Weddings and Horrible relatives you have to be nice to

The wedding had to be attended as it was my lovely nephew Josh who was getting married.

But like any big family event there’s always going to be a few people that you don’t want to really ever see again in your entire life if it’s possible.

These people are people who you feel have wronged you in some way, or they definitely have wronged you in some way, or someone you love, and so, quite rightly and justly, you hate them.

Not ‘stand outside their house shouting like a nut, and throwing rocks through their window’ hate; … just hope to never cross paths with them again, and maybe sort of hope some shit happens to them that you’ll get to hear about, and go tee hee ‘ hate.

So really the hard part is that you know you harbour a pathetic sort of hate, one where you know that societal expectations will absolutely overrule your preferred desire to embody the personality traits of any Viking ancestors.

There will be no smiting.

Historically my hate for certain people extends to things like avoiding areas where they live just in case I see them at the shops and had to say ‘Hi!’ and be all nice. Argh.

And yet you know you’ll see them at the wedding.

And you know you will have to talk to them at the wedding, and say ‘Hi!!’ in that ‘glad to see you voice’ and smile at them, and deal with your thoughts about being a fake and not being at all like the movie characters that never have to do this stuff because movie characters are big on vengeance.

So that’s what we expect we should do, but we don’t do we?

But I’m thinking, maybe I could avoid them if I keep moving and make sure I’m being busy finding others to talk to, pretend I didn’t see them, if I can pull it off without appearing rude.

But you never can can you?

Their faces are always the ones your brain picks up in a crowd of faces, and they somehow always end up there one step to the left and suddenly they are face to face with you and you are looking at them and they at you, and it would seem that a hug was in expected, as they haven’t seen you in sooo long.

Now, I was raised on revenge both through the cartoons and movies that everyone watched as children and later. The idea that I don’t need to explain to anyone who ever watched tv or saw a movie is, that good guys get poned in some way by bag guys, they suffer along a bit, and then through various means get revenge on the ones that did the poning.

The movie always goes that way, or we would want our ticket money back.

We all love the idea of ‘Karma’

We all rejoice in this concept for there is not one of us that does not get poned but can not usually do anything about it, because things will just get worse.

So, when you grow up you hear that people have to ‘forgive and forget’ ‘let it be’ ‘stuff happens’ and ‘karma will get them’ you get that, you have to.

Otherwise you would find yourself outside their house one day wearing a viking hat, with a fist full of rocks and all their windows would be endangered, and… you would also get arrested and everything would get worse.

And to top it off I have recently sought out peace in my life by studying Eckhart Tolle, and I do want to live a peaceful life. I have chosen that. Peace towards myself more than others.

So I find myself on a step at the wedding looking into the big face of someone who is looking at me smiling away, who is a historical family jerk, who hurt my sister a lot by running off with another woman and leaving her with three children to raise, although I’m not sure the workload changed for her much when he left because during their time together he never helped her with the children or housework, but she loved him and nearly lost her mind when he left.

So he stands there smiling, proud father of the groom, and he appears to all the world as a well dressed happy faced, bombastic older man who is glad to see you and wants to talk to you like you are an old friend.

His mistress is right beside him holding his hand possessively.

I’d already decided to be neutral and respectful. I knew my soul needs this sort of behaviour or it beats me up afterwards.

I hugged him as required, and then found myself by social necessity, hugging his mistress, the scarlet women who so hurt my sister.

I have always told my sister that she should actually send a Christmas card every year to that woman, as she did her a huge favour by getting rid of that man from her life, and she should thank her for it every year with a card.

She always laughs.

But back to the wedding.

Being a photographer I have a camera. And I can choose who I do and don’t photograph. If I do photograph someone, I can also choose wether to photoshop them slightly fatter, or attractively thinner.

That is the evil power that I possess.

I wasn’t the official wedding photographer, I was a guest, but of course I bought my camera, I was only going to take a few, but hey, when you start, by habit, you start.

I didn’t, nor would I have, NOT photographed those two in the groups, and I did actually make an effort to photograph two others who I also sort of hate, as way of an offering to the gods, or some sort of penance for lord knows how many crimes against my own soul, or for karmic reasons, sins that I have committed, or something like that.

And it was good that I did that.

But, shall we say, that when I sent the photos of the group shots, out to my sister, I had wielded the power of the Photoshop wand, and she had lost just a few kilos, had a boob lift, and lost a few wrinkles, and the ex-brother in law, had gained a few kilos, and so had his mistress.

Sigh.

So, I can’t be good.

Better but not good. Not really good.

So, understand these were not the official ones, and my ex-brother in law would never see them being well out of the family loop now, but my sister will, and wether that’s a nice thing to do for her, or a petty and mean thing, I don’t know. Was it a karmic fail, I guess it was.

It would seem that I still have a long way to go to become enlightened.