The Warrior’s Stride
For many many years I consider you my foe, but now I see that my own inner thoughts were the enemy. You were just there to feed me and help me to realize that without the pain I could never heal, without the massive anger, I would never be at peace.
You surrounded my heart with a staircase of thorns and built your fortress in my mind allowing it to roam freely into disparity. You pranced on an injured soul and built walls way too difficult to tear down, but over those walls I saw the vision. I saw the fluorescent light beaming from afar among the valley of darkness. I saw the road to my future. Even though the road seems too far away, I allowed myself only a second to grieve for security that I will be leaving behind, for if I spend too much time there, I would associate the road as only a chore and learn absolutely nothing from the journey itself.
Your eyes tell a story rooted in hate and vengeance. I wonder, how long you would be cursed by your emotions. How long before you see the truth that awaits for you in the dark? I wonder how long I should even care. You left me with empty hands and a belly full of responsibility. I should curse you and never look back.
Your words never accounted for anything but for death/ your action awakens the dead
You depleted my self esteem and left me to suffer and beg for death/ left me unsure of where to plant my footings. Your presence tainted the air with poison energy, even the birds were without their beautiful melodies. You custom made my hell and told me that it was heaven. I listened to the ramblings of a fool to only realize that I was much more of a fool than you were, because I started to believe in the power of your leadership.
The hills that I climbed were steep, but it was nothing compared to the tedious mountains that laid amongst the clouds.
Why do you have so much power over me? Why does your rapture consume me?
The answer is: because I let you without knowing. Even though I was foolish to a fault, I understand that I needed you to find myself/ to find my identity which appeared in the mist of my storms that I created for myself. Those storms became my salvation. I was never a victim. I was simply a human who allowed ignorance to over shadow her true identity/ my spirit.
Gratitude
I want to say thank you for the long unfiltered ride to my destination. I must move on to bigger fleets now, but I know now that the real battle lived and breathe it’s first breath inside of me first. I know that all I ever needed to defeat you was to kill the beast inside.
Goodbye for now old friend. I am sure I will see you again, but I caution you that I will be equipped for battle in the days to come. I can foresee my victory. The blades of my words will be sharpened and forged with resilience and wisdom/ with strength and soundness/ with both love and hate. The armor of soundness will hover around my physical form with eyes of formation. The hyde of my skin will be impenetrable /indestructible. I will hand over my judgements to my own spirit who knows every truth that lies in dark corners. I will feed it with both light and darkness, for it needs both to win. Farewell, for I long to see you again!