What I learned about life after waiting for a taxi all night long.

I did not own a car when I first started working. I was new in the city and I used to work about 13 miles away from my residence. During the day, I would walk about 4 miles one way after getting off a public bus to get there. After completing my shift at midnight, I usually asked my friend, Binod, to take me home. If he was not available, I had to call a cab. One night in particular, after finishing my shift at midnight, I called Binod for the ride. He was drunk. He barely spoke and he was delirious. So, I called an acquaintance instead. He said he was away for the night and could not come to pick me up. So, I used my last resort. I called for a cab, then I waited. I waited for 20 minutes. No one came. So, I called other local cab companies. I thought “Just another ten minutes till a taxi shows up”. It was a starry January night. I folded both my arms inside my dark brown hoodie. A cold gust of wind occasionally swam inside my body. I tried tucking all my clothes in my pants. Still, warmth left me like a warm cup of coffee cooling down on a cold day, faster than I liked. I wore all the clothes I had that night. That was not enough to stay warm. As I always get sweaty while walking, I did not have a lot of clothes with me. Later that night at almost two in the morning, a taxi arrived, and I got excited. I waved with a big smile on my face. As I was standing under a yellow streetlight, I had to slouch down in an attempt to get the driver to stop. My excitement died when the driver slowed down, looked at me, and just drove away. I waited all night shivering in the cold. I exhausted all my contacts. In the end, I decided to just wait.

While waiting, I often looked up toward the sky. I saw stars twinkling like my dream of owning a car: far and unreachable. It was difficult to stand outside, especially due to the cold wind gust. I was not distraught though. Instead, I was happy that I had a job. I had been looking for one for a couple of months and I was running out of money. I had been struggling in the United States, I was staying with two friends in a small one-bedroom apartment that did not have proper windows. My mom had just sent me a couple of thousand dollars to help out until I found a job, any job. If I had not gotten that job, I would have had to ask for more money which I was ashamed of. So, I was content that at least I working and had the means to pay my bills.

Around 3 a.m., I walked half a mile in an attempt to walk home; however, I quickly returned to the light pole like an insect hovering around a light source. My fears were “what if someone loots me? What if I get too tired by the time I reach home?” My mind just kept asking me a lot of questions. It was not the dark night that kept me there, it was my fear: a lot of “what-ifs”. I stayed put under the street light right outside my workplace thinking I was safe there.

“It’s just one night” I kept telling myself, “At least you have a job.” That night was not the only time I had realized that I seriously needed to buy a car. In fact, my first introduction to the importance of owning a personal means of transportation in the United States was when I first stepped outside the airport in the U.S. I was eighteen years old and I just moved to Missouri for further education. I hoped to grab a taxi and head to my destination. However, to my surprise, there was no taxi outside the small airport in Missouri. In contrast, there were at least a dozen taxis in Nepal at any time right outside any airport. The drivers were eager to grab your luggage and force you to take their car. It never crossed my mind to prepare for a situation where there is no cab. I ended up wandering around the empty airport with torn luggage for an hour before spotting a free phone booth. I used the phone in the booth to call for a cab. A taxi arrived in about 15 minutes. On my way to university, I did not see any people walking on the street nor did I see any public transportation. All I observed were endless stretches of roads and shiny cars. This experience taught me how important it is to own a car in the U.S. Despite my new revelation, I simply did not have the means to buy one. Often knowledge does not mean anything if you are broke. Reflecting back to that particular night, I ended up waiting six hours straight. Finally, a taxi arrived at six in the morning that was willing to stop and picked me up. I got inside the cab and gave him my address. I remember the warmth of the taxi and I fell asleep on my way to the apartment. When I got home, I quickly retreated to the warmth of my bed, as my next shift started at noon. Ironically, my dream of owning a car was not far away. My boss felt sorry for me and offered to lend me some money to buy a used vehicle. I coupled his money with the money I had saved, and I bought a used Toyota Corolla a couple of weeks later. I still remember the relief I felt when I could just drive to work and drive back home; however, how I learned to drive is a story best told another day. The first time it rained as I was driving my new car, I was taken back to a day that it had rained on me while I was waiting for a bus. I remember wishing that the entire day that I had an extra set of clothes. Now, with car ownership, these types of struggles were alleviated. As I became more financially stable, despite all the joys my car brought me, I started complaining about it. There was a subtle wind noise seeping through the driver’s side door. The road noise was way too loud in the cabin, the sound quality of the speaker was crap and the acceleration of the car was slow. I asked several mechanics about why my car is so loud, why it felt like my whole car was falling apart with every pothole I hit, and why it was slow. One mechanic responded that it’s a Toyota Corolla, not a Lexus. Apparently, the road noise was normal for my car. The wind noise could not be fixed because the car had been in an accident with the previous owner and the damage was not able to be repaired. Even with that crappy car, I often took long road trips with my friends. I traveled to many places in my car: Smoky Mountains, St. Louis Missouri, Big Bend National Park, several beaches in Florida, and many more. It was my sole means of transportation between school, work, and home for many years. It’s an understatement to say I like driving and loved the freedom it offered me. As I became financially sound, I started imagining that those road trips would be better with a Lexus. I imagined commuting would be nicer if I don’t have to listen to the annoying wind noise. The awareness that I could own a nicer car became an ever-increasing reality as I became more self-supporting and financially stable. Those complaints about my old car were always nagging in my heart. So, when life granted me the opportunity, I purchased a Lexus. Now that I own a Lexus, and with it, all my complaints went away. I find it unbelievably quiet as compared to my old car that had the wind noise. The sound system is awesome, and I can just listen to my music at a volume just enough to enjoy the tune without getting exhausted. These days, if I drive over a pothole, it does not feel like the car is falling apart. Whenever I hop inside my car, I feel like I am in a cocoon: safe and secure. My current car has been one of those places for me that I can unwind in. After a long day at work, I come back to my car and I smile. I smile because I have come a long way from where I was before. I came from living with two other roommates in a cramped one-bedroom apartment without any real windows to living in a high rise. I have come a long way from staying all night outside waiting for a ride to owning my dream car. Nevertheless, the problems never disappear in life. One night, I was driving back home after a long day at work. As I saw the skyline on the horizon, I heard a small rattle inside my Lexus. The sound was faint. I could not pinpoint the source. It sounded like the windows were reacting to the subwoofer’s low-frequency sound but my music was off. I tried opening and closing the windows multiple times. I could not fix the problem. It enraged me. The sound went away after a while but the rattle stuck in my head. When I arrived home, I parked my car in the garage. I looked inside my car to figure out the cause of the rattle. I did not find anything I could blame the noise on. I said to myself, “Maybe I should start looking for a new car.”

I scanned the key to access the elevator. As I was waiting, the concierge saw me.

He smiled and asked, “Sir, is everything okay?”

“Yes!” I smiled back.

“Let me know if you need anything.” He walked away towards his desk.

“Sure!” I smiled again.

I got inside the elevator and pressed the floor number. While it was heading up, I contemplated it’s a long journey I have walked. I stayed out all night waiting for a ride and remained glad that at least I had a job, to living a luxury life, and still feeling unsatisfied about a small rattle inside my car that I can’t even pinpoint. Just like the beeping sound of the elevator, there will always be problems in life, one after the other.