
I’ve done a lot of work for men who were only interested in dating me. Although it’s frustrating, I still got paid and they still didn’t get dates.
Among other things, I’m a painter.
‘Can you please paint a springtime for me?’
‘I create abstract art. I have several examples on my site if you like any of them. Or if you have a different color scheme in mind, I can work on that for you.’
‘How about a nude of yourself?’
See where this is going?
Shortly after Covid, I did a charity auction — the money made from 20 auctioned paintings was used to buy computers for children in impoverished families who would have to attend school online.
Almost half of the paintings were bought by men who had 0 interest in my paintings but thought it was a good opportunity to ask me out. It wasn’t.
7. Insults, stalking, and abuse
And here comes the best part. Once these guys consider themselves rejected, they become absolutely vicious in the way they treat the one who rejected them.
A few months ago I made accounts on Tinder and Facebook Dating. I closed them back down after about 3 days. Online dating is not for me.
I just didn’t expect the amount of stalking that ensued.
I live in a city of 400,000 people (so it’s not a massive metropolis that people can get lost in).
While I was actively promoting my art, I suppose I became familiar to a lot of people on social media, and when they saw me on dating sites they thought they were closer to me than they actually were.
Here’s a message from Facebook Messenger:
‘I saw you on Tinder and Facebook Dating and now I found you here too!’
It seemed like a personal little triumph.
‘Uh… that’s a bit invasive’ I said.
‘Why?!’
He felt so offended as if he had been rejected by a friend he cared about and he finally found after so many years apart.
‘Because you saw me there and we didn’t match in those 2 places but you thought it was a good idea to try in a 3rd place, my personal account?’
‘Do your cheekbones have filler implants?’ he asked right after my explanation.
‘There we go…’ I sighed.
‘I’m just curious’, he said innocently. ‘You don’t answer, that means they are. I knew you weren’t as beautiful as you pretended to be.’
One of us blocked the other. I don’t remember who.
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