Summary

A Ukrainian man recounts his harrowing experience of the outbreak of war in Kyiv, his subsequent escape, and the emotional toll it took on him and his community.

Abstract

The personal narrative details the onset of the war in Kyiv as experienced by a man who lived through the initial hours of conflict. He describes the disbelief and confusion upon hearing the president's 2 AM address announcing the war, the hurried escape from the city amidst chaos and bombings, and the surreal adaptation to constant sirens and bombings. Despite the trauma and loss of everything he owned, he expresses a profound longing to return to his life in Kyiv, his students, and the city he loves. The story underscores the resilience of the human spirit in the face of violence and the unsettling proximity of war to everyday life.

Opinions

The narrator initially doubted the reality of the war, reflecting a common psychological response to traumatic events.
The war's impact on daily life is portrayed as sudden and all-encompassing, transforming normal routines into a fight for survival.
The narrator and others adapted to the constant threat of violence, indicating a rapid shift in perception and priorities under duress.
The desire to return home despite the danger reflects a deep emotional connection to one's community and a sense of identity tied to place.
The mention of Thomas Moore's perspective on power and violence suggests a critique of the destructive capabilities of modern warfare and its psychological effects on society.
The proximity of the narrator's current residence in Spain to the conflict zone in Ukraine highlights the global ripple effects of regional wars.

The War Began In Kyiv, I Lost Everything, But I Am Not Afraid

…people become catatonic as a result of facing their potential death sentence. True story.

Photo by Chandler Cruttenden on Unsplash

I was born 10 kilometers from the Ukraine-Slovakia border, and my husband is from Moldova. Because we are natives from the area so close to Ukraine, the war conflict in Ukraine affects us whether we like it or not.

We have relatives and friends in Ukraine. This is the story of my husband’s childhood friend, who recently told us what is going on there and permitted me to share.

It was February 24th, and we were instructed to turn on the television while the president was delivering a speech at 2 AM. Our president stated in his speech that Vladimir Putin had declared war on Ukraine.

It took me a long time to believe it at first. It was strange to have a speech at 2 AM, no matter what the occasion. However, there was an unusual sensation in my stomach, which prompted me to ask questions.

Is it true? Is he just putting us to the test? My denial was the first response.

It couldn’t be true; Russians would never do that. It’s not feasible. So I went to bed arguing with myself that it wasn’t true.

Around 6 AM, I awoke because of the constant traffic noise, which was unusual. City life begins at 8 a.m. I looked outside and saw cars, buses, and people driving out of the city in all directions. I quickly got dressed and woke my wife, telling her to hurry up.

I had a feeling that we needed to leave and that it wasn’t safe. We packed some clothes and grabbed our passports and some cash, leaving everything else behind. But it wasn’t easy to escape the chaos.

People were racing about.

Everything was quickly intensifying; everyone was getting worked up. We first went to the ATM to get more cash, but the lines were chaotic and there was nowhere else to go but wait.

Suddenly, we heard horrible, trembling noises emanating from the sky, but couldn’t see anything.

Everyone stopped in their tracks as the city fell into deep silence; people in line, walking, cars, and everything else came to a standstill.

Then we saw huge fighter aircraft pass overhead.

Nothing unusual occurred, except that people become catatonic because of facing their potential death sentence.

When we returned to the apartment, the sirens were informing us to look for a bomb shelter, so we went there. Luckily, there was one in our place.

We did this drill several times throughout the day and night until we returned to the apartment later that evening. The bombings sounded like distant explosions.

The next day, I left the city with my wife, to friends who lived on the outskirts of Kyiv. They promised us it would be safer.

We fought through bombing sounds, gunfire noises as we approached our destination.

Honestly, I don’t have a lot of memories from this trip; it was too frightening for my mind to handle.

We spent four days at our friends’ house, where we heard sirens, bombing, and shooting noises regularly, ran to the basement to hide, came out to drink wine or tea to listen to the next bomb warnings.

But here’s the interesting part: I had no clue how people may cope with the trauma of war, as well as the perpetual dread of death.

After day 3, we were accustomed to the sirens, explosions, and shotguns.

We weren’t afraid anymore because we knew this was an essential element of our existence.

We simply focused on which way it was coming from.

The following day, we learned that the Russian military was approaching our neighborhood, and we were advised to evacuate or seek a new place to hide.

We weren’t safe any longer.

Fortunately, we had a car, so I brought my laptop, phone, passport, and that was all I could fit in. We couldn’t bring anything else with us because we wanted to fit six people in a tiny car.

We traveled west, driving past corpses on the road and abandoned tanks, with no rest until we reached Uzhgorod, which is the last city before the Slovakia-Ukraine border.

For now, we are safe.

I am safe. I lost everything, but I am not afraid.

I just want to go back to my apartment in Kyiv. That is all I worked for my whole life; I want to go back to my school and see my students again.

My relatives and friends.

I know it sounds crazy, but I want my city back. I want my life back. It was stolen from me.

I couldn’t help crying, listening to it, and recording it.

As Thomas Moore in his book The Care of the Soul writes about violence and need of power:

Bombs and missiles gives us constant, daily association with our own destruction. They are reminders that everything cannot be contained and controlled, that as a society we can kill ourselves and obliterate other people and the planet itself. This is a unprecedented fetish of power.

My town, Sobrance in Slovakia, is about 27 minutes away from Uzhgorod, Ukraine.

I’ve never felt so close to war, death, and despair.

I live currently in Spain, Andalucia, but my relatives and my father are at home, waiting for this darkness to pass. Even though I am not physically there, my heart and mind are with them all the time.