FICTION
The Very ‘Gallant’ Knight
Some humorous dialogue
Princess Persephony walked up to a door and stopped, affronted. She turned to the left. “Sir Renoldo, I heard that you’re gallant. Why are you not holding the door open for me as I enter the dining hall?”
Renoldo looked up from the white, chalky substance he was snorting from his shield. “I’m sorry princess, but I believe you misheard. I’m not gallant. I’m a gallivant.”
Persephony turned up her nose. “A gallivant?”
“Why yes, I just finished gallivanting across Turkey.”
“You gallivanted across Turkey?”
“Yes, it was great fun. I just barely got out of that situation with the goose-monger and the priest. The Catholics don’t like it much when geese desecrate their… holy statue things in those cathedrals. At least I can’t testify against myself. I drank enough for an infantry and hardly remember a damn thing. Remember that trick, princess.”
“I’ll have you know I’ve never drunk a drop in my life, and I’ll never need to.” The princess lowered her voice to an indignant whisper. “Now tell me… how is it that you’re still a knight? You’ve broken just about every honor — ”
“No one can talk about me, princess,” Renoldo interrupted. Persephony glared over, impatient, so the knight continued his speech. “Whenever someone calls me a gallivant, anyone listening thinks they meant gallant. You see, princess, no one knows what gallivanting is.”
“Another dishonesty. There must be such a thing as a word that means something very similar to another word, such that particular instances of vocabulary are not necessary for two parties to understand each other.”
“Well, lucky for me, princess, there isn’t such a thing as that! I’m still here.”
“You may be there, but you’re also insane.”
“Perhaps, princess.” Renoldo winked and leaned against the stone wall. Persephony began to walk away, before turning her head.
“Sir Renoldo, are you going to open this door, or not?”
This dialogue is a submission to MuddyUm’s December MWC.
Rowen Veratome (they/them) is an interdisciplinary artist with an unseemly love of paradoxes, chocolate, and language that challenges how objects are perceived. If you’d like to keep up with their ongoing (and off-Medium) work, you can sign up to receive a monthly reflection here.